You've Got it Bad

Twenty Three

Jade's POV

The next few days were spent running around to see Perrie, get Jaden ready for school on Monday, and trying to keep up with my shifts.

I've been so busy, Perrie and I hadn't even gotten a chance to talk properly yet. I had so many questions, and I'm sure she did too.

The search for Jimmy was in full effect now. His father was looking all over for him.

As much of a scumbag as he was, he was still someone's son, and looking at my own son, that made me feel a crushing amount of guilt. Still, I had to protect my own. I did what I had to do.

Knowing that the police were searching high and low for Jimmy, and that it would only be a matter of time before it all came back to me, has kept me up for nights.

I could go to jail. Probably for the rest of my life. I could lose Jaden again. How could I be so impulsive and stupid?

I sat on the couch across from Perrie at her mom's house. It was late and Jaden had fallen asleep in my lap. We were supposed to be watching a movie, but I don't think I've looked at the screen once.

I could see Perrie occasionally glance over at me and worry seep into her features, but I couldn't bring myself to meet her eyes. Once the movie was over, Debbie was the first to get up and stretch, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"I think I'm going to call it a night, girls. This bag of bones is tired." She stretched again.

"Um yeah, I should get him to bed." I said to no one in particular because I never took my eyes off the floor.

I didn't know how to feel. I was numb. And I still couldn't look at Perrie. I started to put Jaden's shoes on.

Would she hate me if I told her? Or be afraid of me? I couldn't handle any of that.

"I think I'm gonna go with Jade, mom." She looked straight at me, and for the first time tonight our eyes locked.

"Okay then, you two drive safe. Goodnight." And with that, Debbie disappeared up the stairs.

Perrie and I were still looking at each other. I was trying to read her eyes. To see if there was any disgust in them, but all I saw was worry and sympathy.

"You don't have to, Pez." I said picking up Jaden and throwing him over my shoulder.

The boy was like a sack of potatoes when he was sleeping.

"I think I do, Jade." She said softly.

I sighed and nodded. She was right. If there was any hope for us, we couldn't keep putting it off. She needed to know the truth. What I was capable of.

The car ride to the apartment was silent. She didn't say anything and I had no idea what to say. I was panicky and nervous about how she would react.

This thing between us was like nothing I've ever felt before. I've loved, but this was starting to feel like something else entirely. Something more. I would hate to have ruined that so soon.

My heart started to race and my mouth got dry and then watery all of a sudden. I already knew what was coming. Without fail, every time I get worked up like this.

I pulled over on a side street and tried to calm my breathing before I got sick. It wasn't something I wanted to happen in front of her either.

"Jade, what's wrong?" She asked, concern evident in her tone.

I was going to try and explain my frequent anxiety attacks to her, and how they almost always caused me to get sick, but as soon as I opened my mouth, I felt it coming.