Into the Rage

Chapter 86

Sometimes I couldn't help but think if I hadn't invaded everyone's lives, they wouldn't be in danger from the man that wanted to do me physical harm.

Every time Declan left for work, I worried about him. Every time he was a little late, I would freak out. It was getting ridiculous and I was so tired, mentally and physically, that one morning I just couldn't get out of bed.

It took a lot out of me to just blink my eyes and I felt so bad for Murray when he came to check on me and couldn't get a response.

I heard him on the phone with 911, how frantic his voice sounded and while he was still on the phone, I could hear the sirens in the distance.

He gave them all my particulars, I was now thirty weeks pregnant, he gave them Dr. Dhoot's number and they said she'd be there waiting on me.

One of Murray's men had let the paramedics in and I could hear Murray talking to him while two of the firemen came to my bedside.

Even my blinking was lethargic and cause for alarm.  "Mrs. St. James, if you can hear me and understand what I'm saying, squeeze my hand as much as you can.  Just give me a little sign, okay?"  His voice was warm and comforting and it made me want to try so hard to give him a sign.

I felt my finger move across his knuckles as I heard him breath a sigh of relief.  "I got a response!" He yelled.

Another paramedic used a special piece of equipment to hear Dylan's heartbeat and thank God it was strong and steady and even if I was in distress, he didn't seem to be.

I remember seeing the man smile at the sound and then his kind eyes met mine.  "That's a beautiful sound, isn't it?"  I rubbed his thumb again.  "That's good, really good" he praised.

"Let's get her out of here, now."  I wanted to yell out, asking if anyone had called my husband, but I heard Murray tell them he was riding with me and that he'd called Declan.

I had a feeling I was going to be okay, so I allowed my eyes to close, thinking it would be so great to get some sleep.

Echoed voices tried desperately to jolt me from my deep sleep, but I could never get my eyes to obey long enough to take a peek.

PTSD was one word I heard. I could hear Dr. Dhoot saying my vitals were good, Dylan was fine, but not being able to rouse me frightened even her.

Declan sounded frantic and I just wanted to shout Hey! I'm in here! I can hear you! But my body wouldn't cooperate as my eyes closed again, fatigue being my constant companion.

My eyes were blinking a little easier this time and they didn't feel heavy, but my heart did however feel extremely laden when I saw the sleeping form of my husband, his head down on my bed.

I tested my fingers first, they moved fine.  Then my wrist and finally I picked my arm up and laid my palm on top of Declan's messy hair.

I tenderly massaged his scalp, my mind berating me with guilt over adding more the burden of angst that he was carrying around.

He must have been exhausted because even my touching him did not rouse his sleeping form.

Devon walked in and I immediately held my finger to my mouth, not wanting to wake him.

"He's been here for five days.  Couldn't get him to go home and Jan had to practically force feed him" Devon whispered.

I sighed, shaking my head.  "I don't know what to do about this Devon.  How could I have been out for five days?"  I couldn't understand it at all.

"Dr. Webster said that you are suffering from underlying PTSD and even though it's been over a year, with the trauma you suffered, you still have a long way to go and with this new development, it kind of brought it all back for you." Devon explained.

Declan started to stir slightly and mumbled out my name, which in any other circumstance would have been romantic, but the way he furrowed his brow, he was wrestling with something and it wasn't good.

"Declan" I said gently.  He sighed and started trying to acclimate himself to waking up and then his blood shot, red rimmed eyes met mine.

"Oh baby" I gasped at his appearance.  "Am?" He sounded like he didn't believe I was awake and then he jumped to his feet, his nose buried in my hair.

"I'm okay" I reassured as his hand griped mine, squeezing and caressing my knuckles.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, pulling back to look at me.  "I still feel tired but nothing like earlier" I said truthfully.

Devon asked if we wanted him to go get the doctor and Declan answered "Can you give us about ten minutes please?"  He nodded.  "No problem brother" he said.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he scrubbed his face with his hand, sighed and let his shoulders sag.

I scooted over and said "Declan, please come here baby.  Please.  I need to put my hands on you."

He looked at me for a moment, then kicked off his shoes and laid next to me on his side and even with my big belly, it didn't stop me from cozying up next to him and putting my hand on his hip.

I did what he had earlier and that was put my nose into his hair and breathed deeply, enjoying his scent and the closeness of his body.

"I was so scared" he said, barely audible.  "We couldn't get you to wake up and I felt so helpless.  I can't do this anymore, Am.  I have to get us away from here, so we are going to load up both dogs, some clothes and what not, take Murray and some of his men and we are going to Hyannis.

As soon as you are cleared by Dr. Dhoot we are leaving.  Aubrey said we could bring Magnus and Jan said that both he and Tiberius have been whining for you."

I could tell he was done for and deep down inside I was scared to death that my husband might just walk away, but then again I wouldn't blame him one bit.

"I'm really sorry I brought this guy into your life and I wouldn't blame you for wanting some distance from me right now" I sniffed.

That comment got an immediate response.  Declan turned over and clasped his hand to my face.

"Don't say that.  Don't ever say that, sweet girl.  I would never walk out on you or our child.  Just put that thought out of your head.  It's me and you against this pr*ck" he said.

Right now all I could do was pray that this was over soon.