Into the Rage

Chapter 54

(Continuation of chapter 53)

It'd been a week ago today since I'd gotten a call from Dr. Dhoot, had a consult, lab results from blood work and then I had the procedure done.

The only trick was not having sex with Declan for three days, so I had to fake being sick.  I felt horrible but the end result would make it all worth it.

And when I had the all clear, Declan and I made like rabbits, we f*cked all over our house several times for the next two days.

We were three weeks away from our wedding and my girls had their dresses, and I had mine; flowers, the cake, venue for the ceremony and the venue for the reception were nailed down.

I was so excited I couldn't wait to marry the man of my dreams and the love of my life.  Speaking of which, I hadn't really talked to him in two days.

He didn't return my calls or texts and I was beginning to worry.  We had the event for abused women tonight and I needed to know when he was picking me up.

I texted him again and finally heard back from him but my face frowned when I read it.

It was cold and short.  Working.  Can't go.  Okay.  Weird.  If he wasn't going, then I wouldn't go either.  I texted him back, telling him as much and he replied with Whatever.

What the hell?  I would definitely be cornering his ass when we got home and find out what his problem was.

The rest of the day went as usual and when it was time to be going home, I got a call from Nate.

"Hey Nate.  What's up?" I asked.  "Ms. Amethyst, good evening.  I just wanted to find out what time you wanted me to pick you and Mr. Declan up from The Four Seasons tomorrow."

What?  I didn't understand.  "What do you mean Nate?  Declan said he wasn't going tonight."  I was really confused.

"I'm sorry Ms. Amethyst.  I dropped him off just a few minutes ago.  I had assumed he was meeting you there.  He had a bag with him."

Oh Jesus!  Was he having an affair?  Is that why he was being so distant?  Oh God please no, I couldn't deal with this.

"Nate, please pick me up.  I need to go to the hotel and right now."  He said he was ten minutes away.

I paced until he texted me, letting me know he was downstairs, waiting for me.  The drive to the hotel was painful, my stomach was knotted up and I felt sick.

I asked Nate to please wait on me as I made my way inside.  Once I had gone through a couple of doors, I saw Declan.  He was in a tux and had his back to me.

Just as I was about to approach him, I heard Mari laugh and touch his arm, his arm going around her waist.

All of the talking and laughing stopped when I walked up.  Mari of course smirked at me as she tightened her grip on my fiancé.

"H-how could you?" I whispered.  His look was cold and distant.  "That's rich coming from you" he said.

"I can't believe you showed up here after what you did" Mari sneered.  What in the actual hell was she talking about.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" I responded angrily.  Declan scoffed.  "Says the lying whore who's f*cking my brother!" He shouted back.

Oh Christ!  He thinks I've been seeing Devon?  I had to fix this now, this was wrong and I knew Mari was in the middle of it as well.

"Really?  Jesus do you hear what you're saying?  Where's your proof?"  I asked.  Declan produced his phone.  He had several videos of me with Devon.

The only thing it really showed was me hugging Devon and kissing his cheek.  A couple were at The Four Seasons and three from Dr. Dhoot's office.

"Did you even investigate these videos?" I asked Declan, then I turned to Mari.  "You were the one following me, weren't you?  I knew someone was but I had no idea you were this desperate."  I was crying by this time.

I looked back at a very shocked Mari.  "Do you have any idea what your jealousy has done?"  Then I looked at Declan, just shaking my head.

"I don't know what hurts worse, you not talking to me about this or you being here with that, and planning on sleeping with her.  I know Declan.  Nate said you had an overnight bag."

I turned, running from the building as Declan called after me and Mari trying to stop him.  But it was too late.  The damage was done.

When I reached the car I begged Nate to take me to my old apartment.  I called the maintenance supervisor and asked him to change the locks, offering him two hundred dollars for doing it now.

I sat outside on the balcony of my old apartment for hours.  My phone just kept blowing up.  Declan, Devon, Nate and Nigella.  I didn't answer any of them.  I couldn't.  I was too traumatized by Declan's behavior.

Finally I answered Nigella's call only because I was sick and tired of the phone going off, it made me want to fling it off the balcony.

"What?" I asked tiredly and agitated.  "My God Am!  Finally!  Where are you?  Declan is losing his mind!"

I scoffed.  "He doesn't care about me, Nig.  He called me, and I quote a lying whore who's f*cking his brother.  I don't want to see or talk to him."

I heard her sigh.  "Amethyst you know he didn't mean it.  That man loves you."

"Please quit making excuses for him, Nigella.  He didn't think enough of me to even come and ask me about the videos.  No, instead he just took Mari's word for it."

Nigella didn't try to say anything else, she just left me with a parting request.  "If you need me, please Am, call me.  I mean it."

I called a local grocery store and had them bring a couple of cases of bottled waters, strawberries, grapes, blueberries, vodka, bourbon and crackers.

The thought of eating anything else made me physically sick as I had no appetite but I knew I couldn't starve myself.

I just sat on my balcony, drinking and smoking from my vaporizer, getting drunk and high, trying to erase Declan from my mind.

I just wandered around my empty apartment, barely eating, drinking, sleeping and crying, my life feeling like it was over now.  Everything I'd gone through with my body to give him a child and now it would either never happen or it was possible the procedure was successful and I was already pregnant.

The enormity of those thoughts hit me and I made a promise to myself to quit drinking and smoking, at least for a while anyway.

I wasn't sure how I was going to get through this.  I was about to marry a man that I loved more than life and all of that was over now.
***
I'd been in my apartment for two weeks now and I was sick.  I believed I was probably dehydrated and malnourished plus my stomach had been very upset.  I felt horrible.

Just as I was about to lay down, there was a knock at my door and then a voice.  Nate.

"Ms. Amethyst, please.  Let me in.  Mr. Devon needs to see you immediately.  Please" he begged.

Sighing I walked to the door, unlocked it and let him in.  He gasped when he saw me.  I was thin, dark circles under my eyes, the shine was gone from my hair and eyes and I had to put my engagement ring on the necklace around my neck.

"Where?" I asked tiredly.  "Mr. and Mrs. St. James' home.  Everyone is there and I think it would behoove you to come.  I wouldn't say if I didn't think this way."

"Fine.  Let's get this over with and then you can bring me back here."  Nate nodded and assisted me to his car.