Chapter 4

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I got up, showered and dressed. Feeling not sick, but worried.
I figured a walk down the road would do me some good, fresh air was probably something i needed right now.
I walked to the drug store, feeling guilty, scared, worried, sick & most of all nervous.
At the check out, the cashier and the woman behind me gave me dirty looks. I didn't care.
Once i was out of the store and out of sight, i shoved it into the pocket of my coat and rushed home.

I sat on the corner of the tub with my head buried in the palms of my hands.
I'm pregnant.

Tears began to roll down my face, i began to sweat and i sat down on the toilet. I can't be pregnant, i'm 19 years old. Besides, what would i tell mom and dad & Justin's fans? Justin's career would go down the drain along with both of our lives. People would judge us to no end.

What the hell am i going to do.


Justin came home a while later, and i did not want to tell him. How would i? What am i going go do.

We ended up ordering pizza for supper and going for a walk on the beach afterwards.
We didn't hold hands, we were in public.
" Are you feeling better now? " He asked.
" Yeah, a lot better! " i lied.
" I was thinking about watching a movie later on tonight? You up for it?"

" Yeah that sounds great babe. " i answered.

He looked over at me, smiling and looked down at my hand. " I wish i could hold it. " He laughed.

I giggled with him, " i know, me too. "

1 hour later, we walked up the back steps of my apartment and he grabbed my side, " Jess i hope you know how much i love you. "

I smiled, looking down at the sand irritated wood. " I love you too. "

We sat down outside for a while, watching the sunset and talking about the Believe Tour.

" It's starting back up in 1 month, i'll be gone for 3 and i'll be back for another year after that. "

" Sounds good, " i lied again, this time sounding disappointed and sad that i won't see him for 3 months.

"Babe, i'm gonna miss you like crazy."

" I'm going to miss you too, but what is this going to mean for us? "

" What do you mean? "

" Justin people are gonna start worrying about your life, more than ever. 3 months without a break and without your family. They'll be asking me questions, looking for me. "

" Babe, they already do. "

" But what will they say when they see me? " - oops. I never meant for that to slip out.

" What do you mean? " He grabbed my thumb and rubbed it against his.

" Nothing, never mind. " i said trying to change the subject.

" It's okay, tell me. "

Before he could even finish what he was saying, i stood up and walked in through the door.
I couldn't fight the tears, i felt him come up behind me, he pulled me in tightly from behind. I turned around and wrapped both my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder.
He rubbed my back, " babe, please don't cry. "

I never answered, i could barely catch my breath.

" It breaks my heart to see you sad, please tell me what's wrong. "

I let go, and pulled back to wipe my eyes.

" Sit down. " I said walking over to the kitchen table.

He grabbed my hand as we sat across from each other at the table, " Justin, i'm so sorry. "

" Babe, for what? "

" Justin i'm pregnant. "

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