Finding the Courage to Fly ( A Sleeping with Sirens And Other Bands Fan fiction)

Chapter 48

I can't quit thinking about of he is the dad or not. It is 3 in the morning and I can't take this anymore so I am going over there.

I wiggled myself out of Alan's tight grasp and put a pillow in my place. It looked so cute.

I have my black spandex and a tank top on and I don't give a shit. I have to know.

I slipped on my black vans and my favorite slipknot hoodie and grabbed my phone. I slipped out the door and closed it. I walked to the island and grabbed my keys before someone said "where do you think our going at three in the morning" which made me jump ten feet in the air.

"I have to go to Shay's house. I have to talk to him. Austin please cover for me" I said and he sighed and said "fine" and I hugged him before running out the door and in my car. I can't quit thinking about it.

I parked my car and ran up to the front door. I rang the door bell and a very sleep and adorable Shayley Bourget opened the door.

"Carter, what the hell are you doing here at three in the morning" he said his voice husky with sleep. Which I still find attractive.

"Can I talk to you" I asked.

"Well isn't that what your doing" he rhetorically asked.

"Haha very funny smart ass. I'm serious. It's serious" I said.

"Sure come in" he said.

I walked in and sat on the couch. To be honest I am so nervous to tell. I mean I don't care if he is the dad but for some reason it makes me nervous. Maybe it's the fact that I still have feelings for him, but I always will. He was my first love, my best friend. I'm always gonna see him like that. But I love Alan.

"Hey you okay" he asked snapping me out of my train of thought.

"Y-yeah. Um. Do you remember the last time we had sex?" I asked.

He grinned and said "oh yeah" and I rolled my eyes.

"Well did you use protection" I asked uneasy.

"Hell yeah I used protection" he said and I sighed of relief.

"Well good then that means-" I started then stopped myself.

I took a deep breath and said " I'm pregnant with twins. That's why I came here. To see if they were yours but there not. They are Alan's. A boy and a girl" I said smiling.

He smiled and looked at my stomach then back at me. He hugged me so tight I thought I was going to burst.

I yawned and realized I was so tired.

"I better head back. It's like four and I want sleep" I yawned again then laughed.

"No you are not driving. You are staying here. No argument" he demanded and I sighed knowing there was no point in arguing with him.

"Okay but where am I going to sleep" I asked.

"In my bed. I can take the couch" he said and I shook my head.

"No. I can't take your bed" I said.

"You can and you will" he said and picked me up bridal style.

"You know sometimes I hate you" I mumbled and he laughed and said "I know" laying me down on his bed.

"Oh kinky" I said and winked.

He laughed and turned to leave and I grabbed his wrist. Something inside me wanted him to stay. I don't know why. Hormones? I don't know.

"Stay" I whispered.

He climbed in and wrapped his arms around me while my head rested on his chest.

"Can you sing to me" I asked and he chuckled and said "sure. What song" and I knew immediately what I wanted to hear.

"My Understandings" I said quietly.

He began and it was beautiful.

Soon I drifted off to sleep.

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I woke up in someone's arms and remembered I was at Shay's.

I grabbed my phone and looked at the time 2 in the afternoon.

I got up and kissed Shay on the cheek and left.

I opened the door and walked in to my apartment and shut the door. I walked to the island and set my keys on the table and turned around to come face to face with Alan.

"Oh my god Alan you scared the shit out of me!" I screamed.

"Where did you go" he asked and there was a look in his eyes I have never seen before and it kinda scared me.

"I had to do something. I went to a friends" I said and slid past him to go to our room. He grabbed me by the wrist and spun me around. His grip was tight and it kinda hurt.

" at three in the morning?" He asked rhetorically.

"Okay I went to Shay's. I had to see if he was the dad or not. But he isn't. Which means you are. Now please let go. You are hurting me Alan" and he dropped his hand and ran his hand through his hair.

He hugged me tight.

"Alan are you okay" I asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. You should get some sleep" he suggested and I didn't argue with that.

I slid in my bed and fell asleep right away.

Alan's P.O.V

I don't know what to do.

I can't be a father.

But I love her too much to leave her.

I closed the door and walked over to the couch and sat next to Austin who was watching Star Wars.

"Everything okay" he asked, not taking his eyes away from the screen.

"No" I said quickly.

"Tell me" he said.

"I don't know if I can do this Austin" I sighed and his head snapped to my face so quick and his eyes had anger in them.

"You listen here Alan Ashby. You are the one who got her in this mess so you are going to go through it with her. She means so much to me and I swear if you leave her I will end you. You can't run from your problems Alan. If you love her then love her. But don't hurt her because I swear Alan you will regret it" he said looking me straight in the eyes and I have never been so scared if him in my entire life.

"Austin I'm not meant to be a dad! I love her but I don't know if I can do this!" I yelled and put my head in my hands.

"So you can't do this anymore" I heard and I knew she heard us.

I looked at her and she had tears in her eyes and she was angry.

"Wait I can explain-" I started but she cut me off.

"Save it Alan. I knew it wouldn't last. I knew I wasn't good enough and I definitely knew you would never change. Your still the same Alan you always were. So I'm sorry I'm not some playboy girl you can toy with but I can't take you hurting me. So if you don't want this anymore then end it right now" she said and started to cry.

Tears welt up in my eyes and I tried to blink them away. But one strayed down my cheek. What have I done.

Austin hugged her and she sobbed into his shirt.

I broke her.

And I don't know of I can fix her this time.