Finding the Courage to Fly ( A Sleeping with Sirens And Other Bands Fan fiction)

Chapter 29

Shayley's P.O.V

She doesn't believe in love anymore. She doesn't believe in it because of that asshole Justin and what he did to her. I don't see why he did that. He is a dumbass to not see what he had. She is amazing. She is smart, funny, insanely beautiful, self conscious although I have no idea why, and tough. I can feel her steady breathing. Her mouth slightly a gap and her eyes closed. She looks so peaceful and I love it. I am determined to make her believe in love again. Because I think I'm in love with her and I want nothing more than to call her mine.

Carter's P.O.V

I woke up to the smell of bacon and sausage. Which smelled so good right now. I hopped out ta bed to realize I was in a totally different shirt. My old Def Lepard shirt. And underwear. I shrugged it off and put some black long socks on because I was freezing. I walked out into the kitchen where Shay was making breakfast. I walked up to him as he was cooking and I wrapped my arms around his waist and put my head against his back. He said " well good morning gorgeous " happily. I mumbled a " morning " sleepily.

He put everything on two separate plate and set them on the counter. I jumped on the country and sat down Indian style. He handed me my plate and a smoothie.

" you made smoothies " I exclaimed happy.

" mixed berry. I know how much you love that one. After the week you've had I thought you deserved it " he said while smiling.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face on the crook of his neck and whispered " Shay, your the best " while trying not to cry. He wrapped his arms around my waist and said " no problem. You know you deserve a lot better than him. "

I looked up at him with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes.
He saw and he wiped the year away from my face with his thumb and said " don't cry. Your better than that. He isn't worth crying over baby girl. "

I looked down and said " I know. Its just hard you know? I actually thought I loved him. I thought that he was the one. That I was actually good enough this time. But I guess I was wrong. Why does this happen Shay? Why do I always think I actually might be good enough? That it might actually work out this time? Just to have it thrown back at me on the face " I said with more tears streaming down my face. He lifted my chin up do I had to look at him.

" it's not your fault he is too blind to see what he has right in front of him. You deserve so much better than what you have " he said and wiped my tears away.

" Shay. You don't have to be here. I don't need pity. I'm better off alone. That way I don't get dissapointed. That way I dont dissapoint. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of everything. I was good for a while but now I'm not so sure. I don't know if I can do this " I said the last part quietly bit he still heard me. The look in his eyes I swear it looked likebje was gonna breakdown and cry.

" don't ever say that again " he said. His voice cracking and barely a whisper. I remember the last and only time I say him cry. It was when his girlfriend cheated in him and he went bezerk. He was a huge mess but I cleaned him up. I guess it was just too much to bear at the time.

I jumped down from the counter and ran to my room. He is crying because of you. You always fuck things up. Damn. I honestly wish toy would just listen for once. Maybe your better off dead. The voice in my head sounded very convincing. I didn't even bother to shit my door. I just sat in the corner of my room and held my knees to my chest while rocking back and forth with my head down.

I don't know if I can take this anymore. I thought I could just push it all down but I can't. Seeing Shayley cry was just too much. I can't do this anymore.

I went to the bathroom and slammed the door and locked it. I took the razor blade and made several deep and sloppy cuts on my wrist and took down a whole big bottle of Advil and opened it. I heard him banging on the door and telling me to open it. I downed the bottle and the last thing I said was " Shay......I love you. I'm sorry " before everything went black.

A/N: So what do you guys think? Sorry it took so long I just wanted it to be perfect. What do you guys think. Comment and Vote. Lovr all of you and enjoy!!?