Chenford - more depth

Chapter 69

Tim's pov
As I'm reading it out loud it's like I can hear her voice, her little soft voice when she's telling me to breathe, the giggle she does when she says about knowing each other too well, I can picture her smile that beautiful smile of hers, her joking about Lucy lessons. Gosh I miss her.
Tears are rolling down my face.
"I.." I stutter
"Tim look I shouldn't have pushed you to go out either, I didn't know she was doing this." Angela says.
"I know, it isn't your fault. She's stubborn and when she wants something she gets it done" I say.
"That is true, she's definitely breaking records. First rookie to arrest someone on their first day before they've even started and now all this undercover work. It isn't your fault either son" Grey says reassuringly.
"We have to look for her still right? I mean I get she's said to leave her but?" Angela says.
"Yeah of course. We need to know she's okay physically and mentally, if she still says she wants to go you know we can't force her Tim" grey says.
"I know.. I just wish she'd spoken to me. I don't understand why or how she'd think that I would ever see her as weak. I don't know how she is mentally, I mean I didn't even know she was making herself throw up after eating. Have i really been so oblivious to it?" I ask
"No Tim, don't start blaming yourself. She hid it for a reason. But we do need to find her. I think we need to understand what caused her to go though. The childhood stuff" Angela says.
"I don't think that's a good idea.." I reply.
"Why? It would help us gage what she's so afraid of?" Angela asks confused.
"I mean yeah but she's obviously so conflicted and hurt by this that she's left. Especially when we was suppose to be starting our family together. As much id love to know about it, so I can help her i can't. I can't look into it. I feel like whatever this is, it needs to come from her" i respond, i know Lucy. She would hate it if I went behind her back.
"But Tim what if she doesn't come back?" Angela asks.
"Then I guess I will never understand but I have to give her the chance. I'm not giving up. Not yet." I say as I stand up placing the note on the side.
"Son you're handling this better than I thought you would do?" Grey asks.
"Externally yes, internally no sir but Lucy and I worked through my guilt. It's not perfect but it's getting there, and she would kill me if she was here and I was loosing it" I laugh. Angela and Grey giggle.
Grey grabs his radio.
"This sergeant Grey, now officer Lewis Wayne i apologise for not being there on your first night shift as a rookie but this is an extreme set of circumstances. A very important and impressive officer of ours is missing. Now I need you to keep your eyes peeled her, you'll have a picture of her on your screen. Smitty I need you to keep your eyes extra vigilant. Now be safe. Any possible sightings you let me know."
"Tim you know it's best for you to say here so Angela keep with him, I'm going to head out and help the officers check the surrounding area." He says as leaves.
"She will be okay right?" I ask Angela.
"She will, but the blood isn't a good sign" she says.
"I mean I didn't even notice her making herself throw up after eating, is she self harming again or is it from the IV or her stitches? Oh what if she's bleeding out somewhere!" I panic. I think the shock and adrenaline has worn off and I've realised what's happening. Kojo is still sat the bedroom door.
"Tim the blood stops, she must have it under control. It's probably from her stitches but with it not trailing it'll be okay. Kojo must love her" Angela says looking over at Kojo.
"He does, I've never seen him like about anyone I've been with. But he's not the only one. I love her too. I want to look into it but I feel like I'm betraying her by doing that."
"Yeah I know you love her and she loves you. She obviously thinks she's doing the best thing for you. I get the feeling of betrayal. Look let's see if we hear anything then we go from there. It's going to have to be mentioned as of the report about the Undercover operation."
"Yeah I guess so"

Lucy's pov
I hear sirens. I know I need to make this decision. I grab the radio and turn it on, I plug in my earphones and place one earbud in my ear so I can still hear my surroundings.
Just as I do I hear Grey speaking to the new rookie about his first night shift.
Gosh i remember mine, it feels like it was yesterday.
Come on Lucy I need stop this. Stop this dawdling. You need to go.
I stand up, I wince in pain from my stitches but I carry on walking. As I come up the main road, I'm constantly on alert.
I cross over and head into the shop, I nod at the security on the way in. Act casual.
I grab a bottle of whisky, some antiseptic wipes, a few bandages and I head to the tills. I attempted to go to self check out so I didn't have to make it more obvious I was there but I was called over.
"Next"
"Hi, just these" i smile and i hand her them.
"No worries. £14.90"
I use my credit card.
"You don't know of 24/7 rent a car place? Mines broken down but I'm in the middle of moving so thought it might be easier" I ask as I grab my shopping.
"You're in luck, just up the road to left they've just changed there opening hours so if you go quickly you'll make it. Good luck with moving"
"Thank you!" I smile and then I leave and head to the rent a car dealership. 
I walk in, "hi I know this is last minute but I'm in need of a car to rent."
"No worries, any particular style or make?"
"No any is fine. Here's my credit card. I need it like right now" I smile.
"Okay no worries"

Tims pov
"I can't do this Ange" I finally say after sitting in silence for like 10 minutes.
"Can't do what?" She says she turns and looks at me.
"This. Loose her. I need her ange" i say as I feel my eyes filling up. "What if I speak to her parents? They're suppose to be coming around next week, I could ask them to come tomorrow?"
"And say what? Ask them if they abused their daughter and recorded it then published it on a website? With no evidence? Tim we don't know anything about what happened. You know we can't go accusing them. It could make things worse for Lucy." Angela says trying to reassure me about it all. I know Lucy. I know this must be something for her to do this. All of this.
"You're right I know. Wait? Is that what happened to her?" I say feeling physically sick.
"Tim no we don't know. We have no idea but we had that idea before Lucy left. How did she seem with her parents?"
"She looked pale, in shock. I just assumed it was because she wasn't expecting them which she wasn't. But they called her a name.. that's when she really went pale." I say remembering back to the moment I saw her see them.
"What name Tim?"
"We joked about it as I was like is that childhood nickname, she didn't answer if it was but she joked saying we can discuss what mine was. But now that I think about it. They called her Lucia.." Lucia. Tim are you stupid.  "Surely it's a coincidence? Maybe her legal name is Lucia and she goes by Lucy?"
"Tim, Mateo, Chris, the guy we have just arrested, her parents all called her this name. Mateo described this abuse that a Lucia went through and she had the exact same birth mark." Angela says.
"I'm not looking into it. I'm giving Lucy the chance to do it herself." I say but we both know deep down I need to know. The unknowing is killing us both.