Chenford - more depth

Chapter 37

Tim's pov
It's been an hour since we got to the bar, Lucy's had a few drinks and she's dancing around. She then gets up and does karaoke. Id never heard her sing before but wow.. she has the voice of an Angel. The whole time I've been here I've been panicking about her but just for these couple of minutes while she's singing, I feel myself relax and be in awe of her singing. I head to a booth sitting down and Lucy stands in between my legs, I see Angela heading towards us.
"I did not expect to you see you two here" Angela says smiling.
"Neither did I" i say looking at her.
"This is so much fun" Lucy says as she goes off dancing with this girl she's made friends with. I immediately keep an eye on her while I talk to Angela.
"Tim what's going on?" She asks.
"Todays a bad day for Lucy, the date it is today and then some stuff off her mum. She broke down crying this morning then she nearly relapsed. But we worked through it and then she had a shower and came out saying let's go out. I told her no but she wasn't having it so I came with her because she was going to go alone." I say.
"Yeah I saw her post, and how did you know she was going to relapse? She tell you? And Tim her letting her hair down isn't a bad thing although you may struggle to get her home as she's a little drunk" she says as she looks over at Lucy.
"No, she had that look, but we spoke about it. And Angela I don't see how you don't understand where I'm coming from?" I ask her puzzled.
"Shit Tim.. sorry I wasn't thinking, you mentioned how you feel?" She asks as she takes a sip of her drink.
"Yeah I said it reminded me of my dad after my mum died. She just said I promise you I'm not your dad and it's one night." I say getting worried at how Lucy is acting.
"Let me talk to her you go to the bar" Angela says.
I agree, I get up and I head to the bar, it's taking everything in me not to keep looking but I know if I do Lucy will know I've said something. She's safe with Angela. She won't let anything happen to her. I order another drink and just sit at the bar.

Lucy's pov
I'm in a complete world of my own and then I see Angela.
"Angela babyyy!" I squeal as i immediately give her hug. "You look hot momma" i say smiling at her.
"Lucy hey girl thank you, look.." she says but I interrupt her before she can say another word because I know exactly what she's going to say. That I should listen to Tim and that it's time to go home blah blah. I needed to be free, I felt confident maybe that was the alcohol but still.
"Shhh come on let's go dance" i say as i drag Angela to the dance floor.
"Lucy I think it's time to go home now, it's late" Angela says as she can see Tim getting worked up.
"Buttt" I say pleading.
"Tim come get your girlfriend!" She shouts and Tim comes walking over.
He immediately puts his arm around gently guiding me to leave.
"One more drink!" I say smiling at him.
"Lucy come on don't make this harder than it needs to be" he says in this more serious tone.
I just roll my eyes and walk with him. Well stumble a little but he keeps his arm around me. We get in the Uber and I just turn and kiss him on the lips, he gently kisses me back before pulling away.
I get out of the Uber, and walk into the house, Tim follows behind.
I turn around, "we going to bed" i say looking at him smiling. My gosh he looks handsome.
He just nods and follows me. As soon as we walk into the bedroom I go on my tip toes, wrapping my arms around his neck kissing him. He kisses back as he puts one arm around my back touching my arse and the other on my cheek.
"Tim" i say between kisses. "Tonight's the night" i say and he pulls back.
"Baby what do you mean" he says looking puzzled but he doesn't let go of my arse.
I start to lift his top up. "I'm ready to go to the next step babe, I want you.." i say as I pull his top completely off.
"Lucy you're drunk.. we're not doing that while you're drunk" he says.
"I'm just tipsy and what you're saying I'm not pretty?" I say as place my hand on his chest.
"No I'm not saying that Lucy, you look fucking incredible but one your tipsy then, two you're not on anything and I don't have any condoms right now. And three Lucy..you know what it doesn't matter." He says frustratedly.
"Go on what's three? And I've wanted to do this but I didn't know how to.. so maybe the alcohol is making me feel more confident." I say as I pull back from him.
"It's scary seeing you like this.. going wild. It isn't you. You're grieving and this is exactly how things were when my dad died. He kept drinking but saying it's fine because it's one night. And you could have told me you was ready.." he says was he strokes my cheek.
"Tim I'm sorry.. I don't mean to bring up trauma from your dad. That wasn't my intention baby. I just don't get why you have to physco analyse every little thing I do! Why can't we just be..." I say frustratedly as I pull away and move closer to the bedroom door.
"Just be what Lucy?" He says getting angry.
" I don't know Tim. Why can't we just be. Why do you feel like you have to physco analyse everything I do?! Why can't I just be. And this isn't me grieving, this is just me trying to find myself and have a good time! Now I'm going to bed" i say as I go to open the bedroom door.
"Lucy where are you going? The bed is right here." He says puzzled. But I ignore him.
"Do you know what Lucy do whatever. Im past caring"He says as he turns to get changed and get into bed.
I walk straight into the spare bedroom, I close the door, get changed and climb into bed. Id started to sober up when we got in, it just felt like he judged and overlooked into everything I did, i couldn't breathe. I sit in bed twiddling my fingers trying to go over the conversation. But i also know he's hurting still over the things his dad did. I can't stand to sleep away from him..

Tim's pov
I climb into bed, I'm sat with my head back and my eyes closed going over and over that conversation. Of course I wanted nothing more than to show her how much I love her but she was tipsy or whatever, and it's her first I want it to be memorable. Maybe I do over analyse everything she does, what if I've just pushed her away. I can't stand to sleep away from her..