Chenford - more depth

Chapter 65

Tim's pov
"No Tim you aren't going back to the hospital, get yourself out of my house and to the bar with Wesley" Angela says she opens the front door.
"I didn't say anything?!" I say looking at her shocked as I didn't say anything.
"You're thinking it Tim, she will call you if she needs you. Just breath, she is probably just about to have the doctors come and check on her. So just go to the bar. Look we can go to the hospital first thing in the morning." Angela says reassuringly.
"Fine okay, and I know she will be okay. She's tough. I just hate leaving her" i say back.
"I know but it's for a night. We will go back first thing" Angela says.
"And to be fair mate it is uncomfortable sleeping there in them chairs" Wesley says chuckling.
"First thing?" I say looking at them.
"First thing" they both say at the same time.
"Okay" i say and me and Wesley head off to the bar to watch the game. It's been a while since I watched the game at the bar, id completely forgot it was on till Lucy said.

Lucy's pov
7:47pm. 13 minutes to go. This has to be the right thing to do. Not only am I making sure they don't see me as weak but also saving them from having to deal with the burden that is me.
7:58pm the doctor walks in early. I'm so relieved that he's early.
"How are we feeling?" He asks.
"Not too bad thank you, just tired" i say and I fake a yawn.
"That's expected. Now the IV shall last you a couple of hours but I will put it on a slower setting so you don't have to wake up. Although at around 7am it'll run out so you'll need to take the medication. Are you able to take that alone? In the morning we can reassess" He asks
"Yeah I will." I reply.
"Brilliant. I shall see you in the morning. Get some sleep" he says and he leaves.
I wait a minute to make sure he has definitely gone. I sit up slowly. I sit on the edge of the bed facing the wall in front of me, with my legs over and on the floor. I take a deep breathe in before standing up. Come on Lucy. i slowly crouch down to the floor, making sure I don't bend over as it will ruin everything. This is my only chance to do this and I need to do it.
I grab the bag Angela brought, I open it taking out the change of clothes Angela brought, placing them onto the bed. But also my police badge is in here attached to the side of the back. I realise she's used the same back I used to go undercover. And I'm so grateful.
I steadily get changed into the black pair of leggings and the dark grey t shirt, thankfully there's no buttons. I place the police badge onto the waist band of my leggings, slightly to the side so I can hide it with my jacket. I slide my shoes on, I turn to put my black leather jacket on realising I'm going to have pull this IV out of my hand.
I take my other hand I pull the IV out with some force. It stings but I can manage it. There's a little bit of blood but it's fine, I slowly stand up and grab the medication off the side, sliding it into my coat pocket.
I have these little doubts in the back of mind telling me come on he will understand but I can't. I can't do this to him. Be a burden. Be seen as weak. It's not fair. All because I couldn't save myself as a child he has to suffer.
I look at the room before walking out, I walk down the corridor. Part of me wants to keep my head down to avoid being seen but I know that's going to bring more attention to me. So I keep my head up I just avoid eye contact with anyone. I'm in pain, I'm tired. Like really tired.
I get to the front of the hospital, I know that if I use this free phone to call a taxi they'll track it. I mean it's obvious where I'm going but I don't know if I'll use that same taxi when I leave. I can't risk it. Not when I'm going this far. I need to use my cop head and eyes as Tim would say.
I walk out of the hospital, the cold crisp air hits me. It's a little chilly out, the winds blowing. It's not dark but it's cloudy. The trees are swaying, people walking around laughing and smiling, the usual sounds of the traffic. I see couples together and a tear drops down my cheek remembering how I don't know if or when I'll see Tim again.
I walk down the street just so I'm out of view of the hospitals cameras.
"Excuse me miss" i say gently to a woman walking by.
"Yeah?" She turns around and looks at me.
"Could you call me a taxi, my phones just died" i say politely.
"Of course" she says and she grabs her phone out of her pocket. "Where to?" She asks.
"The villas estates" i say smiling. Luckily within there, there's a few different estates so they can't say anything.
"It's lovely around there, I'd love to live there someday" she says as she books the taxi for me.
"Yeah it is, and maybe one day you will. Thank you again for doing this"
"No worries. See you" she says and she goes on her way.
I stand there for around 15 minutes, I'm paranoid that someone from the station or Tim is going to see me. I just people watch, mainly to see if I see anyone I know.
Then the Uber pulls up, I get in.
"Where to miss?" He asks.
"91 Kingston Villas" i say and he sets off.

Tim's pov
The games starting, I've got a beer and Wesley is walking back over.
"Feels good to be out man" Wesley says.
"It does, I just can't stop thinking about her man" i say.
"I know but she's made of tough stuff that woman, she will be fine. She the one?" He asks.
"Oh yeah she is. Always knew she was different from when she came in on her first day and had already made an arrest. But I know she's the one." I say smiling at the thought of our future.
"That's good man, i never thought the day I met Angela that I'd be with her. A lawyer and a detective. Who'd have thought hey" he says chuckling.
"Loves a crazy thing."
"It sure is. When did you know she was the one?" He asks.
"I knew she was special because she was the only one who spoke back at my Tim tests, understood about my dad. Knew how to make me laugh when I felt like shit. The moment I knew she was the one? Surprisingly it was the day she got me back after a Tim test, I did my special flour bomb test on her. The day she became a p2 she said she had a gift for me as a thank you and as part of her evaluation on me as I did them for her. I opened it and low and behold it was a flour bomb. The only person that has ever done that. But i also suppose it was when I had an exam coming up, she had picked up on how I learn better hearing it out loud. There was a book I needed to read and she made an mp3 version of it reading the book herself." I smile as I imagine these memories in my head.
"That does sound like Lucy. You going to ask her to marry you? Please tell me before Angela because otherwise every outing we have after this you'll be paying" he chuckles.
"I'll tell you both together closer to the time. But yeah I plan on marrying her. When she was shot we was talking about how starting our family, we'd already discussed that we was going to start after that operation but I needed her to focus on surviving. Two children she wants, two mini versions of us both" I smile.
"Oh help us all! You two are bad enough nevermind two mini versions of you both" we both chuckle and then turn to watch the game.

Lucy's pov
I get out of the Uber, and quickly head inside grabbing the money we keep for food deliveries out of the draw and then handing it to the driver.
I walk back in. I stand for a second as the door closes. Taking everything in. The colour of the walls, how things are left, the smell. Then of course Kojo is instantly barking, and licking me.
"Shh boy, you're okay. We're okay" I say but he doesn't stop.
"Kojo we need to be quiet. Mummy is okay." I say looking at him but he doesn't stop. I know I can't bring attention to here because the neighbours will call someone like the last time he acted like this. Then Tim will find out and he will turn up and then what? I didn't want to rush this, I wanted to take this all in one last time. But I know I don't have long and besides Tim could easily come home.
I bend down and stroke Kojo behind his ear, and as I do I feel this burning, stabbing sensation in between my ribs. Shit.
"Ow" I look down and I lift my top up, the blood trickles. Shit.
"Good boy I love you so much. I'm so sorry I have to go. Daddy will look after you" i say to Kojo as I stand up. I walk into the bedroom looking at the photo of me and Tim.
I grab my slightly bigger than normal handbag, quickly placing things in that I physically can't leave behind. My ultrasound photo in the plastic wallet,my tablets, the ring Tim found me with, the pendant that I for some reason had this attachment to, a few pairs of clothes and a credit card that Tim doesn't know about. I place the bag on the bed for a second and I sit down because of the pain I've got in my stomach. Breathe Lucy. Come on. Kojo is still barking. I know I need to be quick.
I grab my phone and I look through all the photos of everything and everyone. I smile, I laugh, and I just feel myself tearing up. Knowing this is the last time I'll be able did this. I know I can't take my phone with me. Cop head on.
Luckily Tim had a little portable Polaroid camera and you could plug your phone in to print photos. So I did. I printed photos of me and Tim, Tim with the flour bomb, Me and Angela, Me and Kojo, a photo of us all at the station, just about everything. I put the camera down on the side with my phone. I place all the photos in the plastic wallet in the bag.
I pick the bag up and head into the kitchen.
I grab a glass of water and take some of the tablets that I was given from the hospital for the pain, plus some of the antibiotics I was left with.
I give Kojo a treat to distract him just for 5 minutes. Or that was the plan anyway..
I take the bag into the spare room, I close the door behind me. I grab a pen off the side and i write Tim a letter. I fold it gently and place it on top of the laptop.
I look down at my ring, I take it off and place it on top of the letter.
I see a spare radio from the station, it's small one we sometimes used for under cover operations. I turn it on to see if it works, it does. I shouldn't. I shouldn't take it. They don't know we still had it. I didn't either but I could use it to my advantage.
Shit. I heard a car pulling up. I need to get out of here. I need to go now.