Chenford - more depth

Chapter 12

Tim's pov
"Lucy no.." i run towards her reaching my arm out as far as I can..
I feel her jacket scrape past the end of my fingers, I see weightless body falling, I fall to the ground. Pouching the ground. "FUCKKKKK" I scream I feel my whole body shaking, I physically can't comprehend what has just happened. I feel a tear drop my from my face and then I feel Angela tap me on the shoulder. I have no idea what's happening around me, all I feel is anger, disappointment and like my heart is breaking.
" Tim..look at me and breathe" Angela says while holding on to my shoulder.
"How can I breath.. how... when she's down there.." I struggle to get my words out.
"Tim an ambulance and air ambulance was already on route as a precaution, the road was closed off but we couldn't secure the scene or put the inflatable down in time. There's still a chance. She's been through so much in past. She's a fighter. When she was in that barrel she fought and fought because she knew you'd save her.." Angela says hoping to reassure me.
"If that's the case Angela she would have come to just then. And she's a shell of herself now quite literally. You saw how weightless she is." I stutter.
"I can't loose her ange.. I can't.."
"Come on Tim, get up there's a path you can get down but you may have to climb some. Go be with her. She needs you" Angela says and points to this path that I'd not even seen before.
I jump up running down that path and as I get near the bottom I start having to jump and climb down. As I get near the bottom, it sinks that I'm actually going to see her. And I have no idea what to expect or if she's even alive. I still feel the blood pumping in my body.
I get down the last bit, I turn around and see her body laid there. Sprawled out on the floor, her eyes closed, blood around her, her face white as a ghost, her lips slightly open from where she must have screamed silently on her way down. I run over and check her pulse. Nothing.
"Come on Lucy.. we don't give up." I say before immediately starting to give her CPR. I feel her bones breaking as I do it, I open her air ways breathing into them as I continue to do CPR. It's like time has frozen, I am genuinely so scared. It must have been 2 minutes but my god it felt like eternity before the ambulance turned up. I see Bailey running towards us.
"Bradford come on I need to take over and get her onto this gurney and to the hospital" Bailey says
"I can't leave her.." I say while still giving CPR.
"You can come with us but we don't have time right now." She says as her and her partner move Lucy onto the gurney and in to the ambulance.
I run behind and jump in.
"Lucy come on.." I say over and over holding her hand.
Bailey hooks her up to all the machines. But in order to that she cuts the sleeves of Lucy's jacket as she didn't have time to unzip it. It was in that moment that I saw her self harm marks on her arm. My heart broke. I mean Grey had said she had the blades etc and I knew it but to actually see it.. I don't know.. it hurt I guess. "CLEAR" she shouts. I move my hand as she shocks her in order to get her heart beating again. "CLEAR" she shouts and shocks her. "CLEAR" she shouts and shocks her before waiting a minute. " I got a pulse. It's weak but it's there" she says before putting the oxygen mask onto Lucy's face.
Every time she shocked her it's like my heart stopped, I couldn't explain it. It was terrifying. I mean even with Caleb she didn't need shocking. I was petrified I was gonna loose her. The second Bailey said she had a pulse I felt like I could breathe again. I knew it was only weak but it was something. We eventually get to the hospital and Bailey wheels her in, i get made to sit in the waiting room. Luckily everyone else had made it. Grey, Nolan, Smitty, Angela, Nyla, Wesley. They was all sat there.
"29 year old female, fallen from a great height, found unconscious and not breathing, heart stopped for approx 5 minutes. Current status, slow heart rate bp is slightly high" Bailey says to the nurse as they wheel her off.
"Bradford she will be okay" grey says.
"He's right Tim, Lucy is a fighter" Angela says and everyone nods and agrees. I sit down with my head in my knees. My foot anxiously tapping. Lucy would know how to calm me down in this situation but she wasn't here.. all I could do was watch the clock. Watching every single doctor that came past on the off chance it was information on Lucy. 3 hours passed.

"Family of Lucy Chen" the doctor eventually called out.
Everyone stood up. "Here" I say anxiously waiting for his answer.
"Okay so she went into cardiac arrest 3 times on the table but as of right now she is stable. She's severely dehydrated and underweight so she's currently on a drip, she's broken her arm, quite a severe concussion so the next 24 hours are extremely critical. She also had some internal bleeding which some we believe was from the fall, the others not so much. We can allow 2 people in at a time. Who'd like to come?" The doctor explains.
I'm listening but it's like I can't process what he's saying.. so she had internal bleeding from Chris.. fuck..
Everyone gestures for me to go, "go on Tim go be with her" everyone says smiling.
I head off with the doctor. We approach her room and he signals it's that one and walks off. I stand there for a second, I want to run in and just pick her up but seeing her is gonna break me. Room 93
I slowly open the door, I see her laid there, in the hospital gown, her clothes all bloody and ripped in a plastic bag next to her bed. Her hair somehow still in that low pony it was in before, just a little messy, all the tubes and wires attached to her. I go and sit next to her, I take hold of her hand, kissing the back of it.
"Lucy..I don't know if you can hear me but it's me Tim I'm here.. I'm not mad at you, I just want you to be okay. I wish you'd have reached out to me. I miss our conversations as much as I said no personal conversations in the shop, your voice was just soothing. I was in a panic sat in the waiting room just then, if only you'd been there because you'd know exactly what to do. I meant it when I said I came to check on you every morning because I care. I care a lot Lucy, I don't know if you can hear this but I will tell you when you come round. I have feelings for you Lucy, I have for a while. Every time I've seen you I just wanted to make you mine, to pick you up and be there for you. I know you're engaged to Chris and you may not like this but his background isn't good Luce. We looked into it, and we believe he's been hurting you... god I wish you'd told me or I'd have pushed it a bit more. I need you to come round Luce. I can't do this without you". I say playing with her fingers in my hand. All of a sudden I hear machines going off. "CODE BLUE ROOM 93" "REPEAT CODE BLUE ROOM 93". Hundreds of nurses and doctors come rushing,
"sorry sir you can't be in here" he gestured me to leave. I walk back to the waiting room, feeling sick.
"Tim" everyone says in sync.
"She's..erm.. in cardiac arrest.." I say stuttering before falling to my knees.