Chenford - more depth

Chapter 8

Lucy's pov
I arrive at the station, i get this overwhelming feeling of nerves which I've never had. This used to feel like home. Things have changed so much. I get out of my car, grabbing my handbag, i walk in. Keeping my head down as I feel like people are staring. I walk up the stairs round to Greys office. I glance around for a split second and see Nyla and Angela sat their desk, they look and smile. I awkwardly smile back. They gesture me to go over but I ignore it. I see Grey heading from the Roll call room to his office. I thought walking in here, seeing everything and everyone, the way it looked, felt, and smelt that it'd erase the doubts in my mind. Don't get me wrong, yeah everything looks as it was and part me wants to be asking Grey if I can come back. I dread to think Chris reaction to that but also I have changed since the whole Caleb situation and he is right I am weak. No wonder Caleb did what he did.
Besides if I don't do what I'm going to do with Grey it'll ruin where I'm going after here.. I need to do it because otherwise it makes the next situation way too complicated.
"Officer Chen?" Grey asks walking slowly towards her with a confused look
"Sergeant Grey" i look at him
"It's lovely to see you but I wasn't expecting you in today is everything okay?" He says as he opens the office door gesturing for me to enter.
"Yes sir, everything is fine. There's a couple of things that I'd like to discuss with you if that's okay?" I say
"Of course Officer Chen have a seat" he says as he sits down gesturing me to sit down too. I go and sit down. I sit there in the chair looking at him, i feel uneasy which I never with Grey but I brushed it off as though I'm just nervous for what I'm about to tell him.
"Sir there's a couple of things I'd like to discuss but firstly I just wanted to say thank you for everything when I was a rookie, the whole Caleb thing..it erm meant a lot" I say while still managing to look at him.
"Of course Officer Chen, it's been an honour. You really are an outstanding Officer. And you don't need to thank any of us about Caleb we're a family. And damn good one at that" he says giggling to himself about the last comment.
I smile, "Secondly there's something that I need to give you.." I say with a brief pause as I grab my handbag. I place my work belt and off duty weapon on the table before placing my handbag back down. He looks at it puzzled.
" Sir, I have had time to consider things and after recent events I choose to believe it's best I leave with immediate affect. I don't want any follow up questions Sir, I just need to you accept this so I can get on my way". I say unable to maintain eye contact.
"Officer Chen, are you sure about this? You're an outstanding officer, one of the best. The only rookie to have gone Under Cover and successfully brought down not just two members but the leader too. It would be an absolute shame to loose you." He says trying to look at me.
"Thank you Sir, I just need you to accept it. I don't think this is something id like to do going forward." I say to him
"Alright Officer Chen I can't force you but I can keep your job opening for you for 6 months if you change your mind. The door will always be open." He says hoping she will change her mind.
"Respectfully Sir that won't be happening. I also understand that Sergeant Bradford has been coming to my apartment each morning as a check up which I can assume is an order from you. While I appreciated it with me now no longer being an officer id really appreciate it if you could stop that order. Respectfully Sir." I say hoping he understands where I am coming from.
"I have no idea about an order to Sergeant Bradford coming to do checks on you. That was certainly not an order from me. I'm sure that's coming from a place of care which he must have a soft spot for you" he giggles
"Sir I'd like you to ask him to give me space." I say nervously
"Of course I will have that discussion when he comes in today". He says looking at the time.
"Thank you Sir, I must head off but thank you again for everything it was lovely to experience being an officer." I say smiling and getting up.
"It's been lovely seeing you blossom, I wish things were different. I shall have a conversation with Bradford today. You know we will all still be here if you need us. I can't imagine the pain and trauma you went through. I wish you luck in everything that you do going forward. And also congratulations on the engagement!" He says smiling.
"Thank you sir" I say trying to force a smile. I head out of his office and turn to head towards the stairs.
"Officer Chen!" I hear someone shout. I turn round and see Angela running at me.
Grey bobs his head out, "Detective Lopez, as of right now and going forward Lucy is no longer an Officer. She has handed her notice in with immediate affect so you may call her Lucy now" he says before heading back into his office.
"Lucy?" Angela asks worryingly.
"Look just leave it ange" I say turning to walk away but all of a sudden I feel her grab my wrist. Shit. I wince in pain moving my arm back towards myself. The self harm on my wrist was worse than had it been plus it was still fresh, still tender.
Angela pulls back, "shit sorry Lucy, are you okay? You sound in pain with your wrist shall we go take a look at it?" She asks.
"No Ange it's fine. It's just still sore from before" I mean technically I wasn't lying. It was sore from before, I just never specified when. "I need to go" I say quickly before heading out of the station. As i get to the front doors, I keep my head down low. I almost don't see Tim walking past me. Until I hear..
"Lucy.. Officer Chen?" I hear him shout.
I carry on walking straight to my car. I turn back to look and see Grey shouting Tim into his office. I breathe a sigh of relief.

Tim's pov
Id just arrived into the station car park. I see Lucy's car parked up in her usual spot so I park in my usual which coincidentally is next to hers. I wait a few minutes to see if I can catch her coming to her car. Till I receive two messages.
Sergeant Grey: Morning, can you come to my office when you arrive. Thank you.
Worrying, that's never a good sign.
Angela: Okay so don't freak out. I saw her, I tried to gesture her to come talk to me but she ignored me and Nyla and went into Greys Office. They have a discussion. She comes out, I run up shouting Officer Chen. She turns round but then Grey informs me that she's no longer an officer, that she just quit with immediate affect and to call her Lucy. I ask her what's happening and she turned to walk away. I grab her wrist to turn her back to me but she winced in pain. I asked what was wrong but she claimed her wrist was still hurting from before. This isn't good.
Fuck..
i immediately get out of my car and head towards the station doors. I see Lucy, walking down with her head down. She looks like the wind goes right through her. I know this is my only shot. "Lucy.. Officer Chen?" I shout. I know she's not an officer anymore but she always will be to me plus she can't know I know. It wouldn't make sense for me to know. She carries on walking and as I turn to go after her I hear.
"Sergeant Bradford come to the Office" i turn around and see Grey. I head towards Greys office. He opens the door and gestures for me to enter.