Chenford - more depth

Chapter 50

Lucy's pov
We arrived at the station, no one said a word the whole journey. I get out and walk into the station with Angela following behind. Tim just stands at the door of the station.
"Officer Chen! Come with me. Detective Lopez, and Sergeant Bradford follow please" Grey says as he walks into the rollcall room. I follow behind and as i walk in Grey, Nyla, the head of the FBI Natalie and the Captain of the LAPD Martin was all stood together. Fuck. This can't be good. Natalie and Martin don't come to the station randomly, or for any undercover operation. Did I fuck up? Did I push it too far? Shit.
Angela walks in behind me and Tim follows.
"Sir, Ma'am, Captain" I say as I go to stand in front of them.
"Officer Chen, it's a pleasure to meet you" Natalie says smiling.
"Now this is the debrief into the undercover operation that you have just completed as Shanice White in which you brought in Mateo and 5 of his associates, one of the biggest drug cartel leaders EJ and 6 of his associates, £200,000, £200,000 worth of drugs and 15 lethal weapons correct?" Says Martin
"I believe that is correct" i say looking at Grey for confirmation.
"That is correct, she single handedly did this. This wasn't the outcome we went in hoping to get. She exceeded expectations massively and on her first day back." Grey says smiling.
"Chen, I don't think you understand the outcome of this operation that you did. Myself and Martin will tell you that we have attempted to arrest EJ on countless occasions and have failed miserably. You have come in on your first day back and have completed this. Detective Lopez and Detective Harper, I see why you have backed Officer Chen. She is extraordinary." Natalie says smiling.
"She definitely is, I'd have backed out way before, she handled herself so well. I've tried myself to reel in EJ and have failed. So for her to have taken him and two gangs plus the amount of drugs and money and weapons. It's exceptional" Angela says.
"I agree." Nyla replies.
"You should be proud of yourself, I know I am and I know everyone in this station and the people aboveboard are too" Grey says.
Tim doesn't say a word. He just watches in awe, this should be the moment where he is the happiest. And he is. He is happy for her but he can't show that to her due to how they are.
I'm trying not to smile and get embarrassed. I want to appreciate this moment but I feel Tim staring and my minds still going round and round about my parents with what Mateo had said.
"Now Officer Chen, I just want to say we are so thankful of your work on this operation. I also know you completed your detective exam, I have the results and you passed with exceptional results." Martin says.
"Congratulations" everyone says.
"Thank you" i say smiling.
"Now I believe you went a step further and have managed to Mateo to inform you of another plan that he had. That you managed to get him to allow you to run this? Is this correct?" Natalie says.
"Yeah that's correct, 2nd November 2pm. Car dealership Oxford road. £100,000 worth of Coke, and 3 high range lethal weapons" i state.
"That's incredible work, I assume you're going to be going undercover again" Martin asks.
"Yes captain. I'll be going back undercover." I reply.
"Brilliant, I want you to look after yourself and not put too my pressure on that leg of yours." Martin says.
"She's a stubborn one" Grey jokes and Nyla and Angela laugh as they know that's true.
"I do need to ask you two things, we have watched and listened to all of the operation. Now how are you feeling?" Natalie asks.
"I feel fine, just could do with a nice shower and some sleep" i say smiling.
"You will be getting that as soon as we leave. It's understandable if you are shaken by these events, as it would any undercover officer" Natalie replies.
"Im perfectly fine" i say smiling.
"Okay, as long as you know you've got people around you if you need them. Im sure Sergeant Grey would be there for you, and I know you're good friends with Detective Lopez and Detective Harper so you can speak to them. And your partner Sergeant Bradford will of course be there. You live together correct?" Natalie asks.
"I'm aware and as of right now yes that's correct" i reply. That way I'm not lying to them because technically as of right now I am, I just don't know what's to happen with us going forward. If I say things are rocky they aren't going to let me go into this next mission. I can persuade Grey, Harper and Lopez but these not so much.
"Understood. But as I'm sure you're aware personal life can affect you and if they aren't squared away it can make these operations difficult. So any issues that are going on id like them resolved before the next operation. Understood Officer Chen and Sergeant Bradford?" Natalie says firmly.
"Understood ma'am" we both say at the same time.
"Now this other question that we have, is more of a personal one now if you wish for anyone to leave at any point then that's understandable" Martin says.
"Yeah that's fine" i say.
Great. This could be either when I pointed the gun at my head and said I didn't care or it could be that thing Mateo said about my family. I can't lie to them, they're my superiors superior. I can bluff it so I'm not technically lying right. I mean I know Tim and Grey and probs Nyla and Angela are going to ask me once they leave. And then Angela probably will on the way home unless I go with Tim but then he's going to ask. I don't even know the full story of it because was it recorded? Was it posted on this site? Or was this a game and it was just a coincidence the things he said were accurate?
"Actually Martin there's two things we need to discuss" Natalie interrupts him.
Well.. I know it's both parts. Okay breathe I can do this.
"Yeah you're correct my mistake" Martin says as he gestures Natalie to ask.
"As we know the history of your employment here we are aware of the recent cause of your personal leave. So when we was reviewing the footage, you placed the gun to your head saying you was going to shoot and that you didn't care. Now I know this is a touchy subject and it's personal but we need to know if you're okay? Was this how you really felt in that moment? Or how you feel now?" Natalie asks.
"We are all here for you, we just need you to be honest so we can help you" Grey says in a concerning tone.
"I understand how this came across now id assessed the situation and saw how Mateo was looking. I needed to do what I believed my character would do in that situation. She has just informed him that she was using a different name to the police and if they knew her real name it would be the end of her. He needed to know how much of a panic she was in because if not the deal they had just made would come across as though he was the one risking everything while she was not" I say and then I breathe deeply.
"Yeah that makes sense" Martin says.
"Now the other question is again personal so I do apologise. Mateo mentioned your birth mark and then went into some detail about a in quotation marks a sister of yours. He stated how he had seen videos of her being abused to the result of being black and blue, being starved, emotionally and mentally abused, and then forced into certain sexual activities as a child by her parents and her parents friends. That this was all recorded without this persons knowledge. If this is your childhood and these things have happened to you, then you aren't alone. We are here to help you and we can guide you on what to do and how to process it. Or was this his way of trying to trick you to slip up? It's important that you are honest because if he has sussed you or began to suspect you it could blow your cover and put you in a serious and deadly situation in the next undercover operation." Natalie says worriedly.
"We aren't here to judge. We are here to help and to make sure you are safe" Grey says.
"Definitely, we are a family here you know that" Angela says as she looks at me.
I see Tim staring at me, I can see this look of anger in him as he's hearing all of this. I can see how Nyla looks almost sad about it, Grey and Angela look like they're shocked and took back. I start fidgeting with my fingers on my left side so that Tim can't see because I knew if he saw he would know I was lying.
"My cover wasn't blown and won't be blown. I don't have full knowledge on this person he is talking about. But I shall look into it in my spare time as a hobby. I don't believe it is true and that he maybe wanted to play a game to see if I was who I said i was." I say kind of making eye contact but also not.
"Understood. Now congratulations again Officer Chen you was an incredible rookie, fantastic TO and now you're turning into probably the best undercover officer we have. We are very proud of you, and can't wait to see what happens going forward. We are putting your photo up in the hallway as a token of appreciation but also know that if you need anything whether it's about any job or any personal things don't hesitate to contact us." Martin says.
"Thank you. It means a lot and it's appreciated" i say smiling.
"The pleasure is all ours" says Natalie.
"Thank you all for your hard work. Sleep well and stay safe" Natalie says as her and Martin leave.
Grey immediately looks at me.
"Lucy, are you okay? You can be honest with us? Was Mateo saying the truth?" Grey asks. "Look if you don't want to tell me, tell someone. I know you're close to Angela and Nyla so I'm sure they listen to you. And despite what ever is happening between you and Tim he would be there if you needed"
"He's right me and Nyla are here for you" Angela says and Nyla nods in agreement.
"I know and I'm grateful but I'm okay. I just want to have a shower, do some digging and then have an early night" i respond.
"Lu.. you know id be there in heartbeat and I'd do anything for you." Tim says looking at me with these like sad eyes, like he's trying to make me feel bad but I also know he is hurting.
"What's the point in telling you? Youd probably just tell me I took the easy way out right? Like i did when I jumped. That was me taking the easy way out of life, out of what Chris was doing, out of the pain i was feeling. I just gave up and took the easy way out." I snap at him.
"Lucy you know that wasn't what I meant." He says trying to walk towards me.
"Do i though? Because it sure as hell seemed like that's how you meant it. I ain't doing this. I don't even know you anymore.. you've hurt me in ways I didn't think was possible. Now I'm going to go back to yours and have a shower and then stay in the spare room.  I'll pack and be out of the way by tomorrow night when you come home" I snap at him.
"I apologise grey" i say as I leave. I hear Tim shouting me but I just keep walking.