Punks Meet Flower Crowns >> Lashton AU ✔️

87. ~ Afterthought

Dedicated to @musicaloutcast88. You finally said something other than 'next chapter plz' :'D

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Time: 1:08 pm.

Setting: Ashton's Room. Room 151.

Calum: (staring at Ashton who is in bed, wrapped in his blankets, wearing Luke's shirt) You've been in bed all day. Have you eaten yet? (Ashton shakes his head) It's been a couple of days, Ashton. You need to get up.

Ashton: (picks up phone from bedside table, presses a few buttons, hands it to Calum)

Calum: (takes phone, confused) What?

Ashton: Listen.

Calum: (listens to Luke's voicemail, eyebrows furrowed) Wow. Heavy.

Ashton: He went back to him.

Calum: People tend to do that when they have their hearts crushed.

Ashton: (weak, clutching his chest) That's not even what hurts me the most. (sniffles) He said he didn't think he could be friends.

Calum: (sighs, sitting on the bed) Well, the lad did tell you that he wanted to be in a relationship with you. (frowns) Why didn't you say yes when he asked? Why didn't you, at least, try?

Ashton: (wet laugh) Because I'm dumb. I'm scared. I'm a coward. I can't come to terms with anything. (hiccups) I love him but I'm not capable of loving him. Does that make sense?

Calum: It does. (pauses) But I don't think you're incapable of loving him.

Ashton: I'm so scared, just thinking about it makes my heart feel like it's about to burst and kill me. How can I be with someone who does that to me? I'll just keel over and die.

Calum: (quietly) Did you ever think that maybe you feel that way because you like him just as much as he likes you?

Ashton: If I liked him, I wouldn't be so angry.

Calum: I don't think so. Maybe you're angry because you like him. Just because you like someone, doesn't mean you can't be angry. A relationship isn't all hearts and flowers. It's emotions, many different emotions. Not just the ones that feel nice.

Ashton: I haven't felt nice in a long while, Cal.

Calum: (lays down, arm around Ashton's waist, spooning him) It's okay, babe. I'm here.

Ashton: (hiccups) It hurts, Calum. (whimpering) It hurts so bad. I don't know how to make it go away.

Calum: (shushes him) It's alright, babe. Just let it out. Just feel. (hugs him tighter) No one can tell you how to feel. You just do. Just let it out, babe. (Ashton starts sobbing) It's okay, Ashton. It'll all be okay.

QOTD: What does Ashton mean by 'I love him but I'm not capable of loving him'?