Fluff/Sad
Anyways a slight TW there's gonna be talks about like sex addiction cause it is a thing so yeah
Jess
For me sex was always an escape. It was a solution to just about every problem I had.
If I was upset me and Billie had sex, if I was stressed we'd fuck. If I was sad we'd fuck. If I was anxious, happy, annoyed we would always resort to sex.
Billie was just as much and nympho as I was. She loved having sex, and she loved to pleasure me.
Sex made us feel good, obviously, but it also made me forget about whatever was going wrong in my life.
But only for a while and those feelings would just come crawling back.
And I hated it.
Cause then I would lie awake post sex thinking about everything I didn't want to think about.
Sex used to be my go to solution for everything.
Until right now in this very moment.
Billie's fingers were gliding in and out of me as she kissed around my neck. My arms were around her shoulders as I stared blankly at the ceiling.
Now don't get me wrong this felt amazing.
But it was hard to focus on it when my mind was swarming with all these thoughts.
And all I could think about was how badly I wanted her to stop, but I didn't wanna upset her.
I felt hot tears sting my eyes and before I knew it they were rolling down my cheeks as I tried to contain my sobs.
Billie felt me tense and lifted her head up and the second she saw my face her fingers were removed and she quickly grabbed a some tissue from the bedside tables to wipe them off.
"Hey, hey, hey, what happened baby? Are you alright? Do you wanna stop?"
I let out a sigh of relief as I nod my head. "Yes. Please, I can't do this." I cry.
"Okay baby, come here, it's alright. What happened? Did I do something? Did I hurt you?" She asks in a panicked tone as she throws a throw blanket over my body to cover me.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong. It was actually very good. It's me." I say as I pull the blanket over my shoulders, pulling my knees up to my chest.
"What's going on my love? This isn't like you."
"I know. And that's the problem." My voice broke as I got more choked up and Billie stopped me.
"Okay, come here love. Let's get you cleaned up and then we'll have a talk okay?"
I nodded and she picked me up like a bride and carried me into our bathroom where she ran me a nice bubble bath.
"I'm sorry."
"Shh, don't worry love. Everything's gonna be okay, I'm gonna make sure of it. Just try and relax for me okay?"
I nodded my head and she continued to wash me up, humming a small tune as she did so. When she finished got me out, got me moisturized and dressed before she walked me back to our room and on the bed.
She said she didn't wanna rush me or put me on the spot so all she did was hold me until my thoughts consumed my emotions and they started flooding out of my eyes.
"It's alright baby, let it out. I've got you. I am right here and I'm not going anywhere."
"I hate myself Billie. I hate being this way."
