Chapter 4

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Mishal

  A pair of cold grey eyes haunted my dreams all through the night. I couldn't forget the chill that spread throughout my body when I looked into them for the first time. Despite the distance between us, I felt like he was able to see through my soul.

  As a result, I was feeling exhausted on the day of my wedding due to my lack of sleep. The angst and the stress were taking over my nerves. I just wanted to run away somewhere far from all this, where no one could find me. What I wanted had not mattered before and it won't matter now. My wedding to Suleiman was a done deal and there was no out of it for me.

   The whole morning passed in a haze. My Nikah ( Wedding) ceremony was arranged in the afternoon. Aminah had chosen a simple white-colored Anarkali ( Anarkali Salwar suit is a form of women's dress originating from the Indian subcontinent. The Anarkali suit is made up of a long, frock-style top and features a slim fitted bottom)  paired with a red dupatta for the Nikah ceremony.

     Suleiman and I had sat across from each other on the stage with the Qazi ( Judge) in the middle. Our closest family was sitting alongside us. I realized that I was getting married when the Judge asked if I accepted Suleiman Khan as my husband after Suleiman had accepted the Nikah. I spoke the words "I do" in a barely audible whisper thrice and was pronounced as Suleiman's wife.

    Everyone was congratulating us but my mind had completely shut off. Di escorted me back to my room to get me dressed for the Rukhsati ceremony tonight. She hugged me and I broke down in her arms. I was not able to control my crying, it felt like some dam had broken within me and the tears were flowing out from the impact. Mom and Di tried to control my crying by consoling me with the promises of a  future and happily married life. I had just accepted a monster for my husband, how could these fake promises possibly console me?

   Mom started panicking when I didn't stop crying even after an hour of my Nikah. She was worried everyone from both families would think that I was being forced into this marriage. Though it was the truth, they didn't want anyone to know that Abbu had forced me to marry Suleiman. 

   The Rukhsati ("sending off" (sometimes called Doli (ڈولی) - "palanquin") takes place when the groom and bride leave the marriage venue together with the elders of the Family. Before this point the bride and groom will have already been married in the eyes of God by the imam in the nikkah) was arranged on the lawn of the mansion. Only close relatives were part of the celebration today. The Walima reception was to be held in Mumbai after two days for the outside world.

   Aminah had selected a knee-length red top for me with a gold-colored gharara( a pair of loose trousers with pleats below the knee, worn by women from South Asia, typically with a kameez). The dupatta was gold-colored with red borders. The heavyweight of the outfit was wearing me down along with the heavy jewelry.

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