Coder Girl /Dreamwastaken/

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I went through such strong emotions in less than 10 seconds. And none of them were pleasant or healthy in any way. I almost threw my phone at the wall.

lizzil huh? :)

Dreamwastaken exactly :)

I put my phone down for a second to grab some water. I was about to lose it. I think I did, cause halfway through the second sip, I choked on the stupid water.

Relax.

Deep breaths.

lizzil you hacked

lizzil you fucking hacked

Dreamwastaken and what did you do? Start a relationship with george? Lmao

My feelings got too intense and I just started laughing. But that was such a dangerous laugh. Something that felt like came out because

lizzil 😂😂what?

lizzil you fucking hacked his instagram to spy on our texts

lizzil how pathetic are you? Are you okay? You need help

I was just laughing in disbelief. But that laugh was very close to turning into hysterical crying.

I saw him calling and declined it immediately. Then I declined the second call, the third one too.

Dreamwastaken pick up or I'm driving to your house

I read the text and didn't answer.

Dreamwastaken ok

I threw my phone away, thinking if I should just go to one of my friends' places and stay there to avoid him. I probably should.

I know talking is important, but I have no intentions and will to talk to that psychotic idiot.

I quickly texted one of the girls from my friendgroup, the one who lived the closest. She replied immediately saying that she's free and home.

I changed into something more presentable than pajamas and got a small bag of things I needed. It took me 15 minutes to get ready and leave the house.

I didn't think it would take him 15 minutes to get here.

Fuck.

I tried to walk as fast as I could but Clay quickly pulled over with an obnoxious sound that was daring to wake up the whole neighborhood. He got out of the car almost immediately, walking towards me quickly.

"Where do you think you're going?" Clay pulled from my arm, causing my body to turn around and face him.

"Lower your fucking voice," I tried to keep calm, but it wasn't an option, "and don't touch me."

I tried to free my wrist from his grip but he pulled it harder.

"You're toying around with George, aren't you?" If his words didn't sound so absurdly funny to me, I'd actually be intimidated.

"Why don't you hack through our calls and find out? You did it just fine with the messages, go for it again." I chuckled. His eyes got even darker than they were before.

"Don't you dare try to fuck with me." Clay's voice got lower.

"You're fucked up just enough, I don't think you need more of that." I could feel him squeezing my wrist harder and harder with each sentence that left my mouth.

Even if he murders me, I'm not telling him a word from the conversation I had with George. I'm not the one who needs to do explaining. If he thinks I've been toying with both of them at the same time, if he thinks that low of me, then he might aswell try to sleep with those thoughts in his head.

"How could you? I trusted you-"

"Trusted me!?" I laughed, "You fucking spied on my texts, is that what you call trust?"

"I didn't do it because I didn't trust you, I did it to see what George had to say cause I overheard him saying that you two needed to talk in private." The fact that he was acting like what he did was reasonable was driving me insane.

"Listen. Go google "friendship" and read what that shit means. When you're done, google "trust" and educate yourself on that. And lastly, type "privacy" and learn to respect it," my wrist was about to break in his grip, "for now just leave me the fuck alone."

I tried to walk away but he didn't let me. I don't know how he still had things to say after that.

"You and George educated me on them." He sounded sarcastic, "Friendship? That's when you hide things from eachother, right? Trust? What's that? Never even heard of it. And yeah, privacy.. isn't it when you fuck around behind your friend's back and tell him to not stick his nose in what's going on?"

"Noo.. you got it wrong, Clay. Privacy is when you hack your friend's phone to read the things he preferred to keep a secret." 

"Keep what a secret!?" He raised his voice again, "Him messing around with the girl I'm crazy about? Is that what fucking friendship is?"

My thread of thought got completely ripped in half. He didn't just say he's crazy about me. He didn't-

"You're delusional. You're the most toxic and possessive person there ever is. Just let me go." I spoke before he could continue.

Finally freeing my wrist, I tried to walk away, but he spoke again. And I made the mistake of waiting for him to finish.

"You never cared about my feelings."

That hurt me way more than it should have.

"All you did was invalidate them."

He kept going. He kept pulling all the wrong strings.

"All you did was make me scared to express them cause I knew that you'd get scared."

I felt a lump in my throat getting formed with each second passing. Why am I doing this to myself?

"I respected your commitment issues. They fucked me up, completely destroyed me, but I took the hit to keep you around."

The tears were already burning my eyes.

"You knew I had been cheated on. You knew it gave me jealousy and trust issues. But you never even tried to make it a bit easy for me. You did what you wanted to do and you never cared. You never cared about how I felt and what I felt. But guess what-"

"Leave. Me. Alone." My voice broke with the tears streaming down. He rubbed salt on every single wound I had.

"No, no. Listen," he put his fingers under my chin and forced my head up, in the most hateful yet still careful way possible, "do you know what you did to me? You don't cause I didn't do the same to you. But I'll tell you."

I was just sobbing, standing strong on my feet yet sobbing. Trying to be strong while my bottom lip trembled and the burning tears stained my cheeks.

He was about to break me. I wasn't ready.

"I love you. I'm in love with you, Liz. I'm fucking crazy about you-"

"Just stop!" And I broke down. I completely broke down infront of him, "You're manipulative- you're, y-you're fucking toxic!"

And before he could do or say anything, I ran back to my house, locking the door and disappearing in the darkness of my room, not even bothering to turn the lights on.