Seaside, California November 1, 2012
Lillian
YOU know when you tell people you are fine, you should be fine, right? At least, that was what I was saying to everyone and myself. I felt fine, even after being gutted with a kitchen knife.
How the hell could I say I was fine after that?
After we all got home, I still couldn't remember what Isabel had done to me. It was later though when I was alone that it came back in flashes. I guess I had been in shock from the blood loss and forgot what happened.
Images of Isabel's twisted grin as she took joy in slicing through my skin. She began with my wrists and after circling me, satisfied with herself, she finally stabbed me in the abdomen. Then left me there to bleed to death on the floor slowly.
Now I wish I could just forget. But I couldn't. I didn't want to leave this shower and go back to the outside world. I wanted to follow that water down the drain and disappear with it.
"Honey, are you alright?" I heard my mother's concerned voice ask through the door. "You've been in there awhile."
"I'll be out in a minute!" I shouted and shut the water off abruptly.
I was instantly met with a chill when I opened the door to the shower and stepped out. I peered down at my abdomen. Where there should have been a hideous gaping wound, was nothing. Mentally I could still feel the pain, but there was nothing physically.
It was baffling how much vampire blood could heal wounds. I wish it would heal mental ones. I didn't even feel like myself anymore.
I just felt empty.
And hopeless.
"Lily?" I heard Cel ask now.
I snapped my attention to the door and grabbed a towel as that door knob started to turn.
"Yes?" I mumbled, grabbing another towel to wrap my nightmare hair in.
"Sorry, we are just worried about how you are doing after everything," Cel trailed off as she peeked her head into the bathroom.
"I told you I am fine!" I snapped.
"I'm sorry—" Cel began but I stopped her.
"No, do not be sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just," I paused.
Mentally processing almost being murdered? Trying not to completely break down and lose it?
"You have been through a lot of shit tonight," Cel answered for me. "And I cannot express how horrified I am about it, but I understand if you just want to be alone."
I smiled at her sadly. "I know you all are worried, but I know I will get through this. I don't know how long it will take, but you know how I deal with things. I handle it best on my own."
"I know you do, but please don't think you have to deal with this on your own," Cel murmured. "I am always here for you."
"Me too!" I heard Amberly exclaim from behind the door, until she pushed it open, sending Cel stumbling my way.
I caught her with one arm, while the other was holding the towel around me.
"Jesus Amberly, what the hell?" Cel remarked.
"Sorry!" she squeaked.
"Girls, if you would let me have a moment alone with my daughter," my mother sighed.
I saw she was sitting on my bed.
"If it is about the party I will totally take responsibility for it, I helped plan it!" Amberly cried.
Cel rolled her eyes as I started to smile.
"Amberly dear," my mother coaxed and got up from the bed. "I think you should go to the guest room where Elle is and get some rest."
"Yeah, you still seem a little drunk," Cel added.
"Celesta," my mother reprimanded.
Cel just shrugged her shoulders and led Amberly out.
"Do you want me to make you some hot tea?" my mother asked suddenly.
My eyes widened. "Yes, please."
She gave me a grin and then stepped out of the room. I knew she would ask that, whenever she made tea it always calmed me. As I waited for her to come back, I finished getting ready for bed.
By the time she got back, I was in bed with my hair braided and nightgown on. She plopped down beside me and handed me the tea.
I immediately went to drink it but stopped when my mother yelped.
"It's hot!" she warned.
Frowning, I lowered the cup and set it on the bedside table.
"There are some things we need to discuss," my mother began. "First off, your father will be grounding you for the party. I personally do not mind, this house needs to be used for something!"
"Seriously?" I gawked. "I trashed our house, Mom. Plus, we were drinking alcohol!"
"We did that all the time when I was your age," my mother chuckled.
My eyes widened.
"Don't look so surprised honey, none of us were saints," she continued. "Anyway, about whatever is going on between you and Scott—"
"I know it is a bad idea," I began, cutting her off. "He's a vampire, I'm a witch. It would never work out! Not to mention the coven—"
"What I was about to say, was that I want you to be happy," my mother smiled. "I don't care who it is with. Your father however will take a lot of convincing."
I just gaped at her. Why was she so, okay with all of this?
My mother seemed to know what I was thinking. She set her tea beside mine and got up from the side of my bed. She clasped her hands over mine, giving them a light squeeze of reassurance.
"Life is too short to worry about what could go wrong or what others think you should do," she murmured. "Besides, I do not want to imagine what would've happened if Scott didn't get to you guys in time."
I pulled her into a tight hug suddenly, my eyes threatening to water once again. "Thank you, mom, for everything."
She chuckled and tightened the hug. When she released me, she sat back down on the bed and took a sip of her tea.
I finally picked mine back up and drank some of it. It had cooled off slightly. I still winced when I drank it, the heat burning my lip.
"Still too hot?" she teased.
I rolled my eyes in response and sat the cup back on the table.
"There was one more thing I needed to tell you and then you can get some rest," my mother sighed.
"I actually had a question as well," I inquired. "Do we know what happened with Seana?"
"Yes, I will get to that," she replied. "Your father and I rejoined the coven recently, things have been changing and the need for enforcers has grown."
"Is something going on that I should know about?" I questioned.
"No honey, it is nothing to do with the Seana situation," my mother assured. "Besides, Samuel and I only left the coven so that you could have both of us always around for you growing up. You are almost an adult now, you are more than capable of taking care of yourself."
"I wouldn't say that," I mumbled.
I've almost died like what now? A hundred times?
"Do not ever doubt yourself," my mother asserted. "There are situations we cannot control, but I know you can hold your own."
I nodded, but I still didn't think I was capable. At least right now.
"You know Mr. Petrescu, right?" my mother asked.
With another nod from me, she continued.
"A few nights ago, he told us he locked her up somewhere, but we don't know the location. He has been very quiet about it."
"I don't trust him," I chimed in.
"I don't either, but he and Francis have always watched over all of you girls at school, I don't believe he would ever mean you harm," my mother explained. "But as of now, we have nothing to worry about."
"That is nice to hear," I sighed and let out a big yawn.
"I'm going to let you rest, we can finish talking tomorrow alright?" my mother murmured.
As my mother got up from the bed, I felt a strange feeling come over me. That feeling whenever Scott was near. I tensed, knowing I would have to let go of my inhibitions and let myself be happy.
So much doubt ran through my mind. Rejection from my parents was less likely now, my mother was already on board with the idea of me being with Scott. My father would take a lot of convincing.
There was a light knock on the bedroom door, and Cel peeped her head in. "Hey Lily your lover is here to see you," she grinned.
I instantly turned red as my mother smiled at me.
Opening the door wider, Cel looked to her left. "Don't just stand there like a damn statue dude, just go in."
I was about to get up from the bed but Cel literally just forced Scott into my room.
"You two behave, understand?" my mother ordered. "No funny business!"
"Mom!" I shrilled, my face no doubt even redder. I felt absolutely mortified now.
She just gave me a wink and went out the door with Cel, closing it behind them.
Scott peered at the door and shook his head as he laughed to himself.
My face was still flushed with embarrassment as I stared at him. He had changed out of what he was wearing earlier. He finally glanced at me, his blue eyes holding so many emotions in them.
He seemed hesitant to come toward me, almost as if he didn't believe I was really there. I couldn't fathom what was going through his mind when he found me at Isabel's. All I could remember was how wrecked he looked.
"You can sit down you know, I don't bite," I chuckled.
Scott gave me a funny look and sat down next to me. And without saying anything he pulled me into a tight hug and buried his face into my shoulder.
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer, all of the sadness and pain he was feeling flowing into me. I didn't know what to say but to just hold him.
"I shouldn't have left you earlier, if I had been there when Isabel came none of this would've happened," Scott lamented.
"You can't possibly take the blame for what happened tonight Scott," I reasoned.
"I know, but just the thought of something happening to you, and finding you like that—" Scott couldn't even finish his sentence.
I gulped uncomfortably, the memory of Isabel glaring at me with such malice and her stabbing me replayed in my mind.
"Lily?" Scott asked, releasing me from our embrace. He glanced at me, worry showing in his eyes.
I looked down at our hands that had intertwined together without me even realizing it. I gave them a light squeeze of reassurance.
"I know but you got there in time and everything is okay now," I insisted, my tone implying the opposite. "Right?"
Who was I kidding? None of this was fine. Isabel left me to die. The entire room felt like it was moving, but it was just me starting to shake.
"Hey," Scott interjected and wrapped his arms back around me. "Everything is going to be alright, just take some deep breaths."
I started to do as he asked, easing the anxiety attack to subside, but it was easier said than done.
After a few agonizing minutes of attempting to calm down and chugging my now cold tea, Scott decided to bring up something else.
"I heard what you said earlier," Scott murmured.
I set the empty cup down on my table. "What?" I gawked, at a loss. I had said a lot of things earlier, most of them fuzzy since I was wasted.
Scott just gazed at me with the most affectionate look, so much so that it was starting to worry me.
What the hell did I say to him!?
"Scott...?" I trailed off.
His face suddenly fell, "You don't remember do you?"
"Uh—"
He threw his hands up and got up from the bed suddenly and faced away from me. When he turned back around quickly I was expecting a disappointed expression but was instead met by a huge grin.
"I just wanted to say I love you too," he breathed.
My eyes widened in shock as I felt my face flush bright red.
"Oh my God," I yelped. "I—"
I cannot handle this right now!
And then it came back. Flashes of Zach and Cel when they found me on the floor at Isabel's house. Then the last thing I had told Cel before I blacked out.
"You heard that?" I cried.
"Zach called me," Scott murmured and sat back down on the bed. "And after you said that I knew there was no going back."
"This is a lot to take in," I chuckled. "Wonderful timing though, it took me dying for you to finally confess your feelings to me."
"How about we," Scott paused and smiled innocently at me, "Not make that a habit then."
I just gave him a pointed look in return.
"Hey, I'm just saying," Scott put forth.
"Oh stop," I interjected then wrapped my arms around him and leaned against his chest.
I felt him wrap an arm around me and pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head gently. "It's getting late, I don't know how long you want me to stay but you do need to get some rest. It's been hell today for you."
"No kidding," I murmured and finally yawned.
I tilted my head up to look at him, his blue eyes pouring into mine. "Can you stay with me tonight?" I asked.
"Are you sure? I—"
I silenced him by pressing my lips onto his firmly, catching him by surprise. He deepened the kiss. Every nerve in me felt like it had been ignited, having him near me made me forget about everything going on around us.
There was no thought, just the two of us here and now. We were both further on the bed now, with me looming over him, out of breath.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," I whispered breathlessly.
"Don't be sorry," Scott replied. "I'm not."
Then he rolled us over and kissed me and moved down to my neck and collarbone. I didn't know how far we would go with this tonight. A part of me didn't care. All I knew was I wanted this.
I felt Scott stiffen suddenly his blackening eyes snapped to mine, fear in them.
He quickly started to get up and away from me, but just as he was sliding off the bed I wrapped my arms around him from behind, hugging him tightly.
"Lily—" Scott breathed.
"No," I asserted and moved so I was sitting beside him at the edge of the bed. "I know how hard it is for you. Believe me, I do."
He turned to me, his eyes still dark.
Continuing, I rested my hands on each side of his face. "I love you and I trust you. Please don't ever hide from me. Especially what and who you are. I'll love you all the same."
And then I kissed him once more, this time different than the others. I pulled back, only to see those black eyes slowly revert back to a heart-wrenching light blue.
Smiling, he finally let go of everything holding him back.
I was awoken by sunlight pouring through my window. My eyelids felt heavy, as did my entire body. I turned toward my nightstand and lifted my phone, seeing it was already ten in the morning.
How the hell did I sleep so late?
Setting my phone back down, I turned over, only to see a sleeping Scott beside me. He looked so peaceful sleeping.
But then my face suddenly flushed red from what happened last night. And then I realized I was wearing literally nothing.
"Oh my God," I blurted out then rolled out of the bed to find something to put on. In doing so, I got tangled up in my blanket and fell to the floor with a thud. I yanked the rest of the blanket off and wrapped it around me.
I heard Scott suddenly sit up, his head looking for me then he saw me crawling my way toward the bathroom.
"What are you doing?" he inquired groggily, he still had the sheet around him.
I saw our clothes has been thrown in random places on the floor. I got up from the ground, the blanket now cocooned around me.
"Nothing!" I insisted and started to pick up his clothes from the floor and threw them at him. "Put these on! Especially before someone comes in and—"
"Lily stop freaking out!" Scott laughed, "Besides everyone is downstairs, I can hear them in the kitchen."
"Whatever! Just get dressed!" I squealed, then ran into my closet and grabbed something then ran to the bathroom.
Once I was in something presentable and my hair tamed, I stepped back into my room. A now-clothed Scott sat at the edge of the bed looking at me apologetically.
"Are you okay now?" he asked.
"Yes, and what happened last night stays between us, got it!" I demanded. "My parents will freak out if they knew you stayed last night!"
"Your mother actually peeked her head in this morning and saw me so..." Scott trailed off. "She even winked at me before she closed the door back."
"Oh my God," I said again, this time I felt like I was going to pass out. How could I ever look at my mother again?!
Scott got up and wrapped his arms around me. "Why don't we go downstairs and get you some breakfast?"
I started shaking my head, but Scott ignored my protests and led me downstairs.
When we got into the kitchen, Elle was sitting at the counter, my mother busy preparing coffee and what appeared to be omelets.
"Good morning you two," my mother beamed at us. "Did you sleep well honey?" this time directed at me.
My face turned even redder. My breath was caught in my throat.
"Uh yeah, totally," I coughed out finally.
My mother looked from me to Scott, "How about you?"
"You know," Scott grinned, "Like the dead."
Elle started to laugh but hid it behind a fake cough.
"Well I slept like shit," she chimed in.
My mother sighed then took the cup sitting in front of Elle and filled it with more coffee. "Hangovers will do that to you, drink some more of this."
"So are you sure you won't tell Mom?" Elle asked my mother.
"What people do is none of my business, it was a personal choice," my mother sighed.
Well, I hoped she felt that way about me and Scott having that last night.
I couldn't even say it aloud or think about it. What would my father say if he found out I had sex last night?!
"Besides," my mother continued snapping me out of my thoughts, "I don't think you'll be doing it again will you?"
"Oh hell no," Elle mumbled as she rubbed the side of her temple.
Mom smiled and gave me another wink before turning around to her omelets.
I pulled a stool out and sat beside Elle at the counter, Scott taking the one to my left.
Elle glanced over at the two of us, her eyes were bloodshot as hell. "Oh I forgot today was the first," Elle went on. "Happy birthday!"
"What?" I shrieked and snapped my head to Scott. "It's your birthday?!"
How the fuck did I not realize it myself?! I knew when it was! We had just been so caught up with everything these past few weeks.
"Lily—"
"No!" I shouted, interrupting him. "I have to plan something!"
"I think you need to eat something first honey," my mother coaxed and put a plate in front of me.
I felt my body wanting to get up and do something. Planning birthdays and celebrations was literally my livelihood. Especially since it was Scott's, I had to do something!
I felt Scott rest a hand on my shoulder, "Look, we have all day for you to plan something, or we can just leave and go spend the day somewhere together."
I smiled at him, "Sounds like a plan."
And realizing I was actually starving to death, I finally ate the omelet.
Then four more after that.
WHEN he said he wanted to get away for the day, he truly meant away. We had taken his car somewhere up north, where the coast was nothing but tall cliffs. It was beautiful, to say the least, but I still wanted to plan an entire birthday party later.
We talked for hours. Talking about our childhoods, among other random topics. I did learn that he had a fear of spiders, so I was definitely going to play a prank on him sometime soon.
I told him I had a fear of knives now. He didn't find that funny when I joked about it.
As we were walking hand and hand on a pathway that was on the edge of the cliffs, I needed to ask him about this strange pull we had toward one another. We came upon a bench, and after walking for what seemed like thousands of years, I sat my happy ass down.
The roar of the waves crashing on the cliffsides was peaceful. It was cloudy and chillier here up north. He had his arm resting behind me on the bench, the other clasped between both of mine. We sat there for a time in silence, just enjoying the view.
"Scott?" I finally asked, snapping him out of his reverie. "This is going to sound strange, but ever since homecoming, I've felt this strange pull, and it always leads me to you. It sounds crazy I know but—"
"You aren't crazy," he interjected. "It's because we blood shared."
I gawked at him. "Oh, so that's why."
Scott looked away from me. I felt remorse flow through me, but it wasn't my emotions. Realizing I was seeping into Scott's mind unintentionally, I let his hand go.
"It will wear off soon, give it another week or so," Scott muttered. "I should've known it would happen, I felt the same pull."
"It isn't a bad feeling," I implied, trying to make Scott feel less uncomfortable about the subject.
I know he still hated himself for what he had done.
"It still should not have happened," Scott remarked.
I looked away from him and out toward the sea. I wish he would forgive himself, but I knew it would take time.
He grabbed my hand again, giving it a squeeze of reassurance. "So about that party..."
I turned to him, grinning from ear to ear.
"Careful what you ask for, you do not know the extent of how far I will go," I teased.
"I've seen what you did for the Homecoming dance, I can only imagine how insane your birthday parties are," Scott laughed.
Laughing along with him, he had no idea what was in store for him tonight.