anOther instagram chapter ;) and i know instagram captions can't be this long but just go w it okay
•••
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tagged: corbynbesson
seaveydaniel: '2019 and 2020 has been a roller coaster for me and the boys. and, believe it or not, christina. me personally, i was depressed. which, most of you could tell with the underage drinking. i figured that was my escape since my family and i weren't seeing eye to eye. i have permission to share this from corbyn and christina, but me and corbyn were pretty much fuck buddies during the first leg of tour, and it was breaking my heart everyday because corbyn and christina were still dating. eventually, corbyn told her, and like the amazing person she is, she didn't "expose" corbyn. she handled it maturely and i love her for that. so, backtracking a few weeks into the tour, we met an amazing little girl morgan. (keep her in mind!) she had an older brother, who we'll call.. blue
i thought blue was the most amazing person ever. he was sweet and caring and attractive. so while i thought corbyn was still dating christina (because he's an asshole and didn't tell me that he had broken up with her until the first leg was over) i decided to date blue.
worst mistake ever.
while i was first talking to him, i figured out i was pregnant with corbyn's child. i never had sex with anyone else except him. i told bryana first, she was amazing and is now our baby's godmother and then i told blue.
he didn't take it very well. now, i told him when we were dating. he wasn't too fond of it so i left the house he was staying at. morgan, she came downstairs looking like a mess for a 5 year old girl. blue told me that she was staying with their mom in new york. and i should have done something right then and there because it was very clear that he was abusing her. but i left.
so moving on, i got in a fight with anna, and i had it. my family wasn't being very supportive except for ty and christian. i went to the band house, and stayed there. a few days later, blue apologized, and took me out to a club. i was only 2 weeks sober, and because i was drinking before i knew i was pregnant, my child was in danger of FAS. blue forced me to drink, but luckily, the bartender made me an alcohol free drink. so, the boys noticed my behavior. i was acting strange. so they stuck me into therapy, which was probably the best thing that they could have done for me. my therapist was amazing, and she told me to tell my mom that i was pregnant, even though we were fighting. i did. i went to the rental house we were staying at in hawaii, and told her. which is when corbyn heard. i know. i didn't tell him right away. call me stupid, but i couldn't because we were fighting. he was shocked. he told me that he wanted to be there for me and the baby, he loved me, and he wanted to be in our baby's life, but he couldn't because blue hated him.
moving on again. even though blue wasn't touring with us, he was becoming abusive even if he was in new york, which is where he is originally from. i ignored it. i was never in an abusive relationship. we barely touched on the topic in school, and i didn't research it, so i didn't know. i didn't see the red flags.
so when we went to japan, blue and a few of his friends flew out there. i was a month pregnant at the time. he took me out to another club and humiliated me in front of his friends. i remember going back to my bunk with a new bruise. i remember corbyn checking up on me and flinching so hard, that it scared me and him.
it got to the point where i didn't want to leave my bed— where i didn't want to preform and do the thing i love most which is sing for everyone. i couldn't do it. i had no energy, no motivation. the only thing that seemed right was to kill myself.
once we got back from japan we had a small break. so i went to la because he was visiting again for work or something. i went to his house to break it off even though i was completely terrified. i was 14 weeks at the time. i got to his house and the door was open a crack. so i went in and so the most heartbreaking sight. morgan, the most precious little girl, getting hit after hit after hit by her older brother. the man who is supposed to love and protect his little sister was not only abusing me, but her.
i tore him off of her and of course was a mistake. he beat me black and blue. he eventually stopped. he went outside to answer a call, so i grabbed morgan and ran to the tour bus.
so now, me and the boys were once again fighting because of blue. so we weren't really talking. corbyn promised me that he would always answer, even if we were in a fight. so there i was, locked in the bathroom with a scared morgan on my lap. i was trying to reach corbyn, but he wasn't answering.
until he did because his mom told him to.
(thank god for saskia 🥺 queen)
anyway, the boys came, blue got arrested, my back was fractured as well as my skull, we're adopted morgan, so she'll be morgan besson, because i, am not taking my last name. our baby was born january 7th, 2020. his name is alex seth besson. he has FAS, but he is the most special baby in the world and i just adore him.
i went to go visit blue yesterday, actually. turns out, his name is not what we though, and he's morgan's biological father. of course, i had a breakdown while talking to him,
i never thought i would meet the love of my life through all of this. i had a huge crush on corbyn, yes, but all those thoughts went away when blue rolled around, but once that thing was gone, my eyes opened and i saw corbyn. anyway, that's my sob story. i love you corbyn, and i can't wait for our future together 🖤🖤
AND DONT GO HATING ON CORBYN ILL FIGHT'
andrewgriffin: you know what. fuck you for making me feel this way 😭😭
— seaveydaniel: sorry bubs :')
corbynbesson: fuck i love you baby boy
— seaveydaniel: i love you too baby
bessonsthirdnipple: anyone who called daniel an alcoholic = 🤡🤡🤡
— corbynbesson: i do NOT have a third nipple what-
beautychickee: i'm so proud of u dani 🥺🤩
— seaveydaniel: i love you!! you're gonna be an amazing aunt to morgan ((:
jackaverymusic: i guess this is a good time to say it, lol, so i'm pregnant with zach's kid 😌✋🏼
(liked by imzachherron)
(view 34828 other comments)
—imzachherron: LMAO HES JUST FUCKIN WITH YALL
—jackaverymusic: gET THE HINT ASSHOLE 😡✋🏼
jonahmarais: i'm proud of you both :) you guys deserve the world
— seaveydaniel: i love you godfather jo 🖤
— corbynbesson: come here so i can give you a hug jojo
bryanasalaz: i LOVE LOVE you
—seaveydaniel: i LOVE LOVE u!
gabbiegonzalez: i'm gonna BEAT THE FUCK outta eddie brb!
—seaveydaniel: no! my children need their aunt >:(
ebenoffical: can i just say that ALEX IS ADORABLE LIKE FUCK
—seaveydaniel: ur a qt
— jonahmarais: damn right he is !
seaveylove: did u and anna ever get your relationship fixed?
—seaveydaniel: no and we probably never will, unfortunately. i'll do a live stream explaining everything with my family later 🖤
herronsclub: okay wait. if corbyn cheated on our girl christina, won't he most likely cheat on daniel or-
—corbynbesson: no
—beautychickee: if he cheated on daniel i would beat his ass
—seaveydaniel: well there's your answer
•••
liked by: seaveydaniel, imzachherron and 527,388 others
tagged: seaveydaniel
corbynbesson: loml tingz 🥰💞🤩😳🤘🏼
anyway, daniel is one of the strongest people i've ever met. between being pregnant, his family hating him, battling depression, his drinking problem and an abusive relationship, you can't change my mind. i have so much love for this boy, it's insane! he makes me so happy. waiting was worth it, but i also hated seeing him in pain and not knowing what to do. i love you and our two children.
this world, the people in this world, me and the boys included, have made your life so much harder then it needed to be. and i'll never forgive myself for this shit i put you through, for the shit i've said to you. what i should have said, is
i love you.
daniel james seavey, you are my other half. you are the love of my life, and i can't wait for what the future holds with us, and with our children 🖤
andrewgriffin: WHAG THR FUCK WHY FO U DICKS MAKE ME EMOTIONAL
—corbynbesson: you probably deserve it
—andrewgriffin: u bitch
beautychickee: i love you both it's crazy 🤩
—corbynbesson: we love u more >:(
seaveydaniel: stop i'm crying ):
— corbynbesson: other way my love
— seaveydaniel: :(
jackaverymusic: i shipped since day one so i beat all you fuckers 🤪
— corbynbesson: no comment
imzachherron: love u bro 😌✌🏼
—corbynbesson: love u more 🥶✌🏼
jonahmarais: dude. that's pretty gay 🤣🤣
—corbynbesson: ...that's cause we are?
happyangi: i love u guys 🥺 and dorbyn is trending on twitter lmao
— seaveydaniel: i love u more!! and i miss u babe 🥺💘
gabbiegonzalez: babies 🥺
— corbynbesson: ur baby 🥺💘
•••
swipe..
liked by: corbynbesson, seaveydaniel, and 582,599 others
tagged: corbynbesson, seaveydaniel, jonahmarais, ebenoffical
whydontwemusic: now y'all know why we canceled tour til february:) these two FUCKED and daniel popped a baby out. and, also, he was like. in an abusive relationship 🥺 but let's not talk about that dick. ever again. 😗👍🏼
~and~ jeben's real :) we're the gayest band
anyway, go watch the vlog we posted on youtube 🤘🏼
seaveydaniel: was a good fuck(s)🤷♂️
— corbynbesson: what happens to a G rated band 😭😭
jackaverymusic: hey guys!!!!!! me and zach broke up cause he's not giving me a kid
— imzachherron: oh shut your dramatic ass UP and let me cuddle you
— corbynbesson: just give the dude what he wants-
— imzachherron: you aRENT HELPING
wdwtearoom: YALL DORBYNJACHARYANDJEBEN HOLY SHIT
ebenofficial: jonah's my baby 🥰💘
— jonahmarais: :]
tatedoll: aH all my babies ! jachary post a picture now so i can comment u diks
— imzachherron: yes mom
jonahmarais: hmm wonder who wrote that 🤔
—seaveydaniel: we will never find out 🤷♂️🤷♂️
wdwthegayband: HAHAH YALL SAID FUCKED
jackbottomslol: zach give jack a baby (that means, go fuck!!!!!!!!)
— imzachherron: aren't you like 12-
jackaverymusic: we may be cuddling but that doesn't mean i forgive u bitchass
— imzachherron: oh my god shut up and i'll fuck you
•••
"morgan love! come here please!" corbyn shouted from alex's room. daniel was changing alex's diaper before his nap.
morgan came skipping in, jumping into corbyn's arms. he caught her with ease.
alex was changed, so daniel threw out the dirty diaper and picked his baby back up. he was gently rocking him, trying to lull him to sleep.
"so, as you know, dani and i went to visit him the other day. honey, because he's still technically your legal guardian, we wanted to make sure he was okay with it, but we wanted to adopt you. we still do, but we have to go through a whole bunch of legal things, so that does mean you'll most likely see him again. is that okay?"
"so.. so you and dani will be my new parents?" she asked innocently. daniel set alex down on his back in his crib and smiled.
"yeah, love." he stood next to corbyn and kissed her warm forehead. she giggled happily, and threw her arms around corbyn's neck. she hugged daniel after, and ran off happily.
they both looked at each other. daniel beamed, and wrapped his arms around corbyn's neck. the two swayed gently, feeling nothing but love.
•••
daniel finally showed the world alex on instagram live. he had corbyn's permission to do so. alex was messing around on their bed, while daniel was just reading comments.
"i wrote a song. um.. it's.. it's definitely something. i wrote it while i was pregnant with alex. and i want to sing it for you guys so." daniel shrugged, and picked alex up from the bed. he kissed his baby's forehead, and set him down. the lights were dimmed, but you could still see daniel.
daniel brought his keyboard closer to him, and set his phone down so you could see his upper half of his body and his hands.
"i'm just gonna wait for a few more people to join." he said softly, picking alex back up. the three month boy was squirming around in daniel's arms.
"i know you want daddy. but he's in the shower, love." daniel said quietly to him. alex giggled, and pinched daniels cheek. "okay." he set alex back down and looked at the comments. "the ugliest baby i've ever seen." he read out loud. he chuckled. "look in the mirror kid."
daniel exhaled slowly, and turned his keyboard on. he started playing a few chords and blinked away any stray tears.
I got no excuses
For all of these goodbyes
Call me when it's over
'Cause I'm dying inside
Wake me when the shakes are gone
And the cold sweats disappear
Call me when it's over
And myself has reappeared
daniel bit his lip, and moved on. alex was busy with a few toys on the bed.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why
I do it every, every, every time
It's only when I'm lonely
Sometimes I just wanna cave
And I don't wanna fight
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
Just hold me, I'm lonely
corbyn leaned against the bathroom door, listening to his boyfriend sing. he was wearing daniels sweater and some sweats. he wanted to do nothing more then just hold his love.
Momma, I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore
And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor
To the ones who never left me
We've been down this road before
I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore
tears soaked daniels face. his voice was shaky, and paused for a minute. he regained himself, and cleared his throat. corbyn covered his mouth, tears stinging his eyes.
I'm sorry to my future love
For the man that left my bed
For making love the way I saved for you inside my head
And I'm sorry for the fans I lost
Who watched me fall again
I wanna be a role model
But I'm only human
fuck jackson. fuck the idea of him, fuck the abusive dick who ruined daniel, and his soon to be daughters life. fuck. jackson.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know why
I do it every, every, every time
It's only when I'm lonely
Sometimes I just wanna cave
And I don't wanna fight
I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
Just hold me, I'm lonely
Momma, I'm so sorry I'm not sober anymore
And daddy, please forgive me for the drinks spilled on the floor
To the ones who never left me
We've been down this road before
I'm so sorry, I'm not sober anymore
I'm not sober anymore
daniel looked up at the camera, quickly looking back down to continue.
I'm sorry that I'm here again
I promise I'll get help
It wasn't my intention
I'm sorry to myself
he let the note ring out. he dropped his hands, and wiped them on his jeans. he looked back up and smiled awkwardly.
"that was beautiful, daniel."
the blonde looked over at his boyfriend, walking out of the bathroom. corbyn picked alex up and set him on his bouncy chair in their room.
he sat down next to daniel, wiping the tears off his cheeks. corbyn looked at him with fond, and gently kissed his soft lips. which did cause everyone on the live stream to freak out.
daniel smiled small, and leaned against corbyn. "are you okay, bubba?"
he shrugged. "just a little sad." he whispered, smiling when corbyn kissed his head. "i'll be okay." he said, kissing corbyn's neck. "i have you by my side now."
"...dani?"
daniel looked over at his door, and smiled at morgan. "hey baby."
corbyn as well, looked over at the door and a grin appeared when he saw the five year old. she walked over to the bed, and let corbyn pick her up.
"can i sleep over at uncle jack's house?"
"sure, princess. i'll call him." corbyn said to daniel, handing morgan over to him. corbyn left the room, and daniel picked his phone up.
the fans were still talking about the song, some questioning who the girl was, and if she was morgan. he smiled, and set her on the center of the bed, picking alex up from the bouncy chair, and brought him over to the bed as well.
"okay well. that's all, i just wanted you guys to hear that song. be safe, bye."
he ended the live stream, and turned on the television for his children. corbyn came in a few seconds later. "he's going to pick you up, baby. let's go pack a bag, yeah?"
daniel smiled when morgan hugged him, before running off with corbyn.
•••
"goodnight, peanut."
daniel left alex's room, and went to the kitchen. corbyn was in the living room watching criminal minds. daniel grabbed a glass, and the wine from the counter.
corbyn twisted his head to look at his boyfriend, his eyes softened when he saw daniel staring at the nearly black bottle full of red wine.
he muted his show, and got up. daniel was close to tears. corbyn cautiously touched daniels hand. "you're not okay."
daniel shook his head and let out a laugh. "i'm not."
corbyn smiled sympathetically, and pulled him into a tight hug. daniel stuffed his face in the crook of his neck, letting out shaky exhales.
"there are other ways of distracting yourself. alcohol isn't the only option, love."
"like what?" he asked stuffy. corbyn kissed his shoulder, and pulled away from daniel. his eyes were now puffy, and he was dabbing his face off with his sleeves.
corbyn pulled his phone out, and went to spotify. he searched up 'slow dance.' and clicked on a playlist.
daniel laughed, and shook his head when a nat king cole song came on. corbyn turned the lights off, the only thing lighting up the room was the television.
'when i fall in love' was playing from his phone. corbyn wrapped his arms around his waist, daniel looping them around his neck.
"you're beautiful." corbyn whispered, kissing his neck. daniel shut his eyes, and tangled his fingers in corbyns soft hair, letting him control the dancing.
they swayed for a few songs, daniel now completely relaxed, his mind drifted off to his beautiful and amazing boyfriend. his amazing friends, and his lovely children.
corbyn gladly held onto daniel, he let daniel decide when he wanted to stop. which, wasn't for a while.
daniel suddenly pulled away after the tenth song of them just enjoying themselves. he had a small smile placed on his lips.
"i love you." he sighed, leaning forward to kiss corbyn on his lips. corbyn smiled, and pulled him closer to his body.
"i love you too. so so much."
daniel bit his lip, containing the large smile that would have broken out.
they heard alex's cries. they both chuckled. "i'll get him." corbyn said softly, kissing him one more time before leaving daniel.
the blue eyed boy turned the music off and put the bottle of wine away without a second thought.
•••
daniel woke up in the middle of the night to crying. he tore himself off of corbyn, and rubbed his eyes as he walked down the hall to alex's nursery.
he opened the door quietly and walked over to the crib. he picked his baby up and held him close to his chest. he turned on the lamp and sat down on the rocking chair, patting his back gently.
alex was still crying, daniel only kissing his forehead. "i get sad too, baby." he said to alex. "i get sad a lot. maybe i'll tell you one day why. but if it wasn't for your father and uncles, neither you or i would be here today." he said, rocking on the chair.
alex calmed down at the sound of daniel's voice. he soon fell asleep in his arms, letting small puffs of air out.
"is that true? you wanted to kill yourself?"
daniel sighed and looked over at the door where corbyn was. he stood up and gently laid alex down on his crib.
"yep." he mumbled. "every damn day."
•••
[a/n]
oh how the angst is resurfacing 😳🤘🏼 anyway, go listen to sober by demi lovato and it'll all make sense :)