Mia’s Pov.
(Three days later)
It’s been a few days since I was released from the hospital, and I can’t explain how much I enjoy being home. I know that I was only in hospital for a couple of days but there’s nothing like your own comfy bed is there?
Harry has been perfect…probably over the top if I’m honest. It’s not that I’m complaining but he won’t let me do anything around the house. I suppose that he is just being caring but it’s not like I can’t do anything. Bless him he does try.
“I’m going to make myself a cuppa, do you want one babe?” Just as I’m about to stand, Harry pushes me back to the sofa.
“I’ll get them.” He grins.
“Harry, I’m pretty sure that I can handle making the both of us a cup of tea.”
“Yes I’m sure you could but the doctor told you to rest, and by jumping up and down that isn’t resting, is it? So you will sit there and relax.” He towers over me, kissing the top of my forehead.
“But Harry…” I whine.
“No buts. I will be your personal slave. You can just pay me back in the bedroom.” He smirks, looking into my eyes.
“Oh no I won’t.” I grin back.
“What do you mean? I’m pretty sure that the doctor said that I have to pleasure you, and that’s what I know that you like best.” He bites his lip, with his body still towering over mine.
I knew that Harry would have taken it the wrong way when the doctor told him to pleasure me.
“I’m pregnant Harry.” I laugh.
“So that doesn’t stop our sexually active life does it? I could carry you upstairs and fuck you right now.” His finger strokes up and down my thigh, making the muscles in my upper leg tighten.
“See I know where to touch you right baby.” He whispers.
I want him so bad right now! I don’t know where to laugh or cry. I want to laugh for the simple reason that Harry makes me laugh but I want to cry because I know that I can’t have him. Well I could but I feel that it is wrong for our baby.
“Harry stop.” I grab his hand holding it away from my upper thigh.
“I know that you want me Mia.” His warm, minty breath fans over my face.
Don’t do this to me. This is pure torture!
“It’s so wrong whilst I’m pregnant.” I giggle.
“It’s not hurting the baby is it. It’s just giving you and I the pleasure that we need.” He kisses my collar bone. Moving from the left to the right of my neck.
“No that’s my final decision Styles.” Pushing his head back up with my hands, his eyes meet mine.
“So that’s going to be your decision for the next seven plus months?” He raises his eyebrows not believing me.
“Yes, I can stick my ground at time.” I’m trying not to laugh right now but I’m finding it extremely hard not to.
“Right I’ll see about that. I will just have to pleasure you in other ways then won’t I?” He smirks.
Harry’s body is still towering mine, skimming it by an inch. I really don’t know how he holds himself in such an awkward position for so long with just one hand. I would have fallen by now…I suppose that shows how weak I am.
The muscles and vines in Harry’s arms are so attractive right now. I don’t know how he is so muscular because he definitely hasn’t been to the gym in a long time. In fact I can’t even remember the last time he went to the gym.
“When you say pleasure me, what way do you mean Harry because I know you too well.” I raise my eyebrows.
“Uch. Whatever you are thinking of in that dirty head of yours can be stopped right now. I’m not sexually activated like that Mia. You disgust me sometimes.” He jokes as I swat his arm. “Well I thought of taking you out today and for lunch tonight.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s what the doctor meant in the first place.” I laugh.
“Don’t try and change the conversation now, you horny devil.” Does this boy ever stop?
“Shut up Harry.”
“You’ve gone red Mia Ann-Leigh.” His finger strokes my hot cheek.
“Because of you.”
“Did I embarrass you?” He stares at me with amusement appearing high across his face.
“Stop. Come on then if we are going out we need to leave.” I suppose my cup of tea has flown out of the window.
“Who said I was taking you out?” I’m sure that he is trying to wind me up today.
“You should never mess with a woman whilst she is pregnant because there hormones are all over the place.” I try and keep a serious face.
“Oh are you really going to use that one against me?” His eyes widen, with a grin plastering across face.
“Maybe.” I smirk.
“Oh maybe. Really now?” He leans down to connect our lips.
Our mouths move rhythmically with one another’s, the pace romantic and slow. His tongue runs across my bottom lip, begging for entrance to my mouth which I allow.
*Ring. Ring. Ring.*
I hear the ringing on the table, the vibration making it sound much louder.
“Leave it.” Harry pulls away for a second to say his words but then connects our lips again.
“No.” I pull away pecking his lips one last time. “It could be Max.”
“Urgh.” He moans as I hit his arms for him to move them. He collapses by the side of me on the sofa, a si reach for the phone.
“Hello?” I say suspiciously, not recognising the number.
“Hello. Mia?” A sweet voice sounds.
“Yes, speaking who is this please?” I ask.
“I’m calling from the care centre. I’m Lola, I look after your mother.” Her voice sounds through the phone.
“What’s happened? What’s wrong? Is she okay?” Suddenly I panic.
“Yes lovey, your mother is absolutely fine. She wanted me to ask you if you could come and see her.”
“Erm…ye…yes.” I clear my throat. “Yes, of course.”
“Oh that’s wonderful. She will be so made up to see you. Shell we say around two o’clock?” What it is one o’clock now?
“Okay. Yes that should be fine.” What else am I supposed to say?
“Great. See you then.” With that said, the line goes dead.
I place my phone back down on the table, not knowing where to look.
“Babe who was that?” Harry asks.
“My m…mm…mums nurse.” I gulp.
“Is your mum okay?”
“Yes apparently she’s fine.” I still don’t look at him.
“Okay, so what’s the problem then?” He wonders.
“She wants to see me…today.” I gulp.
“Oh come here you big softy.” Pulling on my waist, I fall down onto his lap.
“I haven’t seen her for so long Harry. I’m kind of scared.” I lean my head against his chest.
“Don’t be scared. She must be better if she is asking for you babe.” He says.
“But the last time I saw her, she was mentally ill Harry. I don’t want to see her in that mess again. I know that I caused her to a mental illness. I don’t want to cause it her again Harry.” The lump in my throat grows.
“No, no, no. You did not cause anything Mia. Your mum was a poorly woman and needed medical help. Not you or anybody else could have helped her. That is why she needed to be sent to a home okay. So do not blame yourself.” He is so perfect with me.
“But I don’t want to upset her again. The nurses and myself agreed that I would stop seeing her until the time was right.” How do I know that the time is right now? The truth is I don’t.
“Well if your mum is asking for you Mia, she must feel better in herself. And if the nurses are allowing it, she definitely is on the road to recovery.” He smiles at me.
“But…”
“No buts Mia. So come on tell me when you have to visit her.” Harry says.
“At two.” I look at the clock knowing we have less than an hour to get there.
“What? As in two today?”
“Yeah.” I sigh.
“Well we best get a move on Mia. Come on.” He taps my sides, to ease me up off his lap.
“Harry.” I turn to him.
“Yes babe?”
“Will you come in with me? I don’t think I could face going to see her alone.” Is it bad that I feel as if I can’t sit alone with my own mum? I’m such a disgrace.
“I was sticking with you all of the way anyway. Come on we really need to get on track.” He smiles before taking my hand and leading me out the door.
Should I be scared? Should I be feeling sick? Should I be worried? Should I be happy? Should I be feeling any of this?
How can I be so stupid, I’m talking about my own mother here! A wonderful woman who has brought me up. A woman who has always been by my side. A woman who would wipe away my tears. A woman who in the end blamed me. A woman who in the end caused my tears. A Woman who got lost in her own mind. A woman who changed.
That is the problem you see. My mum changed. I saw her change every day since Ben’s death and it was horrible. I was the one who was there to witness her highs and lows and her smiles and blows. She used to be so happy and then one day she blew. It was like the weather changing form a beautiful sun to a furious, outrageous storm. Most of the times, I was the unlucky person who got caught between the storm, which sometimes blew hell out of me.
Each day it got tougher and tougher because I know that she blames me for Ben’s death. Damn I still blame myself daily but there’s nobody else to blame but myself.
The last time I saw my mother she was in desperate need for some help. I didn’t want to believe it but deep down I knew she was changing. Nobody wants to believe that they can’t control their own mother and that she needs help. I hate even thinking of it.
How will she react when she sees me? Will she be back to normal? Will seeing me make her go back downhill? Will seeing me remind her of Ben? Will seeing me make her stronger?
I feel so bad for thinking these things of my own flesh and blood but I just can’t help it.
“Babe stop worrying” Harry’s left hand makes it way over to my knee, rubbing up and down.
“I’m not.” I lie.
“Tell me the truth.” His eyes don’t remove off the road.
“I am.”
“Don’t lie to me, I know you to well Mia. Why are you worrying?” He asks again.
“It’s just that I haven’t seen her for such a long time. I don’t know how she is going to react. I’m scared of giving her a set back of her recovery. I would hate to be blamed for that too.” I sigh.
“What do you mean, and for that too? You better not be referring to Ben’s death Mia because you know what I have told you about that.” His tone of voice is dark…serious even.
“I can’t help it Harry. You know that.” I bet that he sees the guilt in my eyes every day.
“I hate having to be firm with you Mia, you know that. But you have to STOP blaming yourself. I mean it Mia!” The ‘stop’ in his sentence stands out a whole lot clearer than the rest of his sentence.
“I’m trying but it’s hard.”
Harry sighs. “I know babe, but it kills me knowing that you blame yourself.”
“Like I said, I’m trying that’s all I can do.” I place my hand on top of his.
“Good. Try harder.” He smiles, lacing or fingers.
***
We arrive at the home, just before two o’clock. Lucky!
Just as I’m about to open the door, the whole of my body freezes. What am I doing?
‘It’s your fault your own mother is in the place. You caused her illnesses. You. Only you.’ My conscious tortures me.
“Babe come on.” I hear Harry say but don’t turn around to look at him.
I don’t want to go in. I don’t know what but something is stopping me.
Before I know it, Harry has walked around the car and opened the door for me.
“Mia come on. Your mum will be waiting for us.” I can feel his eyes burning into me.
“Harry I don’t…”
“No excuses Mia. I will be with you every step of the way. You need to do this not just for your mum but also for yourself.” He cuts across.
Harry is right. I need to do this for myself.
“Okay.” I silently speak.
“Good, now get a move on.” He holds out his hand for me to take it has I stand up out of the car.
Walking into the rather large building, we walk up to the reception area.
“Hello, can I help?” A woman lifts her head up from the pile of paper work.
“I’m here for a meeting at two with Lola. I’ve came to see my mum.” I don’t think it is really a meeting if I’m honest.
“Oh yes, is it Mia?” She asks. Hold on how does she know my name?
“Yes.” I nod.
“We’ve heard a lot about you Mia. Follow me.” She stands from the desk and walks around greeting us both with a smile.
I hate it when people say that because I never know if they have heard good or bad news about me. It really puts me on edge. Why do people have to say that?
As we follow the nurse down a million hall, a maze that’s never ending we finally reach our point.
“Lola.” She knocks on a room door.
A young, smiling girl walks out of the room. She is pretty but reminds me of a Barbie doll. She has long, blonde hair, bright pink lipstick and blue eyes. I swear down she is fake. It doesn’t go unnoticed that her eyes dart towards Harry. I wonder whether Harry has noticed?
“Here’s Mia and…” The receptionist looks at Harry.
“Harry.” He grunts.
“Oh Harry are you Mia’s brother?” Lola asks.
She wishes!
“No Mia is my girlfriend.” Harry’s face scrunches up and I have to stop myself from laughing.
“Oh…o…okay. Mia your mum is in there. You have a half an hour until your mum has to go for her counselling.” Lola’s cheeks burn scarlet from her mistake. Through talking to me she still glances at Harry. It’s not that I’m jealous because I’m not. I kind of feel sorry for her if I’m honest because she is making a fool out of herself.
As Lola walks off down the hall way, Harry and I giggle.
“Could you have gotten any more fake?” He whispers, trying to control his laugh.
“Leave her alone, she was trying he best.” I mock.
“Well my eyes are only for the girl I’ve got.” He pulls me in close pecking my lips.
“Are you ready?” I ask.
“It’s not or never.” He shrugs.
I take a deep breath before entering the small box room.
“Oh Mia. I never thought you would come to see me. I’ve missed you so much.” I’m pulled into my mother’s arms. At first my body is tense, but after a few seconds I relax. It’s only my mum.
“I’ve missed you too mum.” The real you.
“Thank you so much for coming to see me Mia. You don’t know how happy I am to see you.” He warm breath on my neck makes my skin tingle.
“I only stayed away because it was for the best. It wasn’t by choice.” I tell her.
“I know. You’re here now, that’s all that matters.” I feel emotional.
As we embrace out of the hug, I take a step back towards Harry. I fiddle with my hand, showing a sign of my nerves. This has been a habit of mine since I was little.
“Hello Harry, I’m so sorry I didn’t notice you standing there.” She smiles.
“Hi.” He awkwardly says.
“You were right about Harry Mia and I was wrong…as usual.” My mother says.
“What do you mean?” I scrunch my eyebrows not understanding her.
“I thought that he was going to be a bad influence on you, but he wasn’t. In fact I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time.” Her eyes search my face.
I can’t believe she has just said that in front of Harry. I can’t imagine what he must be feeling right now.
“Oh and you have finally put a little bit of weight on finally. You’ve needed to put some weight on for such a long time.” She carries on with her sentence.
“Mia has put weight on because…” I know what Harry is going to say but I don’t want her to know just yet.
“Because I’m on medication.” I lie. Harry’s eyes are on me right now, I can feel it.
“Oh why hunny? Is everything okay?” She asks.
“Yes, I was poorly a couple of weeks back so they have just put me on some medication for now.” I feel so bad for lying.
***
“Mia I want you to know how sorry I am for being such a terrible mother over the last few years.”
“Mum it’s okay. I understand. I don’t want you to be sorry.” I smile.
“No it is not okay Mia, you need to stop being so nice to people.” My mum shakes her head, still with a tight grip on my hand.
“So when do you think you are aloud out of here?” Harry asks, changing the conversation.
“Hopefully in two weeks if I keep improving.” Two weeks? Wow that is so soon.
Everyone’s attention is drawn form the conversation as there is a knock on the door.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt but Mrs Taylor has to go for her counselling now.” A different nurse pops her head around the corner.
“Paula please call me Sue, like I have said before.” My mum must really know these nurses. Well I suppose that she would after being locked in here for such a long time.
“Okay mum, I will come back and see you in a couple of days. Okay?” I stand in union with Harry.
“Promise?” My mum looks at me.
“I promise.” She pulls me into a hug as if to say thank you.
“Come here Harry. You too.” My mum opens her arm out for Harry to join in the hug.
He dives in as we all laugh.
“You look after my baby girl okay? Don’t let me down. Give her all of the care that I never did.” My mum says as tears escape my eyes.
I don’t want to cry but I can’t help it.
“Mum please don’t. You were great and still are.” I hide my face.
“Mia you need to stop lying to yourself and facing up to the truth. And stop blaming yourself about Ben because I know that you do. Okay, I know that I haven’t helped in the past with the blame but I know that it wasn’t your fault so please convince yourself.” A tear drop strolls down her cheek, leaving a streak of salt water behind.
“Okay mum.”
“So promise me that you’ll look after her Harry.”
“I will Sue. Don’t worry.” Harry smiles, kissing my hair.
“I love you mum.” I cry.
“I love you too Mia.”
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Yey, Mia’s mum is finally on the road to recovery. Break downs and depression is so hard to deal with! The illness is horrible and can destroy you. Many people don’t realise that they are suffering from depression until it is too late. If yourself or anybody you know is changing please get the help you need or support them and get them the help they need. You really could be saving somebody’s life trust me.
So stay strong!
I would like to thank you all for getting this book to 18k reads. It really does mean a lot.
I know that my updates are absolutely rubbish at the moment but like I said at the end of my last chapter I have a lot of things going on at the minute. I will get back into regular updating again soon, I promise.
Please check out these two amazing stories by a couple of my closest friends.
Sent From Above by onedirection1_
And
Brooklyn Lights by larrylover4life123
That’s enough of my babbling now. So thank you again…
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