Lisa's POV
"Who are you?"
I opened the door of my car and grabbed the paper bag on the passenger seat. I just got back from buying a meal for the two of us. For Jennie and for me, of course.
I rode the elevator till I reached the 3rd floor. The door opened and in exact place and time, I saw Mrs. Kim and James Hendrick. I bowed my head politely and made my way out from the elevator. "Are you going home now?"
James cleared his throat before speaking. "Yes. Uh, Jennie doesn't want any visitors to disturb her."
I took a glance to the both of them and smiled weakly. "I'm really sorry if that mad you uncomfortable to leave. The fact that she suffered from head trauma and didn't remember anything plus side effects of the medicines she's taking, it's obvious that she can't handle talking to people and seeing many things easily. Let's take everything step by step."
I heard James let out a deep sigh and nodded his head. "Thank you for taking care of her. I can't wait to see her being lively and silly at the same time again." Jennie's father said.
I can't help but feel guilty because it's my fault why their daughter is suffering like this.
Her mother got here from Los Angeles but didn't bother to talk to me. She's just taking glances whenever I'm talking. I understand her so much and I still feel sorry for what happened. Not just to this incident but also what happened in the past. Remember that her mom treated me like her daughter too but I ended up hurting them. Maybe she doesn't trust me anymore especially now that I'm the one who's taking care of her daughter but she has no choice but to accept it. And yes, because I insisted.
"Let's go." Mrs. Kim told James then entered the elevator.
"We have to go, Lalisa." James said while giving me a weak smile. "Update us whenever you can." Then she followed Mrs. Kim.
"Oh." I opened the paper bag I was holding and grabbed some hot packs then extended my arm to give these to them. "It's winter, please stay warm." I said.
"Thank you." Jennie's dad said then accepted those hot packs while her mom is looking down.
"Take care." I said before the elevator door closed then bowed my head again.
After I checked that they already went down, I started to walk in a faster way to reach Jennie's room. I quickly opened the door and saw her reading the book I bought for her.
Love and Misadventure by Lang Leav.
I maybe not a poet but I love her works especially that book and now I'm sharing it to this beautiful creature that's looking at me like she wants me to go away.
"I said don't----." She paused. "You again."
"Always me." I gave her a smile and then walked towards her to give her a kiss on the forehead but when I was about to lean forward, she moved away. "Sorry." I whispered. I forgot that she's not aware who I am.
I stood up properly again and pulled the table closer to her bed and prepared the food I bought for us.
"Those two were so strange." She uttered while looking at me.
"Everything is strange especially in your case, baby."
"I said don't call me that. You're at it again." I saw her close the book and put it on the other table on her side. "I'm hungry." Then she pouted.
"You became bipolar." I shook my head.
"Bipolar? No way!" She pouts more and that ended me. Yeah, she's so fucking cute when she does that. I can't deny and no one will!
"Okay. That was just a joke." I said then pinch her nose.
"Touch me again or I'll punch you."
I raised both of my hands acting like surrendering or something. "Okay okay. No need for you to be mad. Let's just eat." I chuckled then gave her the food.
We started digging on our foods and we stopped talking. There's just a silence inside this room that was somehow unbreakable. Instead of eating, I can't help but stare at Jennie who's now busy munching her food. I bought her bibimbap and teokbokki because she told me that she's craving to those. I rested my back on the chair to see a greater view to her face. I saw her fluffy cheeks moving as she chew that made me smile like an idiot. She's the cutest ever and you guys should agree with me.
She lifter her gazes to me. "Why are you staring at me like that?" She asked innocently. Yeah, don't misinterpret that she's being ignorant the whole time.
"Just seeing you eating like that makes me full."
"Don't lie. Even words or pictures can't make your stomach full, only foods." She said then looked down to her food again. Her target now is the spicy rice cake or the teokbokki.
"You're right." I replied and leaned my body forward again to clean the dirt on the side of her mouth. "And eating faster won't help you digest your food properly." I said then winked.
"Are you my mother or what? You always nag."
Trust me, I am not but she always does nag.
"The woman who just came here is your mother." I know she's just making fun when she said those but maybe it's my time to make her think about those kinds of stuffs carefully. Like her parents, I want her to remember everything also because I miss my girl. I miss my Jennie.
She stopped from chewing but her mouth is still full and it looks like her cheek were about to pop. "Uh! Whatever. I still can't remember." She said then back her attention to the food.
I sighed and shook my head. It's been a week but Jennie still can't remember anything and we're still here at the hospital. She's suffering from a temporary memory loss because of the head injury she experienced a week ago with that accident. She went conscious and fine after a day of her operation but she doesn't remember a single thing about her and the people around her. It gave us shock especially her family but for me, I somehow expected it because there's a possibility for everything. But I still felt sad because of the fact that Jennie can't remember anything. As a doctor, we also know how the patient with amnesia or even those people who are suffering from temporary amnesia. They feel uncomfortable most of the time because of headaches and the thought that they want to remember the person they are talking to or what happened that lead them to a situation like this.
In Jennie's case, her head barely aches because of the medicine. We are currently taking another step for her to remember herself first but not to the point that we will force her. It's like we're giving her a therapy for that and if Jennie will progress fast, then it's better. Seulgi told me a lot of things about her situation but I already know that. I know she's aware with that and maybe, she just wants to remind me ll the time. But for now, we all need to wait and act in the right time. It's hard for our parts but it's harder for Jennie. Like the fact that you are surrounded by the strangers and you don't have a choice because you can't stand even for yourself is difficult too. Me and Jisoo unnie decided to let Jennie stay here at the hospital till things for her get better.
"Why aren't you eating?" She asked that snapped me from thinking.
I looked at her and smile because the sides of her mouth are dirty again with the sauce. "I told you that seeing you eating makes me full."
"That's nonsense." Her eyebrow moved up.
"I know." I shook my head then chuckled.
"Well..." she paused. "If you're full, can I have it?" She pointed the bibimbap in front of me.
I laughed and nodded. "Okay." I said then gave her the bowl. She started to eat again. "Yah, who starved you?" I said then laugh again.
"What's funny? It's getting boring here day by day."
"Is that so? I asked you many times to have a walk outside every morning but you're always refusing."
"I'm still afraid to go out. I still don't want to trust other people, doctor." Yes, she's calling me doctor when she asked me again for the nth time what I was doing in her room. It was the moment when Seulgi was doing her rounds so the silly slugs told Jennie that I'm her personal doctor and this woman seemed to believe her. Whose doctor is calling her patient "baby"? Aigoo.
"I am not asking you to trust other people in the moment, Jennie. I just want you to trust me."
She didn't answer and finished the bowl of bibimbap instead. Maybe I need to pursue her more little by little.
After half an hour, I fixed her bed so that she can lay down. "I should be the one doing that."
"It's fine. So much moving isn't good for your wound." I'm referring to the wound of her head from the operation.
"But you wanted me to walk outside."
"That's different." I told her. Jennie became more talkative about things and she wants reasons for every word I am saying. Well, that's not even surprising knowing the normal Jennie because she's naturally competitive on talking. She don't wanna lose in an argument.
I saw her picked the book on the table and leaned her back on the headboard of the bed. She searched for the page she stopped earlier.
"Enjoying the book?" I asked then removed the coat I was wearing.
She nodded. "Lang Leav's works are really great."
"I know. That's why she's my favorite." I sat down on the sofa while looking on the outside view. City lights.
"Really? Do you remember at least one of her poems here?"
I nodded.
"Are you sure?" See how talkative she is.
"Are you doubting me?" I said then lay down and rested my hand on the back of my head.
"No. I just wanna check if you are only acting cool for me to believe you." She said then giggled. That's cute but the part that she told me that? It's a no no.
I sighed then closed my eyes.
"A Timeline
You and I
against the rule,
set for us by time.
A marker drawn
to show our end,
etched into its line.
The briefest moment
shared with you-
the longest
on my mind."
I recited the poem without thinking. Maybe because that one is my favorite poem from the book because obviously, that says it all about me and Jennie.
"Wow." She said almost whispering.
A smile flashed on my face and opened my eyes to look at the ceiling. "Do you believe me now?" I laughed. "Your turn. Read one." I said while relaxing my body.
On my peripheral vision, I saw her carefully looked at the book. And the only thing I knew, she was reading one of the poems in the book.
"A Stranger
There is a love I reminisce,
Like a seed
I've never sown.
Or lips that im yet to kiss,
and eyes
not met my own.
Hands that wrap around my wrists,
and arms
that feel like home.
I wonder how it is I miss,
these things
I've never known."
"Why that one?" I asked after she went on silence again. This time I stood up and walked towards her.
"I don't know. I just feel like I am obliged by myself that I should read it." She told me innocently.
"Can I lay beside you?"
Aish. It might creep her out and why all of a sudden Lisa? What's with the sudden move?
"I... I mean that sofa is too short for me. I can't relax."
"Hmm?" She lifted her gaze on me. "You seemed comfortable earlier and you are sleeping there for many nights now, Dr. Manoban." She really don't have any idea right? She really don't sense that I want to hug her and kiss her right now. Fuck. This is torturing me!
"My back hurts--- Aish. Just move." I said then lay down beside her.
"Yah, you're covering most of the space!" She uttered. "I'm going to fall myself."
"Then move closer to me."
"Why would I?"
"Aish." I hissed then pulled her waist closed to me. I positioned myself and hugged her side while closing my eyes. "I'm too tired to argue with you, baby. Please let me do this just for once."
"B-but..."
"We need to sleep." I said then hug her more. I buried my face on her neck like I always do. I need you to remember that this is my comfort zone, Jennie.
"Li-Lisa...ssi..."
"Shhh."
Jennie didn't answer after that. Maybe she doesn't want also to argue about this thing. She's also tired, I know. She's not that active like she always do but it's more tiring when your mind is working harder than your body. Jennie may not mention all the time but I am aware that she's thinking about her situation that's why I am here to distract her somehow. I should avoid her getting stress.
After a moment, I felt Jennie's heavy breathing so I slowly opened my eyes to check her out. I saw that she's already sleeping then a sweet smile flashed again on my face. I love how angelic her face is especially when she's sleeping. I love how I am watching her sleeping and breathing right now. Maybe it's nothing for her but it's too much for me. Seeing her alive and healthy makes me feel fine. I know that her temporary amnesia is still a problem but that's not the important thing right now. What's important is that she still exists and I'm living with that.
The thought of Jennie reading the poem earlier across my mind. Maybe you are not aware, maybe you don't know but that's also us, Jen. For a moment, I will and I am just a stranger for you.
---
"Jackson!" I called his name and when he turned around, I gave him a punch on his face. Say that I'm a woman but who cares?! This man messed up with me and I can't just let it pass like that.
"Stop, noona." Bambam whispered and pulled me. "We came here to talk, right?"
"You can't blame me, Bam. That man ruined everything and hurt everyone!" I raised my voice as I spoke.
"Easy.." He tapped my shoulder and tried to calm me down.
Jackson on the other side, was wearing an orange long sleeves and pants as a sign that he's already staying here on jail. He looks miserable with his dirty clothes and messy hair. You can tell that he already stop taking care of himself. "Is that how you gonna greet your younger brother?"
I paused and looked at the guy. I just remembered that we're siblings. I sat down to the vacant chair in this visiting area. Bambam followed me and sat beside me while Jackson is at the front.
"Where's your attorney?" Bambam asked Jackson.
"Why do I need one?"
"Are you going to keep being ignorant?" Bambam quickly uttered.
The man shook his head and stared at me. "Why would I fight in an ended war when I am already lost?" He sighed. "Maybe you can't forgive me now even if I apologize but please try to consider things."
"We won't let you go outside this jail, Jack." It's Bambam again.
"I am not asking you to let me. I know I'm going to rot here because of what I did that's why I am readying myself for it." He smiled so weakly. "I don't have things to do in jail but to think and think and think. But this time, I learned how to stop because that'll make me go crazier." He chuckled while looking down. He stood up and walked to the side of the table and kneeled down. "I thought a lot of things while spending my time inside, and one of my regrets is why I let myself do those horrible things especially to my Dad and to my siblings. I let my anger ate me that caused pain to all the people around me. Bam, I want you to know that it's really my plan to get close to you to take my other revenge but the table turned and I ended up being happy because I felt how it was like when you have a brother beside you. But still, I'm asking for your forgiveness because I didn't stop myself from doing bad things that affected you big time."
I looked at Bambam and he's now confused. Maybe he doesn't know what to feel because his own brother is confessing to him right now.
"To you Lisa..." then he lifted his gazes on me. "Thank you for giving me a chance when I had nothing. When you had the company, I approached you to execute my plan but again, I also experienced how to have a noona with our bickering moments and our own silliness. I'm sorry if I ended up doing my plan again. Dad did the wrong thing and not you guys, but maybe I had no brain to think and conscience that's why I hurt the both of you. I'm sorry, I just felt envy because you have your parents with you. I'm not asking for your sudden forgiveness and even if it takes time, I will wait."
"You should haven't done that." I replied. "Because of you, my girlfriend is suffering."
"I know." He bowed his head. "Dad told me everything when he talked to me. I deserve to be punished."
"Yes, you do." I stood up and walked away, leaving him in a position like that. I'm not being harsh or something but don't expect me to forgive him right away. Like he said, he deserves to be punished and that's also for knowing how to be patient. I know I can fix everything between me and Jackson, between me and Bambam and also to my family but how can I do that if I can't forget Jennie's situation? I may fix it but not now.
"Noona!" Bambam ran towards me when we reached outside.
"Please give me more time. I need to think of it." I said then turned around to face him.
"I know, noona." He held my hand and tapped it with his other hand. "Let me join you on fixing our family relationships. Let's talk the other time and for now, go back to Jennie. She needs you."
I nodded and sighed. "Thanks, Bam." I was about to open the car door but he called me again.
"Noona." He paused for a moment before speaking. "I.... I miss us. I mean the old us. P-Please considerate things." He bowed his head and smile.
"I will, Bam. Always take care." I smiled too and went inside my car.
While driving, I heard my phone rang so I answered it right away when I saw Jisoo unnie's name on the screen.
"Unnie."
"Yah, she's at it again."
"Hmm?"
"Jennie is having her tantrums. God, this woman became a child, really!" She said that mad me laugh. I think I know what's happening.
"Be patient. You're still a stranger to her, unnie. Just wait more and she'll go back to the old Jennie we know."
"I know, I know. But that's not the thing... Here, she wants to talk to you."
She maybe gave the phone to Jennie because I heard her voice next. "Hello? Dr. Manoban?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you left me again with strangers? I clearly told you last night that never leave me again!" She said in an aegyo voice.
I even heard Jisoo unnie saying "Aigoo, if you're the normal Jennie? You might feel disgusted on what you are doing." And I laughed again. She really doesn't want to hear cute voice but her girl is full of aegyo!
"Hey, they are not strangers like what I told you. I asked them to take care of you while I'm away because I have some errands to do."
"Like what? Are you visiting other patients?!"
"Why are you raising your voice, Ms. Jennie Kim?"
"So are you really meeting other patients? Huh! Fine!" Oh God. I don't know why I felt butterflies in my stomach.
"Are you jealous?" I asked while smiling like an idiot.
"Of course not! Hey Jisoo-ya, tell Dr. Kang that I want another personal doctor for me!"
"Jisoo-ya?! Have you gone mad? I told you to call me unnie you mannerless."
"Whatever! I'm hanging up now."
"No, wait. I didn't meet any patients. I just went to see my brothers, that's all. You can ask those two people there if you want to." I said while driving.
"Really?" She asked innocently.
"Really."
"Then buy me food!"
"How can you connect food to our current topic?"
"Because I'm hungry. Jisoo-ya brought fried chicken but she's eating it!" I can imagine that she's pouting right now.
I laughed. "You guys are both silly so don't be surprised. By the way, you want also chicken?"
"No. Mandu. (Dumplings)."
"Okay, mandu it is."
"And beef stew!" She added.
"Okay.."
"Uhm. Yeah! Buy some fish cakes too! And a ramyeon!"
"Yeah. I need to go, bye!" Before she can talk again, I ended the call. Damn, she's going to make me buy the whole market if she continue being like that.
I shook my head as I thought of Jennie being active again. She's making a big progress day by day and that's good. She starting to like on having a conversation with other people beside me and doing things she wants.
This may not be the right time for everything but I know it will all be fine. There are people wanting my forgiveness because they did me wrong but I still don't wanna push myself on the things that we need to do in the right time. I want to take my time so I can't ruin the whole story again. I hope that they understand that I need to focus first on myself and to Jennie who needs me the most.
Yes, if it's better this way, then it's going to be this way. I can't wait to step up and reach my only dream... to live a happy life with the people I love.
---
Sea of Strangers
In a sea of strangers,
you've longed to know me.
Your life spent sailing
to my shores.
The arms that yearn
to someday hold me,
will ache beneath
the heavy oars.
Please take your time
and take it slowly;
as all you do
will run its course.
And nothing else
can take what only-
was always meant
as solely yours.
-Lang Leav