Mia's Pov.
"Harry I think it is about time for me to tell you what I have been hiding." I let the words fall from my lips with no control at all.
I don't know why, but I feel as I need to finally tell Harry about my dark past. As much as I don't want to, I feel the need to. Something about him attracts me and I just want to keep talking to him.
"What? Really." Harry seems shocked as he scoots his chair closer to mine.
Not replying, I look into the distance through the kitchen window. How am I meant to put this into words? I know that I will break down several times through telling him.
"I..." I breath in, huffing loudly out.
"Mia it is alright, just say in your own time. There is no rush." I can feel Harry's eyes burning into me but I don't have the guts to looks at him. I keep my glare to the window.
"It was a four years ago when it all happened." Closing my eyes, I swallow the lump in my throat that has seemed to grow over the last few minutes.
"What was?" I can tell Harry is urging for me to say. It isn't going to be easy just coming out with it and I know it. This is a reason I have never told anyone except Victoria about it.
"My brother...brothers, the car." Finally opening my eyes, I feel a tear escape from my eye lids.
"Ey it is alright. Don't cry." Harry swipes his thumb across my cheek, removing the small, wet, droplet.
"It was horrible, I still remember the day as clear just like it was yesterday." I know I will always see torturing me, flashing back in my head, giving me nightmares.
"Let me start from the beginning." I take one more deep breath before starting to tell Harry the full story.
"Remember in your own time, just nice and slow." Harry takes my hands in his.
"It was a cold, frosty, ice morning and the snowflakes were falling heavy smashing onto the ground shortly making it all white. We hadn't had snow for such a long time, we was all exited. Max and Ben just wanted to go out and build a snowman, so that is what we did. My mum, dad, two brothers and I went out and were playing around in the snow. We all built a snowman each and each time my dads were the biggest. It never took long for all of the snow to disappear of the ground from how much we were all using it." Shivers run through my body and Harry notices.
"Mia, you don't have to say." Harry turns my face to look at him.
"Don't stop me...please." I plead. If he stops me now, I will probably never finish telling him.
"Okay." Harry nods.
"Max and Ben wanted to sledging, but I didn't want to and neither did mum and dad. The both kept begging me to go, but I kept on ignoring them. I was already cold and tired. Max and Ben wouldn't stop annoying me to go with them all because they were too young to go to the field by themselves. In the end I finally gave in, but not by choice. I was a teenager who just wanted to go out and spend time with my friends, not playing sledge racing with my brothers." Looking down to out connected hands, I see my tears covering them.
"Yes I understand, just like any normal person right?" Harry agrees with me about being a normal stroppy teenager.
"I began walking them to the field. It felt as it was taking forever. The walk was dragging and they kept annoying me. I just wanted to walk back home, but I knew that I couldn't do that because my mum and dad would have killed me for leaving them by themselves. So I decided to take them a short cut which was the worst decision of my life. I had been told about it by school friends but they always warned me if I ever did that rout to be very careful." I feel as if I can't breathe right now.
After taking a few moments to catch my breath, I carry on talking.
"It was through the woodlands, we kept to a path which seemed pretty safe at the time. It was when Max and Ben stopped talking that I realised something wasn't right...that we was being followed. I pulled them both to my side and held them tight." I let my flashbacks take over as I talk Harry through it.
*Flashback.*
"Who is there?" I shouted.
With no reply, I took both of Max's and Ben's hands in mine as we began to run. I could hear our entire hearts racing as we ran as fast as we possibly could. The faster we got...so did the noise which was still following.
"Quick! Through there." I pulled Max and Ben in front of me so I could keep them in sight.
We shortly came of track and were in the middle of nowhere. I hadn't had I clue where we were or which way to go. I wasn't used to this woodland, and I wish that I had of never tried to act smart and got a short cut which I didn't even know. We still hadn't stopped running. With each tree that I passed, I would look for a sign or a clue to help but no each time there were nothing. I wanted to break down crying but I had to stay tough for Max and Ben.
"Mia I'm scared." Ben shouted back to me.
"Mia I want to go home, I don't like this." Max cried.
"Mia what is happening." Ben asked.
I didn't know what to reply, I had no idea myself. I wanted all of those questions answered too but I had to just carry on.
"Shh, just keep running boys." I whispered trying to keep my voice as low as possible.
We ran for such a long time, and there was just no end to it. We never kept to the same track. We were all over the place. Even though my heart felt as it was going to bust out of my chest at any moment but I thought that we had finally lost our follower.
"Boys I think we're okay. Stop running." I slowed down, holding my side as tight as I could to try and get rid of the stich that was so painful.
"Call mum." Ben said.
"Call dad." Max added.
"I can't there is no signal I don't think." I feel down in my pocket to dig for my phone but all I fell is the material of my jeans. I knew then that I had lost my phone and that we were in even more trouble. I had no clue of where we were and even if there was signal, I couldn't phone anybody because I must have dropped my phone whilst running.
The dark grey clouds full of snow weren't helping the slightest. We were already cold enough and we had lack of sunlight. The only light that we would have had was being blocked off by the big, chunky trees that surrounded us.
"We are coming." I hear a voice echo through the woods.
Looking around, I see nobody but my first intention is just to run again.
"Quick boys. Down there." I let them take the lead so that I could keep a close eye on the both of them.
We ran down hill for a while, I tripped a few times and cut my arms. The boys didn't fall meaning that they both had a good grip on their shoes.
They were much fast then I was but they did keep stopping to give me a chance to catch up. Each time I did reach them, I patted their backs to persuade them to carry on and not to give up.
The hill soon became a lot steeper and not one of us could keep control of our speed. Max was the one in front.
"MIA. I CAN'T SLOW DOWN." He screamed.
Ben was pretty close to me as Max was still ahead.
"KEEP GOING MAX, IT WILL END SOON." I shout back praying that it would come to an end.
We ran for a little longer, when I noticed a large, grey long path with flying objects flying past my eyes.
"MAX SLOW DOWN, THERE IS A ROAD." I hysterically screamed.
It was too late. Max had already reached the other side safely. I wasn't thinking about how close Ben and I were, before we couldn't stop.
Ben was screaming as was I.
Ben was first to be hit as his body flew across the road, sliding on the ice which took him to the edge.
"BE..." I screamed with tears running down my face before I felt my body also being hit by a heavy large object. Crashing to the ground, I remember nothing after that.
*End of flashback*
With me now sobbing, Harry soon pulls me into a tight hug.
"Mia calm down." He rubs his hands up and down my back trying to comfort me but nothing works, nothing ever has.
"It was my fault." I cry.
"It wasn't." Harry replies.
"It was! If I had of never took them the short rout, none of this would have ever happened." I try and catch my breath.
"You weren't ever to know that that would have happened." Harry pushes my shoulder back for me to look him in the eyes.
"Yes I was. I was warned to be careful, if I went that way. It was my fault Ben died that day. All because of me Ben lost his life, mum and dad lost their son and Max lost his twin." I scream.
"Mia calm down. It is not your fault okay! None of this is your fault. It was a tragic accident that should have never of happened. You can't blame yourself for this, I won't let you." Harry grabs my arms to restrain my body from freaking out.
"I can't go like this anymore. I know that everyone blames me, and I don't see why they shouldn't. Day after day it is there to torture me." I can't see out of my eyes because there full of water. Harry and everything that lies behind him is a watery blur.
"Come here." Harry pulls me in, wrapping his arms tightly around my body to secure me.
"I know people judge me." I speak into his chest.
"No they don't. You just believe that they do. I will not judge you and all I can say from what you have just told me is that you are strong as hell Mia. You tried your best to keep your brothers safe. You put them first, keeping an eye on them. I can tell that Max definitely doesn't blame you because he loves you to pieces. You need to stop blaming yourself Mia." Harry says with firmness to his voice.
"I can't. I have money in my bank in which I don't want." I cry.
"What do you mean?" Harry questions.
"From the full accident, my family got compensation...a lot! I got the most but I don't want to spend it because I shouldn't. It was my fault the accident happened. Not the drivers." It is true if it wasn't for me and my stupid short cut, none of this would have happened.
"Mia it is not your fault! Fucking stop saying that!" He pulls me back again. My eyes soon meet his.
"Sorry." I whisper. "I can't help it." I add.
"Do not apologise to me, you have nothing to be sorry for." Harry pulls his chair in even closer than before.
"Thank you." I sniffle.
"What for?" He asks.
"For listening to the full story and not judging." I gulp.
"I will always listen to you Mia." Harry smiles.
"I know." Looking down at my knees, I begin to play around with my fingers.
"Who knows about it?" I look up to Harry from his question.
"Most people from my old school but, I don't talk to them no more. Danny knows and so does Victoria." I say.
"Victoria?" I don't think I have ever told him about her.
"She is...was my best friend. We were like sisters." I reply.
"What do you mean was? Don't you talk to each other no more?" Harry has not taken his eyes of me and I have no idea where I should look.
"No we haven't fallen out. She used to live in this house. We basically grew up together. A couple of months before you moved in here, her and her family moved to Littleborough. We did keep in touch all of the time when she first moved but now I think that she has a boyfriend because she never replies or answers the phone to me. She was the only person I could tell all of my problems too and now she has gone." I feel another tear sprinkle down my face.
"You have me. I will replace her as a friend. I will be a funnier one." Harry smiles trying to lighten up the mood...as always.
"Thanks Harry, yeah that would be good. I think we make good friends." I wipe my eyes.
"Yes we do." He smirks making me laugh a little. The truth is that I want to be more then friends, but he doesn't want too I can just tell. I can't forget our kisses. They made me forget about my problems and just took me into a complete different world of living. I will confront Harry about our kisses one day but right now doesn't feel the right time or place.
I feel so much easier now that Harry knows the truth and that I don't have to cover anything up or hide anything away from him. Even though I didn't want to tell him at the start, I'm now glad that I have because I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.