Lose Myself

Av idahwrites

2.2M 63.6K 7.8K

WAS #2 in Romance. -- He's got a secret, she's got a secret. But is it the same secret? Amara A... Mer

Author's Note
Chapter One: A Change
Chapter Two: The Encounter
Chapter Three: The Project
Chapter Four: A Dark Past
Chapter Five: Schwarzer Regen
Chapter Six: Family Day
Chapter Seven: Discovery
Chapter Eight: Flashback (Emilie)
Chapter Nine: Return Home
Chapter Ten: Undercover
Chapter Eleven: Admission
Chapter Twelve: Flashback (Amara)
Chapter Thirteen: Take Care of Me
Chapter Fourteen: The Next Chapter
Chapter Fifteen: Friends
Chapter Sixteen Part One: Understanding
Chapter Sixteen Part Two: Bonding
Chapter Seventeen Part One: Spa Day
Chapter Seventeen Part Two: Family Night
Chapter Eighteen: Sunday Brunch
Chapter Nineteen: Love Me Right
Chapter Twenty: First Day
Chapter Twenty-One: Trouble
Chapter Twenty-Two: Teamwork
Chapter Twenty-Three: Interrogation
Chapter Twenty-Four Part One: Dark Knight
Chapter Twenty-Four Part Two: Angel in White
Chapter Twenty-Five: Stranger From the Past
Chapter Twenty-Six: My Fault
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Thank You
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Adventure with Me
Chapter Twenty-Nine Part One: Merry Merry Christmas
Chapter Twenty-Nine Part Two: Suspicion
Chapter Thirty: Extermination
Chapter Thirty-One: Closure
Chapter Thirty-Two: Happy New Year!
Chapter Thirty-Three: Informant
Chapter Thirty-Four: Distant
Chapter Thirty-Five: Brink
Chapter Thirty-Six: Bad Decisions
Thirty-Seven: Old Friend
Chapter Thirty-Eight: I'm Sorry
Chapter Thirty-Nine: I Love You
Chapter Forty: You Saved Me
Chapter Forty-One: Independence Day
Chapter Forty-Three: Back To The Future
Chapter Forty-Four: Nakey In The Lakey
Chapter Forty-Five: Take Me Away With You
Chapter Forty-Six: The Devil's Insurgence
Chapter Forty-Seven: Secret Home
Chapter Forty-Eight: Game Plan
Chapter Forty-Nine: Rogue
Chapter Fifty: Bump!
Chapter Fifty-One: Problems From the Past
Chapter Fifty-Two: Tough Love
Chapter Fifty-Three: Waddle
Chapter Fifty-Four: Friction
Chapter Fifty-Five: Hello Baby!
Chapter Fifty-Six: Family Matters
Chapter Fifty-Seven: This Is Us
Important Notice
Chapter Fifty-Eight: Massacre
Chapter Fifty-Nine: Me and You
Chapter Sixty: Squad
Interview: Dominic + Amara
Very Important Notice

Chapter Forty-Two: Sitter

25.8K 765 86
Av idahwrites

Dominic

Balancing all these things was not easy, the task of making them in the first place was already difficult but the carrying was just pure nonsense. I tactfully used my elbow to push down the door handle and nudged the door open with my shoulder. I held napkins in my mouth like a dog and was probably breathing as irregularly as one too. 

I propped the tray onto the bedside table whilst Amara began waking up, I heard a sniff and then the sudden movement of bed linen. Her blonde head popped up over the covers, she eyed the frittatas I'd made.

"Woah." she gasped. I chuckled.

"Buongiorno bellissima." I stood scratching the back of my neck.

"Guten morgen Dominic." she smiled before turning her attention back to the food, "What have you made?" she watched with wide eyes, resting her head in both hands.

I moved the tray to the flat end of the bed, climbed on top and held one up. "Miniature Italian Frittatas."

"What's it made of?" she shuffled closer.

I smiled, "There's bacon, egg, chives, garlic and lots of cheese."

She breathed, "Woah."

"Come here." I nodded for her to move over, she blushed but did as I asked. "Ah." I signalled for her to open her mouth by demonstrating with my own - she frowned before opening her mouth wide. I fed her one of the frittatas and had to stop myself from doing anything as she moaned at the taste. "Good?" I asked.

"Amazing." she bounced.

My cellphone went off on my side of the bed, I grabbed it - took one look at the contact - and tossed it to Amara. Who now held a phone in one hand and a frittata in the other. I laid back onto her lap so I could stare at the ceiling whilst eavesdropping on the conversation.

"Hello." she answered holding the frittata close to her mouth incase she needed to take a quick bite, I heard a little voice on the other side. "We miss you guys already!" she replied to something whilst looking longingly at the frittata, I watched with a smirk on my face.

The weird look wiped off her voice and she suddenly frowned, "Say what?"

I heard a loud 'please' coming from Claire's end of the conversation, "No way." was Amara's exasperated reply as she tried to adjust herself under my weight.

"C'mon." Claire would've had to have been whining really loud if I could hear it this clearly and I wasn't even the one holding the phone. "I honestly don't have another option, and plus aren't you striving to be better people or some bullsh-t? Help a girl out, I promise you'll have my owing you for a long time - wouldn't want to pass that up if I was you."

"Fine." she rolled her eyes then sent me a worried look, "You're lucky I actually like kids."

She cut the phone tossing it a the pillow, I raised a brow. She stopped mid-air from biting her frittata and reluctantly explained to me. "Claire wants us to take care of your nephew, it was meant to be her job today but she got called into work - something about this new design she's working on with Adidas - having a fallout. Apparently they needed her in ASAP. She couldn't trust anyone other than us with the kid." she cross-eye stared at her frittata, "We have to go pick him up." she ended before taking the long awaited bite.

I sat up, "I'll go get him."

"Are you sure?" she swallowed grabbing another from the tray.

I smirked, "Just let me go and finish your frittatas."  I stood up bending over to peck her forehead, "Addio bambino."

"Later." she called back with the frittata muffling her voice.

--

I drove into the street. I knew my Aunt Alex would be thrilled to see me, she was not a part of the mafia so we rarely got to see her - for her safety of course. She was my mother's sister and proudly so, they were very close - it was a shame they rarely spoke.

I pulled to a stop in the driveway, smiling as Alfonso ran out the front door. That kid had too much free will. I shook my head stepping out of the car and engulfing the child into a bear hug.

"Ciao cugino Dominic." he smiled broadly.

"Ciao anche a te Alfonso." I put him down.

He frowned. "It's Alfie."

"I know." I laughed going to give him mother a hug, "La zia Alexander."

"Dominic." she smiled. "Thank you for helping us out."

I ignored the flash I saw in the corner of my eye, probably the paparazzi trying to start some rumours. "Where are you off to?" I stood with my hands in my pockets.

She sighed, "We're visiting Anto's parents. We'll be back before midnight I'm sure."

"Alright," I waved, "Have fun."

She waved back shouting a quick 'be good' to Alfie, he waved excitedly. I got the little guy in the car and started our drive back, he was extremely fond of RnB music and so the car ride was nothing less of entertaining.

I was sure Claire was just setting this up, she was obviously trying to pull something by getting Amara and I to take care of the kid. There are plenty of people back at the estate that could do a much more recommendable job of looking after him - even Abrielle couldn't mess it up the way I know I could.

Amara

I shrugged on a grey jumper I found in Dominic's pile. He seriously needed to fold his clothes better, I walked with bare feet to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of ice tea then went to the living room with the view of the street so I could wait for them to get here.

I switched on the television only to find a 'quick update' on Dominic gracing the screen, these magazine-run channels sure worked fast. I'd imagine he was nearly home by now, it was forty minutes since the picture had been taken.

Almost as if he'd heard my thoughts the car pulled up, turning into the garage. I put my tea on the coffee table, excited to see the little kid they called Alfonso. That was the cutest f-cking name, I couldn't help but squeal when I saw him.

"He's so tiny!" I marvelled holding his little hand.

"Amara you're so weird." Dominic chuckled getting out the driver's side, "You're scaring him."

The kid was too busy fondling with my hair, I picked him up and walked inside. I held out a hand, "Hello."

He gave me an enthusiastic high-five, "Hello Miss."

"My name is Amara." I said putting him on the couch.

He shuffled into a comfortable position, "My name is Alfie."

"Is it?" I frowned.

He frowned, "Yes."

I crouched down. "Well, Alfie. It's nice to meet you." I smiled.

Dominic walked in, the kid smiled at him. "Alright little guy, what do you wanna do?"

--

I went to the kitchen to get the kid some water, hospitality was priority after all. I had to stop as I returned, Dominic was crouching whilst the kid whispered in his ear. "Yeah do it." he nodded to the kid, "Do what you have to do." He prompted. I frowned walking up to the two.

"I leave for one minute to get you a glass of water and you're already plotting against me?" I pouted. We'd been playing random games like hide and seek, 24 homes and so forth - it had been tiring at most so the kid had asked for water. 

"No that's not it at all."

"Oh yeah?" I challenged.

He shuffled his feet. Ever since the kid got here Dominic had been playing around with him, they were doing cute guy stuff and talking about being 'real men' and all that misogynistic bulls-t but I let it pass because they weren't saying anything about girls - yet. Regardless it was terribly cute, he seemed so enthusiastic around Dominic, bouncing around and agreeing with everything he said. I was surprised Dominic did so well with children, it inspired other thoughts.

We drank our glasses of water then Dominic suggested ice-cream, and since we didn't have any at home - we'd visit the ice-cream parlour.

Dominic

I watched Amara giving hugs and high fives to Alfie, she was even chastising him about his manners, like she was his mother. She was exceptional with children, he liked her jokes and was surprised she talked so much smack about me and I sat back and did nothing about it. He really liked her, I was sure because he came up to me before she came back from the kitchen and asked if she had a boyfriend. I lied to the kid and told him she was totally single, so now he was waiting to make his move.

Ladykiller.

We got into the car and to my surprise Amara began singing along with Alfie to the RnB songs playing, I just shook my head. After we pulled up to the parlour Amara exited the car and pulled Alfie out from the back, she would be a wonderful mother - I could tell.

We went into the parlour and she helped him pick a flavour, he seemed to greatly value her opinion in which they agreed the rainbow was best. 

"You know, I think this might be the best ice-cream I've ever tasted." She commented, we were walking down the street, "But maybe it's just because it tastes sweeter when you're here." She added squeezing the little guy, who hung tight to her side.

"I feel very conflicted by this newfound relationship." I shook my head, "I totally called dibs."

"No you said I was good to go."

"I change my mind."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Champ wanted to know if y-"

He jumped up and attempted at covering my mouth, which I decided to give him this one and just crouch down so he could do so effectively. Alfie rushed in for a save, "He doesn't know what he's saying."

I shrugged, nodding.

Claire

I sat in the living room with the television on, live footage of Dominic, Amara and Alfonso was trending on the news. The 'royal family' of Italy, they were fondling over them like the British over the blue bloods.

I ate my food looking bored at the screen, Leo came in taking a seat and stealing some from my bowl. "Why is Dominic with Alfie?"

"Because I'm a businesswoman. That's why." I monotoned.

He sighed, "Claire you shouldn't do things like that. What did you tell them anyway? That you're going to stay home whilst they do your chores just for the heck of it?"

"No. I got called into work." I turned to face him briefly before returning my attention to the screen. He shook his head then began watching also.

They did look like a real family, Alfie was so cute. They seemed to have a serious conversation for a second before the whole lot started laughing, they started walking again shaking their heads at something that must've been entertaining. Alfie was looking annoyed.

I could see cameras flashing on the outside of the screen and I hoped they could see it too, sooner or later there'd be headlines.

Amara

We turned into the park because why not? Alfie wanted to play some more and so that's what we were doing, we all saw the paparazzi taking pictures of us but ignored it – not letting it ruin any of our fun.

We played a ton of games, Alfie was almost like a tank of fuel and he never ran out. If I were unfit like most people are or become after bearing children, I would understand my bitterness. It took a lot to keep up with the kid.

We stopped at a craft store just because there was pretty stuff in the window, but I ended up finding a bunch of things we could do when we got back home. Dominic was eyeing me as I grinned at him, grabbing random things that – separate – looked like they didn't serve a purpose.

--

Alfie and I sat in front of the oven, basking in the oven light. Dominic was munching on some cookies and rolling around on the counter. We'd made three different mugs, drawn with sharpies all over them and put them in the oven to set. Now we waited so that we could use them for hot chocolate.

"Why is it taking so long?" Dominic whined rolling over again.

"Dominic why are you on the kitchen island?" I turned to glare at him not realising he'd taken his shirt off.

He smirked moving to rest his head in his palm, "The surface is cold and I'm hot."

Alfie tugged my arm and I turned back around, "Are they ready yet?" he asked the pointless question. I smiled, the kid really was jealous of Dominic – but he was less than half my age.

"I think so." I replied looking closer, they looked alright. I turned to oven off and opened it to let the air hit the mugs.

We made our hot chocolate with Dominic watching again, sat around the television and watched the movies having reruns on the family channel.

There was a civilised knock at the door, Dominic got up to get it. Instantly I knew who it was when I heard, "Sorry we don't allow trash to enter the house, go find some clothing and maybe you could pass as someone else." Dominic was not subtle with the insults.

"Claire its fine. Come in." I shouted from the living room, Alfie sat cosy on my lap and so I wasn't moving anywhere. I was surprised to Claire was actually wearing track pants and an over-sized jumper. "Dominic's a douchebag, you look cute."

"Oh sweetie I know," she laughed, "He wants me to be a nun."

She turned her attention to Alfie, they shared a crisp high-five but that was about the only contact they had. "He's usually so much more excited when he sees me."

"He has a major obsession with my wife." Dominic casually mentioned as he moved from the hallway to the kitchen.

"Wife?" Alfie was finally joining in on the conversation.

"Not yet." I chuckled.

Claire added, "But pretty much."

"You lied Dominic!" the kid jumped up chasing after the cackling hyena in the other room, honestly Dominic could be such a doof. He was messing with a child.

"They're so cute." I commented watching his little legs disappear down the hall.

Claire nodded, "That I agree with."

--

Claire had left with Alfie not too long ago. I sat on the couch, finishing the movie. Dominic had been walking back and forth, each time with a different set of papers or folders. The boys had been sending him the paperwork he has to do and so he wasn't really off the hook just because he didn't live there anymore. When we'd moved out people wondered why we did so right after Dominic became the boss, he simply said that living somewhere different didn't mean he couldn't do his job and that he wasn't going far anyways. Which I totally agreed with.

He finally stopped the errands and jumped over the back of the sofa so he could slide in behind me, his arms wrapped around my middle and he gently moved me into a spooning position. "You know I've been thinking." he started, I was glad for the conversation because honestly the movie wasn't that good.

I brushed his hair, "About what?"

"I like grand adventures like trips to Greece and stuff," he earned a nod from me, "But I also like normal adventures, like going places on a daily basis - doing normal things can be a world of fun when it's with you."

I smiled, "I agree." 

"And plus," he coughed, "If we were to have children it would be quite convenient were we to enjoy staying in the one place."

He caught me off guard on that one, but I totally agreed. I wanted kids... "I think that's a good idea." I commented.

"The kids part?"

I chuckled, "Yeah."

We'd briefly talked about this before but it had been.. quick. It had been in the heat of the moment, I can understand the need he had to confirm how I actually felt about the idea. I knew I was blushing at my recall of the last time children had been brought up.. it was before I lost my virginity after all. 

"Good." he planted a kiss on my cheek. 


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