Assalam-o-Alaikum!
Update. After many days I know guys! am sorry for being that clumsy :( just had a lot on my sleeves last few days
so hope you will like this :)
Happy reading <3
Chapter 11
Proposal
Hussain sat there in the hotel terrace; his knees bent in, secured by his arms wrapped around, his back straight with the wall and his gaze up at the darkening sky wandering from one star to an other.
so many stars...
Moon, sky, this air how fortunate they are, they don't have to face what we have to in this world.
I wish I was a star, yeah I wished this all of my life but not that star... in real, literally a star up high on the sky, indifferent of the sorrows of this world, this pain, agony and regrets. Stars have to face nothing like that, I wish I was star up there oblivious to the worldly pain.
Looking at the pitch black sky his thoughts wandered and then he slowly shut his eyes.
He came back to his hotel a couple of days back after what happened there in the mosque, he couldn't go back, he couldn't face her. thou he knew he had to; he came here for meeting Tehreem, for facing her and today when he knew where she was and he could easily talk to her his heart was betraying him.
He didn't want to go back, to her.
One thing was for sure, he had no such feelings for Tehreem. Not any more.
He wasn't that Hussain who once fell for her beauty, her face and her innocence. Today the only feeling he had was of regret and remorse.
The only thing he wanted from Tehreem was forgiveness, for himself and for Ibraheem.
Apart of him wanted to face her, talk to her about what happened, about Ibraheem... about forgiveness but hen there was somebody inside him who was hating the idea of even standing in front of her ever again.
And that mosque?
He wanted to help them in building it once again, he had planned all that already and was about to discuss it with Maulana Sahab when all that happened.
But he had to, somehow and he will. He hated the sight of the shattered mosque, abode of his Lord, his Rabb in ruins.
Hussain heaved up a sigh, he felt tired and lethargic as if he won't be able to stand on his feet ever again, as if he was physically here in the hotel but his heart and thoughts still stuck in the mosque.
He felt paralyzed in pain and agony.
....
The man knocked on the door. Once, twice....and after a few more times when he got no response he pushed the door back and peeked inside finding him lost in a book in his hands, his forehead crumbled and gaze so intense he wondered what might be going on in his head?
"Nauman!"
"hm?"
"Naumaaan!" this time he called him a little louder than needed and Nauman looked up, with his facial expression weird, his eyes narrowed at his friend cum colleague who was standing in the door frame of his office.
"Oh Haris! when did you come?" he asked oblivious to his presence on the door for the last five minutes and Haris rolled his eyes, as he shook his head.
"When you were lost in the book" he paced inside and Nauman sighed, keeping the book on the table.
"Am stuck at a point and I have a sermon in an hour" he looked down at his watch.
"Saying the man who has spent his twenty years studying the same book, yeah?" Haris took a seat in front of him, who smiled shaking his head. Every feature spoke of humbleness and selflessness from him.
"my teacher used to say; Khaliq k kalaam ko makhlooq tafseer nai ker sakti" Nauman stated. "I never understood this until I studied every tafseer of Quran, only then I came to realize how vast how broad is the spectrum of this book. Every tafseer of this world, ever mufassir and every Quran scholar can gather at one place with all their intelligence and knowledge still they wont be able to absorb this book all together" he added, touching the cover of the book placed in front of him and Haris smiled, knowingly.
"Indeed. No doubt there"
"But right now I have to tell you something else" Haris added coming to the point.
"go ahead" Nauman urged him to speak.
"there is a girl out there. Wants to meet you, you weren't back to America when she reached here and she is dead insistent upon seeing you" Haris told him.
"Must be a student. Is she still there?" Nauman casually remarked and then added. Haris nodded a yes pointing his thumb at the back towards the door. "Outside"
"Send her in"
Nauman's POV
Haris left my office and within a couple of minutes my door got knocked again.
"Come in"
The door pushed open and I found a young girl stepping inside, she shut the door at her back as she calmly walked towards my table; clad in a simple red long shirt with a trouser, her hair tied up in a ponytail and I could see a back bag hung on both her shoulders.
"Hi!" she smiled and I returned the gesture.
"Assalam-o-Alaikum!" I gestured her to have a seat and she did, keeping her backbag on the seat left to her.
"Walaikum Assalam" she replied and this time I actually smiled.
"Am Nauman"
"I know. That's why am here, I know who you are" she plainly remarked.
"So what can I do for you?"
"Nothing" she shook her head, I frowned at her reply. "I just wanted to ask you something"
I gestured her to go head and she shifted in the seat.
"I like someone and I want to get married"
"Okay"
"but nobody understands" she added.
Ya Allah! I don't know why people wrong me into a matrimonial expert..... this is rather frustrating.
"uh- am not a matrimonial adviser kid!"
"Am not a kid" she seemed grumpy at once. "Would you all please calling and treating me as if I am a kindergarten kid?" she cut me with a cross response and I backed off in my seat, pretending scared.
"Am sorry" I raised my palms up defensively.
"So what can I do in this? Should I talk to your family or his family?" I asked and she lowly shook her head.
"Families are no bog issue, not at least mine" she added the later part to herself.
"though you can convince him, but I don't want that either. I will do it myself" she stated rather decisively and I wondered if everything she was capable of doing then why she came to me?
Was she confused about something?
"so he is unwilling too?" I asked. "then maybe he doesn't like you or he likes someone else. I know you don't want to be piled on over somebody and...
"Its not like that" she cut me again. "he likes nobody. Yei to masla hea unka" again she added the last part to herself and I heaved up a sigh. I think I couldn't do anything for this girl, who already looked confused.
"he thinks am a kid" she added lowly and I frowned. "he thinks am just too young for him. Though am not" she added the last part firmly and then looked down at her hands.
"Am 20. Come on am not a kid" she was talking to herself.
She slowly looked up at my face. "you know him, you know him well" she stated, my frown went deeper. Who could that be?
"Hussain"
She softly uttered the name and I literally got the shock of my life, I could never imagine him. I mean in past so many years I had been convincing him to get married and he just plainly refused every time with a smile and a shook of his head and today here... a decade younger than him wants to marry Hussain? okay!
"Look, I know what you must be thinking at the moment; am only 20 and he is almost 31 there can be no match between us. but let me tell you Mr. Nauman! 20 is not only plus almost 31 is not that too much for 20" she explained. I cleared my throat.
"Why can't this happen?" she added getting a little firm in her tone now.
"Maybe this isn't only about the age, maybe there is something else, maybe he is refusing all this because of a deeper reason by only making this age as an excuse" I tried to be logical thou without any apparent logic I gave.
She looked down at her hands, a pout there on her face and started to fidget with her fingers. "I don't understand logic, I just know one thing that I love Hussain and the most logical and practical way to love him is, as his wife" she lowly stated, looking a little grim all of a sudden.
I knew the past; I knew who Hussain was back then as a super star a heart throb of so many girls but now, today's Hussain is a different person. This girl can not love him because once he was a super star, there must be something else to this strange affection towards him.
"Why Hussain?" I asked out of pure curiosity and her head jolted up, facing me.
"What do you mean why Hussain? I like him, I am not asking him to be my boyfriend, I want to get married to him and trust me he needs me; he needs to move on and forget everything that has ever happened to him in past. Unhen aesa lagta hea k wo Allah ki rah mein nikal aaye hen or sab theek ho gaya hea but NO! he is still there stuck in ten years back... he needs to smile, he needs to live once again. Not for only Allah, for himself as well" she gave me a total lecture I just listened carefully.
"don't give me this look please! I know what you must be thinking of me at the moment" she stated knowingly and I actually went off guard by her reaction.
"ap soch rahe hon ge k pata nai kesi lerki hea khud apne moo se kisi lerkey ki bat ker rahi hea. right?" she asked, more like stating and I couldn't even shook my head. "lerka agar kisi lerki ko pasand ker k propose karey to wo samajhdaar or shareef kehlata hea, mager ek lerki agar kisi lerky ko propose karey to wo behaya. Q?" she asked and I couldn't help but smile at her question.
"Aesa nai hea. our Prophet's first marriage is the best example; Hazrat Khadija (RA) sent the proposal herself for him, she actually liked him for the honesty he had in him." I stated and the frown on her forehead faded. "the only thing is the way you use, the way you pursue things"
"But Hazrat Khadija was sensible and mature enough to take the decisions of that level, marriage is not just an impulsive act, it is the biggest step two people take. So take is wisely" I added.
"and as far as Hussain is concerned, yes, he has gone a little too far from life and worldly things, usey waqai Allah k siwa shaid kam he logo se muhabat rahi hea"
"I don't think I have a good connection with God, am not at that good terms with Him" she responded with a casual frown on her forehead. "but Allah ye to nai kehta na k mujhy yad karo or khud ko bhool jao. Khud k liye hanso he na, muskurao he na, jiyo he na khud k liye" she argumented with herself.
"Yes, indeed Allah never asks us to stop living, in fact He has blessed us all this beautiful life to enjoy and to enjoy and cherish every blessing He gave us here" I responded, she leaned back in the seat a little.
For a few moments she remained quiet I was trying to absorb it all plus I had to calm her down but I just couldn't give her a positive reaction, I knew Hussain he would never agree to this.
"mujhy achey lagtey hen wo, unki batein bhaley samajh nai ati hen mujhy but I believe in them doesn't matter I don't get them" she stated to herself, like a grumpy upset kid... oh! No. not a kid.
"I know we are different; he is pious and religious and steadfast. Allah loves him and I am on the other hand a clumsy girl who never even prays five times a day." She then looked up at me. "but I will change, sohbat ka asar hota hea na?"
She asked the later part with a childlike expectations in her eyes and I had to give a nod to my head.
"So what do you want me to do, exactly? Should I talk to Hussain?"
"No." she shook her head. "you just tell me, am I wrong? Am I wrong in liking him? if I want to marry him, am I committing a crime a sin? agar mein ghalat hoon to waja bata dejiye mujhy. Aesi waja jis k bad merey dil ko or damagh ko sukoon mil jaye, mujhey yaqeen dila dijiye k mein ghalat hoon takey mein Hussain ko bhula sakoon." She demanded, I heaved up a sigh, my lips perched in a thin line.
"Whats you name?"
"Fariya"
"Look Fariya! before answering this, let me inform you that Hussain is in Pakistan" I told her, maybe she will get the picture. but she frowned.
"So?"
I heaved up a sigh and added. "He has gone to meet Tehreem"
Hussain's POV
"So when are you coming back?" Shehry asked and I internally sighed.
"I don't know man! But I think a few more days am here" I responded and heard him groan in frustration.
"Saley! Yahen sab ko jhoot bol bol thak gaya hoon mein, khud to tu mulla ban gaya hea Saley! Jannat paki teri. Mujh se jhoot bulwa bulwa ker jhonk mujhy jahanum mein" I chuckled at his response.
"who told you to lie? It was your idea, I was informing Mom about coming to Pakistan, you stopped me" I reminded him, I stepped in the hotel after the Zuhar prayer.
"Acha chal mera qasoor hea sab. But at least come back now, its been long seriously. Plus I know you would be blaming yourself there" there was a little pause and then he spoke. "and did you meet her again?"
"Nops! I just....
"Mr. Hussain!" I was crossing the lobby, when my feet stopped on a call. I turned around finding a young boy in uniform almost running towards me.
"Hello!" he greeted me with a smile.
"Assalam-o-alaikum!" I smiled back but it soon faded as my gaze landed onto the book he was holding.
"A woman came to see you, she left this for you Sir!"
"Tehreem....."
"Hussain! what happened?" Shehry's voice still close to my ear jerked me up and I blinked my eyes down at the book.
"I will call you later Shehry!"
"But...
"Assalam-o-Alaikum!" ignoring his protest I hung up the call.
"Is she still there?" I asked holding the book.
"No, she just left. She waited in the hall but you....
"oh, thank you!" patting his shoulder quickly I walked past him, I knew she mustn't have left the hotel yet.
I needed to meet her. I needed to sort things out for her for Ibraheem, who had lost every single hope in life. I had to bring the hope back, and I will Inn Shaa Allah
Tehreem's POV
I don't know why I didn't stop, I waited for him to come... but the moment I saw him entering the hotel I just lost all my courage to face him. I don't know if this regret and pain was even justified but I know it was there, deep down in the heart.
"Tehreem!"
My heart stopped beating inside as he called me from behind, my feet halted just near the main entrance and I shut my eyes tight.
I wish I was a little quicker....
I didn't turn. "Tehreem?" this time it came in a low tone, less urgent... a little closer than before. I slowly turned and faced him, standing right in front of me.
He was holding the Quran.
"Assalam-o-Alaikum!" he pressed a smile.
"Walaikum Assalam!" I tried to return the smile but failed visibly.
Silence was never so audible before. "you forgot your Quran at my place"
"Its not mine, I left it where it belongs to" he replied simply, I wanted to gaze in those eyes where today I couldn't find the glitter of a young boy who fell in love with a girl all so unexpectedly, those eyes where once I saw the warmth lingering for me... it wasn't there today.
His gaze was simply and pure.... He was looking at me for the sake of looking, he wasn't staring this time. So unlike the Hussain I knew.
"Uh- I... I wanted to talk to you" his words brought me out from the puddle of thoughts, I looked away awkwardly.
"if you don't mind we can sit here in the hall or ....
He stopped in the mid way, as if he was measuring my reaction. I blinked my eyes to the floor, all of a sudden I felt sweat beads trailing down from the back of my ear to my neck from under the hijab I was wearing.
"this way" he got a side and showed me the way, I already knew. Silently I stepped a head, he walked with me. Quietly.
Entering in the hall, he dragged a chair for me, I sat down constantly shifting in the seat as he took the one opposite to mine, he did not keep the Quran on the table rather kept holding in his hands... as if he was afraid of putting it back, as if it was something too close to be put away.
He was worth that book. Hussian was worth keeping it.
He cleared his throat, with his gaze now slowly moving up to my face a little which was sticked down at the Quran uptill now.
"Thank you and sorry" he stated, I frowned a little.
"Thank you because you rejected me, threw me away and didn't give me a chance to clear anything. Because if you hadn't done that to me, today I would be the same Hussain; oblivious to the purpose of his being. Tum us din mujhy na dhutkarteen Tehreem! to shaid mein khud se or apney Khuda se kabhi nai mil pata" he was saying and I was just looking at his face; where I could see peace along with years of strive.
"And I am sorry for coming back, for once again standing in front of you but trust me I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted forgiveness, for myself and for...
He stopped. I frowned as he looked down.
"for?"
"Ibraheem"
I felt a lump in my throat, a sudden tension a stress in my chest as I heard the name after so many years and his face flashed across my eyes.
Tum apna naam merey naam se juda ker sakti ho mager apna ahsaas nai Tehreem!
Aj tak bus muhabbat ki thi ub ishq karoon ga tum se. tum rok nai pao gi
With difficulty I had to gulp the lump down my throat.
"he is suffering Tehreem! so many days and nights of pain and suffering" I looked at Hussain's face and found agony, his forehead crumbled into a frown and my attention once again diverted to that specific mark on his forehead.
"wo buhat takleef mein hea, is nadamat mein na jee raha na marr raha hea k tumhari halat ka zimedaar hea wo. Per haqeeqat ye nai hea Tehreem!" he shook his head. "it was me. I was the one who should be punished not you, not Ibraheem either"
"I took life and relations as joke, it was my fault then why Ibraheem has to suffer? You have to forgive him and...
"I have forgiven him Hussain!" I cut him through. For a moment he searched my face for the truth and then looked away, slowly.
There was something on his face, in those features as if he was holding something, as if he wanted to throw up the burden from his shoulders or else...
"I have forgiven you too" I added and he looked at me I gulped down under that gaze which he quickly lowered. "mein kon hoti hoon kisi k gunahgaar ya parhaizgaar hone ka faisla sunaney wali, mein kon hoti hoon ap ko maaf na kerne wali, mein to khud gunehgaar hoon" I looked down, trying to hide the moisture in my eyes.
"I wish I hadn't cursed you Hussain! I wish all that had never happened. Aj kam se kam merei aulaad ko merey us ek maghroor amal ki saza na bhugatni perti" a tear dropped down and I quickly wiped the cheek.
"Am sorry about Arsalan" he lowly stated and I shook my head. "Ali Umer deserve fatherly affection, presence of a father is important I know" he added. And then there was silence I kept looking down at my hands.
"Kia ap ne mujy maaf ker diya?" I asked with all the courage I had and heard him chuckled a little. I looked up at his face, he was shaking his head to himself looking down at the Quran.
"Sherminda mat karo Tehreem! you never did anything to me, I told you already am grateful for all that you did. Mein aj jahan mojood hoon tumhari waja se hoon, shaid tumhari bad dua he thi jo dua ka kaam ker gai, merey dil ko sukoon de gai" he was saying honestly.
"meri ek baat mano gi?" he asked and frowned, I couldn't respond. He hesitated for a few moments and then exhaled a breath, shifted a little in his seat before he looked at me. His gaze captured mine and I felt I won't be able to look away.
"Shadi ker lo Tehreem!"
.....
What do you think Tehreem's reaction would be?
And is Hussain being right here?
One word for Fariya?
Guys.... Just a handful of chapters left in TD :( then ALVIDA ;)
Stay tuned for more :*