A/N: Sorry this is short and sorry it sucks!
I Remember
Song: To Live and Let Go
~Summer~
*Flashback*
"Holy crap! You're serious? Beauty school?" I laughed obnoxiously. I could never imagine the boy sitting next to me to have a passion for hair and makeup.
It was our third date. We had just finished mini golf and were now sitting in his parked car next to the beach. It was 8:30 PM and we had just finished watching the sun set. About thirty minutes ago he had just asked me officially to be his girlfriend, even though we had only known each other for four days.
As our first date we went out to lunch. It had only been the day after we met. And then for our second date we went swimming and I told him about my surfing.
Kellin and I had been telling each other our deepest secrets. He told me about his dad, I told him about mine and my brother. He told me about him loving music and wanted a career in that, I told him I wanted to be a rockstar. And then he told me that after high school he was going to go to cosmetology school.
"Don't laugh," Kellin mumbled.
I tried pulling myself together, but a few giggles spilled out. "I'm sorry! I just didn't expect it!" I defended.
He smirked. "Okay, now you gotta tell me something embarrassing about you," he ordered.
I sighed, finishing my laughing fit. "Okay, okay. Well... you are my first official boyfriend. I've never had a boyfriend before you, never been kissed, never had sex, and I've seriously only had guys in my life that are just friends," I confessed. I wasn't ashamed, but it wasn't something to be proud of either.
His eyes widened. "Wow. You seriously haven't ever been kissed before?" Kellin was clearly shocked. I had no clue as to why though. I'm only sixteen, why rush things with boys I didn't like? Kellin is honestly the only boy I've met who seemed... likable, in my eyes at least. He wasn't just a crush, either.
I chuckled and nodded. "Nope. Well, I kind of had my first kiss back when I was fourteen but I don't count that as my first kiss."
Kellin cocked his head to the side. "Why not?"
I shrugged. "Because it was kind of stolen from me. A guy I kind of knew was at the park when I went there with my friends Brenda, Ian, Zack, and Trent. I think his name was Tyler. He had a crush on me so he kind of ran up to me and attacked my face with his. I thought he was weird and the kiss scarred me for life. After about five seconds of struggling, my friends Zack and Trent pulled him off of me and check to make sure I hadn't gotten kiss poisoning from him. And then directly after they checked on me... they beat up Tyler."
He chuckled. "Ah Sunny, that sucks. And it's gross. I wouldn't call that your first kiss. That's more like rape of the mouth." He looked me directly in the eyes while we both laughed at his stupid comment. After awhile he sighed. "You know Sunny, you have really beautiful eyes. I can't get over them," he whispered.
I grinned and decided to get flirty. "That's the point, Kell." I winked.
His eyes grew wide once more as I watched his cheeks turn red in the moonlight. "Damn. You know Sunny... I can... makeup the kiss you lost from that... other boy... if you want," he whispered. His voice cracked though. His cheeks only grew redder.
I giggled, blushing as well. "Kellin, are you wanting to kiss me?" I asked. Why would he want to?
He exhaled and nodded. "I just... I feel like if I don't then... then you will forever be doomed with the terrible memory about Tyson," Kellin said.
I smiled at him. "His name was Tyler and... if you really think it will help... be my guest," I mumbled.
He smiled. The same smile that won me over the other night when I first got here. "I really do think that," he whispered as he leaned in closer to me. "I could make your first kiss..." He got closer. "Worth waiting until you were almost seventeen."
And then he kissed me. My first kiss.
----
"You need to like Harry Potter!" Kellin shrieked as we walked to him house from Jessica's. He swung our hands as I laughed.
"I'm sorry, I just don't like Harry Potter. I'm more into historical stuff instead of wizards," I giggled.
"Gah, Sunny! Wizards are historical... kinda... if you think about it..." Kellin mumbled. I could practically here the stupid grin in his angelic voice.
"No, Kellin. It's not. And you are really insane," I told him as we entered his house and walked up the stairs.
We sat on his bed after shutting the door and he grabbed my hands. "You know, I love you Sunny," Kellin whispered to me before kissing my hands. "Even though you don't like Harry Potter. I'll get you to watch it sooner or later."
I blushed. Kellin was everything I ever wanted and I had it all to myself. Girls all around town wanted him. They probably went to his high school. Guys all around town were jealous of him. He did in fact have their girlfriends drooling over him.
But only I was lucky enough to date him, to get to know him, to let him know me, to give him my everything. I know we might just seem like to kids in a summer romance, throwing around the love word, but that's not true. If it were true, then my birthday night would have meant nothing. And that night meant everything.
I guess you could say it was love at first sight for me. Yes, at first I only loved his looks, but then he opened his mouth and introduced himself and his wonderful world to me. In the matter of only a month and a couple weeks I had found out everything about him. I found out that he could rap and beatbox. I found out that he wanted to be addressed as Kellin Quinn instead of Kellin Bostwick. I found out that he has a wonderful sister and his mom is a nice lady. And I found out so much more.
I was the only one lucky enough to snatch up Kellin when every other girl who knew him practically threw themselves at him.
I sighed. "Okay Kell, I will watch Harry Potter on one condition," I mumbled before kissing his forehead.
He looked up from kissing my fingers, and smirked at me. "What's the condition, babe?" Kellin winked.
I leaned in closely, almost touching my lips to his. "I think you know Kell..." I whispered while he shut his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. I brushed my lips gently against his then pulled away.
He exhaled and opened his eyes, glaring playfully at me. "Sunny, you are such a tease."
----
"Kellin! You and your sister look so happy," I told him as we searched through pictures in his house.
He took the picture in my hands from me and examined it. A smirk crept onto his face. "I remember when this picture was taken. And where. It was last year during the summer time. A couple weeks before August. Like now. Kailey and I were on the beach and our mom took it," he explained.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and got on the tips of my toes to kiss his cheek. He was stilling looking over the picture. "I love that picture of you two," I mumbled into his ear before pressing soft kisses to his neck. My toes were hurting by now, but I didn't care. I enjoy kissing my boyfriend. "You kinda look like James Dean in it."
He laughed and set the picture down on the coffee table, next to a bunch of other pictures we have been looking through. "I agree, babe. I agree."
"Hey, if you're James Dean, then I will be Audrey Hepburn, okay?" I whispered to him, removing my lips from his neck and then bringing them to his lips.
After a short, sweet kiss he replied with a muffled okay.
"And don't forget it, either," I mumbled and sighed.
A summer romance can do things to you. I didn't want it to end. And hey, neither did he. We were both happy. I was planning on staying in Florida, going to school with him. It was going to be amazing. He is my James Dean, and I'm proud to say I'm his Audrey Hepburn.
*End of Flashback*
I opened my eyes slowly, looking around. All I could hear was constant sipping of some liquid and clinking from some sort of metal. All I could see was the hospital room I was in, cords all around my body, and my small tattooed covered arms. All I could smell was... nothing. I slowly moved my right arm up - my left arm had an IV in it so it hurt when I bent it - and felt my nose. My piercing wasn't in it, but a tube was, in my left nostril. I gently tugged at it. "Ouch!" I hissed, moving my arm back down and placing my right hand over my left. That's when I felt that my engagement ring wasn't on me either.
Kellin, who was apparently sitting next to me in a black chair, looked up from his hands and stared at me. He looked tired, hurt, and depressed. His eyes had bags under them, his lips were chapped, his face looked pale, and he sported a frown.
"Kellin?" I croaked. "I remember the car ride, but nothing else. What happened?" My voice was so weak that not only did it sadden Kellin even more, but me as well. Hospitals were upsetting in general, but usually it was the people inside them that made it this way. That made me think of something else. How long have I been in here? Long enough for Kellin to go back to my place and change his clothes, that's for sure. That would be my next question for him, but I had a lot to ask.
"How are you feeling?" Kellin asked quietly, as if he was holding back something. He ignored my question.
"I'm not. I don't feel any pain right at the moment. I'm kind of scared f what's going to happen, but in alright," I told him, my voice getting a little louder. It went from a church mouse to a middle school girl's whisper. "What happened?" I asked again.
"I brought you to the ER, told them what was goin' on, and then they did their thing," he said simply. His left hand was balled up, holding something. But what?
"How long have I been in here?" I asked.
"I brought you here last night. It's almost noon right now."
"Where's my nose ring? My earrings? My engagement ring?" I questioned, now shooting them at him.
His facial expression was as emotionless as a rock as he answered. "Last night while doctors were running tests on you I drove home real quick, changed into comfortable clothes, grabbed you some clothes to change into when they let you out, fed your dogs, and called your mom. Before I left some nurses changed you into a gown and took off all your jewelry. I brought home your dress, heels, and jewelry. I have your ring with me though." He held out his left hand. In his palm were two black and gold engagement rings. Mine and his. That must have been the metal.
Well then, that answered my next question. So my mom knows I'm in here huh... that probably means my sister and band members are aware as well. "My mom knows I'm here... where is she?"
He shifted in his seat and crossed his legs. He still looked as bored as ever though. "Your mom came and talked to me last night. It was the first time I've ever really talked to her since we were kids. She was here with me in this freaking room all night. She left a couple hours ago to get some sleep. Your band members, Trent, Steve, and a few friends also know as well. They said that they will visit you tomorrow when you are home. They hope you're okay now, though."
I slowly nodded. "Oh. Okay," I mumbled. Silence filled the room. I wasn't going to speak anymore, and neither was he. I swear, he is never going to let this go for as long as I live. After about ten minutes of mind numbing silence, a Hispanic nurse came into the room. She looked about my age, a little chunky, and wore black glasses.
"Hello! I'm Veronica. I'm the nurse. You are Summer Parker, right?" Her perky voice rang through my ears and gave me shivers. She was so loud compared to me and my fiancé.
Summer Parker. I don't like it. I like it better as Summer James Parker, with my boyish middle name that I like so much. Actually, I like Summer Quinn better than the other two. Maybe when we get married I could still do the whole first-middle-last stage name thing like I do now. Summer Quinn Bostwick. Whatever my name is, be it Quinn Bostwick or only Quinn, I want his name.
"Yeah, that's right," I told her. My sour attitude didn't phase her.
"Good! Anyway, I just need to ask you some questions and then I will give you two the room," she explained, eyeing the boy sitting next to my hospital bed. "When is your date of birth?"
"July 4, 1986." I answered.
"When was the last time you ate?"
"Umm... I don't know." I answered again.
"When was the last time you had your period?"
"I can't remember. It's been awhile."
"Have you had sexual intercourse before?"
Excuse me? "Uhh... yeah."
"Are you pregnant?"
What?! "No!" I almost shrieked.
She just nodded at my answers and wrote down some stuff on her clipboard. "Okay, last question. When did the headaches and pains from the anorexia start?"
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Kellin's hands formed fists while he glared at the nurse. He wasn't mad at her, I knew that. He was mad that she used the word "anorexia" and I was too. But it's time to face reality. I am anorexic.
"A week ago," I said. They started real bad when I went to Kellin's place.
She smiled at me. "Thank you for answering my questions. I'll be back in about half an hour." Once she left, Kellin exhaled loudly.
"Why, Summer?" Kellin was angry now. His voice was loud and you could practically hear the hatred. "Why did I have to learn about your problems from Steve instead of you telling me yourself?! Why did your band members have to learn about it this way?! It isn't fair to us! Summer, I've told you everything about me. From my embarrassing childhood moments to my deepest thoughts about life and music and love and you and... everything!"
I gasped at his outburst. "I-I... when did Steve tell you this?" Steve told him that I've had problems before now? How could he? Betrayal took over most emotions inside. Even love. I know Steve was just doing this for my health and safety, but we made a promise. He was never supposed to tell anyone!
"He called me at about seven this morning, after calling your bandmates and Trent. I had to learn one of your deepest secrets from Steve. That fucking sucks. What else have you kept from me? Huh? What, Summer?!" Kellin was yelling. Actually yelling...
"Kellin," I said softly, wanting him to calm down. It only made him stand up and start pacing in front of my bed. "I promise you, that anything I've ever down in not bad. I'll tell you anything you wanna know. Just sit, please?" I pleased.
He sighed, running his fingers through his messy hair. It wasn't styled like it was yesterday. He must have showered. He sat down at the end of the bed, near my feet.
"I was engaged before," I blurted out.
He scoffed. "Summer, I don't even know you anymore. Back during Warped you were this sweet, honest girl who liked who she saw in the mirror. Now you keep things from me, dress like a freaking whore, and is in the hospital because of anorexia. It sickens me. It sickens me that you are toothpick thin, it sickens me that I'm not the first man you've ever promised everything to, and it sickens me that my fiancée likes to show her badass rebel side more than the side everyone wants to see. I want to see the sweet girl who I fell in love with back when we were seventeen." And with that, he was up off the bed and leaving the room.
Back when we were seventeen...
Like when I was still a rebellious badass? I went to Florida with the idea that I would be there only for the summer. Then I met Kellin and everything changed. I was rude to my mom on the day she came to visit me and Jessica. I was going to stay there with Kellin. I was in love with him. I gave my everything, including my virginity. And he wants me to be like I was back when we were in a summer love?
I suddenly felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks. How do I have all these memories? "Kellin, wait!" I begged.
"What?" he asked, his back still facing toward me. The hand that didn't hold our engagement rings was on the doorknob. His voice was shaky and would probably crack if he spoke anymore.
If so, then I will speak. "You want me to act like the seventeen year old you met years ago? I was still rebellious back then. Like for instance, when you and I went to the beach that one night, early July, and went skinny dipping when we weren't aloud to. Or when we went to the movies and were so loud and obnoxious that not only did we get kicked out, but we also weren't aloud in anymore."
Kellin quickly turned around and froze, staring deep into my green-blue eyes with the fire rings. His eyes were like diamonds... they were so blue, but still so sad. "But... only I know those things... you don't remember... I never told you those things."
"I don't know how, but I remember," I mumbled to him. "I remember."
He slowly began walking closer to me, examining my... face? Okay then. "So you remember the night we broke up then?"
I nodded slowly, thinking about it. "Yeah, I do," I whispered. I thought about the drinks, and the guy, and what Kellin said. Suddenly I felt angry. "I remember that... I never cheated on. That creep kissed me."
"...What?"
"I-I never cheated. It just looked like I did. And I remember that you wouldn't let me explain." He could now hear the sourness in my voice. I wasn't happy.
"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized. "I really am. I swear. I just felt broken and defeated, just like now, and-"
"Hello!" a man in a white coat walked in, interrupting Kellin. He had a big smiled on his face. He was followed by that nurse, Victoria or whatever her name is.
Kellin sighed. The nurse came over, sat me up, and started taking our chords and the IV. The doctor explained that he would like me to see a therapist every week for the next few months, and that I should have someone watch over me. Well, if that didn't make me feel like a helpless twelve year old, I don't know what will.
After changing from a hospital gown into my clothes and TOMS, with the help of Kellin, the doctor gave me some papers to read over when I get home. Some had addresses to therapists, and some had phone numbers. He gave me information about good therapists here in LA and Kellin had him put down some good ones that are in Michigan. I'm going to be very over the next few weeks. Luckily I don't tour until summer starts. I'll be on tour, supporting another band. Right now my band and I are supposed to be recording our next record. We have a single ready to put out, though.
Finally, I was able to go home. The four of us, Kellin, the doctor, the nurse Vicky or whatever, and myself, were walking out of the hospital room that I stayed the night it. "Hey doc, how am I able to remember things...?" I asked quietly before we separated to walk down different halls.
"Remember what?" the doctor asked politely. Kellin and I explained the car crash and my memory loss to him and he smiled at us. "Oh, well your fiancé, Kellin I believe, told us that on the way here you passed out in the car and hit your head pretty hard on the window. That's why there is gauze around it. I guess the hit made you remember some things."
I raised an eyebrow. "Huh?" I felt my head and sure enough, there was gauze wrapped around my head and a squishy bump where my scar is. I must have hit it hard.
"Oh..." was all I said. Kellin and I walked to the parking lot in silence. He carried a bag that must have held my clothes earlier. His arm was also wrapped around my waist, helping me walk.
Once we got into the car he slipped my engagement ring back onto my finger, as well as his own. He smiled at me before starting the car. "You know, I'm glad you're okay. You scared me. When we get home, though, we gotta talk."
"About what?" I asked curiously.
"About you, Summer. You've changed. And, quiet frankly, I'm not going to deal with it anymore."
A/N: Hey guys! What did you think? Tell me in the comments below! 15 comment? You guys are all bosses! :)
P.S. I would just like to note that Kellin coming from a broken home is not true. A Trophy Fathers Trophy Son is about his step-kids, not him. But, in this story he has no step-kids. So... I am going to go along with the idea that Kellin's dad left when he was young. :)