This chapter is dedicated to timdrakeisnotwhelmed because it was inspired by a conversation we had...
...
This chapter was originally just this picture of an ostrich with a grappling gun... but it sparked an idea...
—
Dick sat on the Wayne Industries building, swinging his feet back and forth. He hummed the tune to a song his parents would always sing to him. 'Alone again,' he thought to himself with a sigh.
It had been a hard week in a hard month in a hard year, and, as per usual, none of his family members cared enough to check up on him. So Dick had gone on patrol. At least this way he wouldn't have to be completely alone.
Sirens in the distance pulled Dick from the spiral of thought he'd been pulled into. He pulled out his grappling hook with another long sigh and swung off toward the noise.
What he found when he arrived was what seemed to be a routine robbery... that was until Dick caught a glimpse of none other than Oswald Cobblepot, The Penguin himself.
It didn't take Dick long to decide to follow the bird themed villain. He was a vigilante after all. He didn't need probable cause to follow someone who was looking suspicious.
Dick followed Cobblepot to the edge of the city where he stopped at an old condemned building that had once been a high school. "Very suspicious," he mumbled under his breath as he snuck into the building as quietly as he could.
Cobblepot made his way to the school's old auditorium, peering through the small window on the door for a moment before opening it and slipping inside.
Dick emerged from the shadows and walked through the school's halls. He couldn't simply enter through the door the Penguin had used... at least not if he wanted to retain the element of surprise, so he looked for anything that might be another way in.
After a few minutes Dick found a small door labeled tech. He carefully picked the lock before entering and climbing the short staircase up to what looked like a control booth. He peered through a grimy window and had to stifle a gasp when he saw what was inside.
Birds of all shapes and sizes roamed through the room, climbing on the stage and perching on the chairs in the audience. There were turkeys, peacocks, penguins, parrots, and there was even an ostrich...
So this is where all the zoo's missing birds had gone.
Dick looked around the small booth and noticed a ladder leading up to a catwalk with the theater's lights mounted next to it, probably something tech crew used for special effects.
Wanting to get a better look at what was going on, Dick climbed onto the catwalk and crawled across, stoping above the stage.
Penguin was bustling about, filling various food and water bowls for the birds to eat from.
Seeing that Penguin was distracted, Dick decided it was time for him to make his move. He carefully made his way to the end of the catwalk and began to climb down to where it met the stage.
Dick was only a few rungs down when the ladder suddenly let out a long creak.
Penguin's gaze snapped up to where Dick had frozen on the ladder, and he quickly raised his umbrella, shooting off bullets as quickly as he could.
Dick cried out as a bullet lodged itself in his thigh. He started climbing down as fast as he could, but only got down a few more feet before his wounded leg gave out and he was falling.
A crack echoed through the auditorium when Dick's head bounced off the hard floor.
Cobblepot's laughter made Dick's head pound, and for a moment all he could do was lay where he'd fallen and try not to succumb to the darkness that was threatening to overcome him.
"I predicted that one of you little birds would come to foil my operation," Penguin said, standing over Dick with his umbrella gun pointed at the blue bird-shaped symbol that stretched across his chest.
Dick groaned and closed his eyes, preparing for the bullet he knew was coming, but it never came.
Penguin stood over Dick, cursing as his umbrella clicked, completely out of bullets.
Dick managed to stand, and, despite the pounding in his head and the way the whole world seemed to tilt, made his way toward The Penguin.
Cobblepot looked up for a second, glancing around before deciding to simply cut his losses and run.
The thought to chase after Penguin didn't even register in Dick's mind as he swayed for a moment on his feet before falling to the ground, finally allowing the darkness to consume him.
—
Dick woke up with Jason staring down at him.
Jason shifted slightly and let out a noise that sounded suspiciously like an ostrich.
"Jay," Dick said Drunkenly, reaching up and wrapping his arms around his brother. He didn't bother being confused about why whatever Jason was wearing felt a lot like feathers, or how the noise Jason made sounded just a bit too much like an ostrich. His concussed mind simply accepted those things.
For a second Dick's eyes cleared and he saw the ostrich standing over him. He looked around the room in confusion, noticing all the birds fluttering around. "What are all these birds doing here?" Dick asked, turning back to the ostrich.
The ostrich let out a hiss which Dick accepted as an adequate answer.
Dick tried getting up, grabbing onto the ostrich for support. "My head hurts... and my leg," he said, leaning against the ostrich.
The ostrich hissed again and moved away from the acrobat.
"Hey! Jason, wait for me," Dick called, stumbling after the bird.
The ostrich hopped off of the stage and made it's way over to one of the nearby water bowls.
"Jason," Dick called again, continuing to try and follow the bird.
Dick stumbled, slipping on the blood from his wounded leg, and falling off the stage with a shout. He whimpered as he finally got a good look at the bleeding hole in his leg. 'I should call for help,' he thought, subconsciously reaching down and pressing the small emergency button on his belt.
A squawk sounded from near the water bowl, and Dick's leg was instantly forgotten. "Jason!" He shouted as he dragged himself over to where the ostrich was squaring off with a peacock. "Jason, don't hurt the birds. They're from the zoo, and we need to return them."
Dick grabbed onto the large bird and used it's back to help pull himself off of the ground. "Let's round up the birds," he said, leaning against the ostrich and hobbling along next to it as it walked around the auditorium.
—
Jason, the real Jason cautiously made his way to Dick's gps location. Inwardly he hoped nothing too serious was wrong, but he had a feeling his hope was in vain.
The scene that greeted Jason when he entered the dilapidated school's auditorium was like nothing he'd ever seen before. There were birds all over the place...
Jason looked around for a moment, trying to find Dick. He eventually spotted his brother stumbling along next to an ostrich.
"Jason, you're going too fast for me," Dick called out, falling to lean heavily against the auditorium's wall as the ostrich continued on its way.
The weird thing was that Dick seemed to be talking to the ostrich... and calling it Jason...
"Dick," Jason called.
"Jason?" Dick said confusedly, turning his head to look at his brother. "Wait a minute... If you're Jason, then who's he?" He asked, pointing back towards the ostrich.
"Dick that's an ostrich... I'm Jason," Jason said, advancing towards Dick slowly, his brows furrowed with worry.
"Stop!" Dick called, his voice wavering. "One of you is lying... there's only one real Jason... but there's two of you which means one of you is an imposter."
Jason looked over at the ostrich and raised an eyebrow. Dick was seriously confusing an ostrich for him? Wow.
Dick swayed and pressed a hand against his throbbing head.
This time Jason caught Dick when he fell and lowered him gently to the ground. "Dickie, it looks like you've lost a lot of blood... and I think you might have a concussion," Jason said, wiping Dick's sweaty hair from where it was clinging to his forehead.
"Corn cushion... nnnnn, my head hurts," Dick mumbled, closing his eyes.
"Scratch that, you definitely have a concussion."