Seaside, California April 26, 2013
Eleanor
MY mind drifted into darkness. Whatever flicker of hope I had to get out of this hell vanished when I found my mother. I never wanted to feel anything again.
But here I was now back home in my kitchen, the daylight streaming through the window. My mother and brother were sitting at the table with me eating to what appeared to be breakfast. It was strange being here.
I felt like I was looking at them through a window pane, even though as I looked around I was inside the house.
Was this a memory?
I heard the sound of a door opening and slamming shut. I saw myself walking into the kitchen, looking like I was about 14 or 15. I still wore those hideous round glasses with my hair in that unflattering ponytail I put it in every day. My uncle followed right behind me with his arms full of bags.
Then the memory changed into night, we were celebrating my brother's birthday. We were all singing and laughing. Then more memories started flashing by, I saw myself getting older. I still stood in the kitchen, with friends and family entering and exiting. More birthdays or parties that were thrown here flashed by.
Why was I seeing all of this?
Then the motion stopped and it was night again. How everything looked and what my mother was wearing now told me this was my last day as a human. She was getting something out of the fridge, the corsage she got for me since I was going stag.
It had beautiful white roses on it with a silver ribbon through it to match my dress. She lifted it up, a huge grin on her face as she started walking toward me. I couldn't even breathe, seeing her so alive and happy started making me want to tear up.
Then I saw myself walk into the kitchen, looking completely embarrassed. I didn't know what to feel of the dress I wore, it was long and silvery. It just about dragged the ground, but I hadn't put on those horrible heels yet.
"Mom you didn't need to get me that," the memory of me said, her face flushing red.
My mother just smiled and beckoned her to raise her wrist up. She did so reluctantly.
"There! Now you are all ready!" my mother chirped.
"I feel like an overstuffed peacock," the old me remarked.
"Wait till tomorrow, you will really feel like one then," my mother grinned.
Ah yes, my birthday everyone was so excited over. I dreaded it, my mother had plans to give me a traditional initiation into the coven like she had when she was younger. All day tomorrow we would be dancing and wearing white with flowers in our hair; which I wanted no part of.
I hated being the center of attention. I rather just be in the background unnoticed as always.
I heard the sound of a car blowing the horn outside. It was Amberly and Eddie picking me up.
"Wait, before you go I need a photo!" my mother exclaimed and dove for her phone on the counter.
"Mom," she groaned.
"Smile!" my mother demanded.
The memory me just did a quick grin and rolled her eyes as my mother snapped at least 10 photos at the same time. I'm sure she got the eye roll.
"Have fun!" my mother shouted as the old me started rushing toward the door in an attempt to get far away from my mother.
I felt myself getting pulled forward, till I was stuck in the living room now. I watched myself anxiously putting on those heels I would lose later that night. My mother followed after her and unlocked the door for me.
"Here goes nothing," I heard the old me mumble as she finished putting on the last heel.
My mother slapped her on the shoulder lightly. "Honey, you will have a wonderful time! Prom night is always special, especially for seniors! Maybe you'll find the one tonight!"
I felt myself and the old me flush.
"Mom, what the hell?!" she cried.
"Hush," my mother grinned and tucked loose hair that was dangling from the bun she did for me. "Go have some fun tonight."
The horn blew again.
"Gotta go, bye!" the old me yelped and bolted out the door.
"Love you!" my mother yelled after her.
I didn't say it back.
My mother just smiled as Eddie's truck took off down the road. I was outside now and watched the door close behind her.
"Did that make you feel anything?" I heard the old me sneer behind me.
I turned, seeing her still in that dress.
"Excuse me?" I scoffed and finally feeling the ability to walk, I strode over to her.
"I said, did that make you feel anything?" she reiterated.
"Was it supposed to?" I questioned. "All it did was show me the last time I saw my mother."
"That's a shame," she sighed. "I thought seeing her again would wake up something inside your stubborn brain."
"Who the hell do you think you are?" I snarled. "What is all of this shit?"
"I am you," she admitted. "The real you. This thing I am looking at now is not me. I wouldn't harm or kill others. I wouldn't have killed that innocent woman at the hotel."
"She was trying to kill me!" I screamed but the other me just started laughing in disbelief.
"They were trying to bring you home," she refuted. "And look what you did. You killed people."
"I didn't do anything!" I spat.
"Okay, so it wasn't you who killed those men in Nevada or Indiana. Or those men in New York," she laughed. "You also didn't try to kill Laura or kill that woman that was with her. That was someone else right?"
"Stop talking!" I hissed.
"No I will keep talking," she retorted. "Shall I start remembering their faces? Should I bring up Laura's horrified look at you as you were about to kill her? Maybe I should remember finding my dead mother on a bathroom floor."
I just lunged at her, but I went right through her and landed on the ground.
"You may shut all of that out, but I cannot," I heard her voice echo.
I was in nothing but darkness now. But I could feel something in me starting to wake up.
"You are nothing but a piece of my imagination," I began. "I am me. You are a weak human that was never able to save herself from anything."
"I am the best parts of you," she refuted. "You are all the worst parts. You are the weak one, a coward who won't face her fears."
I feared nothing anymore.
"If I don't face my fears, why do you hide in the shadows now?" I laughed. "You were brazen enough to before. Are you scared now?"
"No it is you who is scared," she sighed. "That is why you retreated into the darkness. You were the one that remembered all of this. I am nothing but your humanity."
"Well, do me a favor then," I snapped. "Fuck off."
"Nope," her voice giggled, sounding further away. "I will always be here waiting."
I slowly opened my eyes to see the headliner of a car above me. I was sprawled onto the backseat, I could see someone turning their head to glance at me.
"Finally you are awake!" Seana announced. "I didn't think I broke your neck that horribly, I guess I did."
"What?" I rasped and slowly sat up. "Where are we?"
"Almost back to Seaside," Seana replied. "I think we ought to give your mother a proper burial."
"My mother?" I gawked.
Then everything came back.
"Yes, your mother," Seana repeated, annoyed now.
"What happened to Laura?" I asked as I started rubbing my neck.
"I don't know," Seana sighed. "I knocked you out so we could get out of there. I put your mother in the trunk so you could bury her."
"Why would I bury her?" I groaned. "We should've just left her there with them. The coven would have taken care of it."
"I did it as a sign of respect for you," Seana remarked. "Do you want me to just throw her out then and let the buzzards have her?"
"Does it really matter?" I said absentmindedly.
I wanted nothing to do with burying or seeing her again. I didn't want to see anyone from my human life ever again. Not for a moment would I let my humanity back in.
"Well my dear, you have gone quite dark," Seana mused. "But either way, we are laying her to rest properly. Even without humanity, I would never leave my parents in such a state."
"Fine, I'll bury her somewhere then," I mumbled. "Just pull over somewhere."
"Eleanor surely you have some part of you that wants to bury her somewhere decent!" Seana scorned.
I peeled my eyes away from her and frowned. I had no idea where to bury her, not that I gave a shit. My mother did love one place though growing up.
"The lighthouse in Monterey," I said without thinking. "It's south of Seaside."
"Interesting choice," Seana murmured. "May I ask why there?"
"It was her favorite place as a child," I informed her.
"Then we will go there," Seana insisted. "We have about two hours before the sun comes up so we better hurry."
We were almost back to Seaside. I eventually crawled up into the passenger seat and almost sat on a compass-looking thing. She also had a strange medallion around her neck.
"Where did you get the new stuff?" I pondered.
"From that hunter bitch, she went on about how no one could use magic against her, I found this necklace in one of her pockets," Seana explained. "And as for that compass, it is a tracking device that can be used on vampires. That was how they found us."
"Why not destroy it?" I scoffed and held it in my hands.
The entire thing was brass with a needle pointed directly at Seana. That woman must've gotten her blood in Indiana.
"It may come in use someday. We also have plenty of daggers now," Seana beamed. "There are about thirty of them in the trunk."
I just glanced at her curiously and threw the compass in the backseat. We drove through Seaside and finally got to Monterey. The drive up to the lighthouse was bumpy as hell, the road had gotten torn up over the years.
And there it was before us, the Lighthouse. It stood well over 100 feet tall, it was painted red and white, the colors swirling in unison upward. The moon was full tonight, so it wasn't completely pitch dark out.
Seana pulled up slowly to the gate and got out. She easily broke the lock and chain that kept the gate closed and pushed it wide open.
"I'm going to do a quick sweep around to see if anyone is here," Seana murmured and vanished.
I just got out and looked around, hearing nothing but the running engine and crickets chirping. Just as I was going back to the car Seana reappeared.
"We're good," Seana grinned and drove forward.
She pulled up to the side of the lighthouse, next to the small cottage that went with it. I jumped out and started wondering what I wanted to do with my mother.
"Where do you want to bury her?" Seana queried.
"I'm not sure yet, I'm going to go look around and see if there is anywhere without rocks in the dirt," I mumbled.
I headed toward the cliffside, remembering my mother bringing me and Kenny here as children. Whenever the skies were clear enough she enjoyed bringing a telescope and looking up at the stars.
This cliff was one of the highest points on the coastline. Mom usually enjoyed looking at the constellations or trying to see a planet if possible. She had an obsession with seeing Venus. I never really cared for coming but my brother did. That was one of the few things he had in common with our mother.
After walking around for what seemed like forever, I found one spot that wasn't too far from the lighthouse. It was also free of rocks.
Smiling to myself I made my way back to Seana, only to overhear her talking.
"Well, what do we have here?" I heard her chuckle.
I stopped and heard not only her slow heartbeat but that of another. It was beating erratically.
"Mom?" I breathed, unable to even think.
"Trouble, that is what you have," I heard my mother snarl and heard the two of them fighting.
I sped to them quickly, seeing Seana having my mother pinned against the trunk, a dagger raised above her.
How was my mother alive? She was dead when I found her with Laura at the hotel.
Seana glanced at me, her face grinning sadistically. My mother noticed me standing there, her eyes widening with happiness.
"Look who decided to come back from the dead!" Seana giggled and shoved my mother to the ground.
"I don't understand," I rasped. "Laura killed you!"
"No, she did not Eleanor," my mother snapped.
She quickly turned and grabbed a dagger from the trunk and raised it at Seana.
"She did," my mother hissed.
"Yes I did," Seana admitted, not even daring to look at me now. "But I want to know who turned you."
I took a step back, not wanting to believe any of this shit was happening. I felt that lingering flicker from earlier coming back. That weak human side of me.
"Who cares!" my mother laughed. "All I know is that today you will die Seana Kane. You took my daughter from me, now you will pay for it."
"You're just a fledging with no magic," Seana smirked. "I bet you didn't know that did you? Witches have no magic in transition."
My mother never lost her resolve, even when Seana sprang at her.
There was no thought. I just flung myself forward right where Seana was going with that dagger.
It sliced right into my chest and out the other side of me, my hands immediately grabbing onto it as I let out a cry.
Seana appeared shocked and went to pull it out just at the same time I did. It almost went right into my heart. Seana and I locked eyes, just as I noticed my mother was behind Seana and shoved her dagger right into Seana's back, slicing upward.
I never heard Seana scream so loudly. Not wasting a second, I wrapped my hands around Seana's neck and twisted it tightly, hearing the sound of her neck break reminded me of what I did to Scott.
I hated it.
Seana dropped lifelessly onto the ground, just as my knees buckled underneath me.
My mother dropped to the ground beside me and started looking at my chest, even though it was completely healed now.
"Get away from me!" I screamed and scooted away from her frantically.
"Eleanor listen to me!" my mother began to insist but I kept scooting from her.
"You are dead!" I yelled then looked right up at the sky. "This is just another ploy for me to get my humanity back isn't it you bitch!"
None of this was real. That thing in my mind was just going to torture me in any way it could. Now it even brought my mother back from the dead.
"Eleanor, honey," my mother sighed and finally yanked me up. "I am here, I have always been here."
"Go away!" I spat and shoved her away from me.
My mother looked at me completely heartbroken. "Eleanor that woman has completely warped your mind into something you are not."
"Shut up! You are not fucking real! My mind is just playing games on me, so how about you just go back to hell and I can wake back up!" I screeched.
"You sure I am not real?" my mother lamented. She grabbed my hand it put it against her heart. "Do you feel that? I am very much alive."
Her heart was beating so out of control I didn't know what to feel. For a moment there would be nothing then it was beating against at 100 miles an hour.
I just shoved her away again and looked up at the lighthouse.
I just wanted to be alone.
In the next second, I was breaking the door down to the lighthouse. Stairs swirled up forever to the top but I sped up them within seconds. I went out to the edge of it where the light would spin around. Everything was covered in cobwebs and dust. The balcony that wrapped around the top looked very unsafe, but I just took a step out and sank to the ground.
Wrapping my arms around my knees I just stared off at the ocean, wanting to leave this world for good. I could feel my humanity slipping back, but it wasn't much.
I heard my mother coming up the stairs, but it was at a slow mortal pace. When she finally reached me I just glared at her with hatred.
She had tears in her eyes.
"How can you be alive? I found you. You weren't breathing. You had no heartbeat!" I finally cried out. I felt my tears threatening to pour out.
"I was dead," my mother grimaced and took a seat beside me hesitantly.
"Seana wanted to kill me to send a message to the rest of our family," she went on. "But I already figured she would kill me eventually. I was never going to stop until I found you."
"Okay, but how are you here?" I questioned.
"Before Laura and I left to look for you I asked one of your friends for something," my mother smiled sadly. "It is a shame it came down to me having to use it. Scott was hesitant but I convinced him to give me a vial of blood."
"So what, you are going to be a vampire now like me?" I scoffed. "Isn't that one of the biggest taboos in witch history?"
"I don't care about that," my mother sighed. "Right now we just need to wait for the coven to get here."
"You contacted them?!" I yelped. "They are going to kill me if Seana doesn't first!"
"I may have used the last bit of my phone battery to message Celesta," my mother grinned. "So the only person who will be dying is Seana."
"She is going to wake up," I frowned.
"Maybe. But that deep gash in her back will keep her out longer," my mother hoped.
I just started laughing uncontrollably. This whole situation was beyond fucked now. Here I was with my mother with the whole world about to crash down onto me. Clouds started to build up in the sky now, I forgot how long we have been here.
"How did you find me and Seana?" I asked.
"I didn't. Seana actually found me," my mother muttered. "I was just driving blind back to Seaside. We found out through a friend in New York that Seana planned on going back there."
"Then Laura and some lady showed up," I mumbled. "And—"
My mother looked at me questioningly. "Honey?"
"I killed that lady, I even almost killed Laura," I said barely above a whisper. "I don't know what happened after. When I woke back up Seana and I were almost back here."
My mother looked away from me, her face unreadable. I couldn't even say anything else. The flood of self-hatred was coming now. So much so that when the sun came up I wanted it to take me.
"All of this was my fault," my mother choked. She glanced back at me, her gray eyes glassy.
"No, it's not," I remarked and stood up. "I became this. And I deserve everything that is coming. I can't ever face my friends or family after everything I have done."
"Eleanor you aren't thinking straight right now," my mother reasoned. "You will get through this."
"No, I won't," I reiterated.
My mother shook her head and smiled. She stood up and reached for something in her pocket. She grabbed my hand it put whatever she had in my palm.
It was a daylight ring.
"This is the first step in getting through this." my mother proclaimed. "Next is surviving this fight."
I took it from her and slid it on my index finger. It was a small stone, but it was nonetheless beautiful.
Any hope I felt now died the minute I heard the sound of a car engine.
I looked out over the balcony and saw a black Chrysler speeding our way. Not far behind it I heard several more cars coming. Looking down, I also saw that Seana's body was gone.
"Mom," I cautioned.
She had her full attention on the stairwell. We had nothing to defend ourselves with. We were all going to die in vain.
We both watched the stairs just as Seana slowly walked up them, her eyes black pits.
"Do you know how incredibly stupid the two of you are?" she spat.
"Well, you are surrounded by the coven," my mother retorted.
"That's fine, I will kill as many of you as I can then," Seana grinned.
I screamed as I flew at her, using all of my strength I had to stop her from going close to my mother. We crashed through one of the windows, landing right in front of the beacon. She just laughed the whole time as I kicked and clawed at her.
She finally head-butted me and threw me on the other side of the room, my body cracking one of the other glass windows. My mother was already stalking her way over to Seana with a large chunk of glass in her hand.
"The two of you are so funny," Seana cackled and jumped up.
My mother flung it at her just as Seana sped to the side and dodged it. Then she landed a punch to my mother's face.
She went down hard and rolled. Seana was just about to kick her till I shoved her away and back out onto the balcony.
I could hear my mother coughing and spitting something out. I could smell the blood.
"Seana just kill me and leave everyone else alone," I begged.
"I'm not going to kill you yet," Seana assured. "I'm going to kill everyone you love first."
"No you will not—" I fumed till she wrapped her hand around my throat tightly.
"Yes, I will kill every one of them slowly," Seana jabbered on, her nails digging right into my throat now.
She kept running her mouth as I shut her out, listening to the now several footsteps coming up the stairs.
Why couldn't everyone just stay away?
"Kenny stop!" I heard a voice scream at the top of their lungs. It was Lily.
I was horrified when I saw my little brother scramble his way up the steps, his eyes locking with mine.
Seana just dropped me and grinned sadistically at him.
Lily came up behind him, her eyes frantic. Scott was with her too.
"Elle?!" Lily exclaimed, she came up behind Kenny and yanked him behind her when she noticed Seana.
There was no time to talk, I backed up till I was standing right next to Scott. I wasn't fighting alone anymore. It was time I went back to where I came from.
Scott and I locked eyes briefly, till we were flying at Seana. We both shoved Seana roughly through another window, she just about went off the edge.
We both surrounded her, but she went at Scott and the two of them nearly fell as they kept moving in violent motions. She grabbed his arm and twisted it, Lily started screaming and ran toward them, just as Seana said something under her breath.
Before Lily got close Seana lifted Scott and threw him off the balcony, my mouth agape in horror.
I glanced back at Lily, just as she was charging toward Seana.
Lily made a motion of her arm, but Seana just laughed and slapped her across the face sending Lily flying to the ground. It sounded like she broke her jaw.
"Your pathetic magic won't work on me anymore little girl," Seana mocked.
I ran at her again, but Seana turned my way and already had a shard of glass in her hand. She shoved it into my gut and twisted it.
I spat up blood as she kept twisting it. But someone grabbed Seana and pried her off of me.
I went down again, clutching my stomach in agony.
I heard Seana scream in pain, the sound of something being gouged into her made me start smiling. I looked up to see Zach with his claws in her. But she was even able to shove him away.
Why did Seana always win?
"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to protect you from this," I heard my mother cry but I couldn't see her.
I couldn't see anything anymore. I didn't know how much blood I lost now.
I tried to get up, but the piece of glass was still shoved deeply into my stomach. I started pulling it out, a silent scream coming out when I got it out.
I focused on two figures now, my vision attempting to clear. And it did, only for me to see the most horrible thing in this short life of mine.
My mother and Seana went right towards the railing, their arms hooked around each other.
I started dragging myself to them, wanting to shout but I couldn't find my voice.
Then the both of them were gone. Seana went over first, just as my mother followed her.
I knew my mother wouldn't survive that fall.
I heard screaming and shouting. I could hear more people up here now.
I felt the floor under me become metal, at least I knew I made it to the balcony. I felt something warm touching my skin, it looked bright. Everything looked brighter around me.
I stopped dragging myself and laid flat on my back, looking up just as someone was over me, I felt their tears fall down my face. It got closer, till my brother's face materialized in front of me.
I felt another pair of arms sit me up, just as my brother wrapped his arms around me tightly. I heard Lily's voice muttering things to me, but I couldn't hear them.
At least she survived Seana's wrath. All of us did in the end. But at what cost?
I just started sobbing and felt like my entire body was paralyzed. They both held onto me tight, just as the last piece of sanity in me snapped.