Baddest In Town 2

Chapter 40

"At first I was just trying to make our relationship work but.. I realized it won't work out unless we both change so I just- You know, stay with her for the sex.." He admitted.

"And trust me I know that's wrong, but Denise ain't a saint either. She keeps on doing shit that makes me so fucking mad and I'm so sick and tired of it, like give a nigga a break man" He continued.

He's not wrong because Denise indeed does shit that annoys everyone. It all started with the deadbeat comment, that was the moment where a lot of people within the family and friend group started to dislike her and I don't think they every changed their minds. Most of the guys just ignore her or act nice for Lonzo's sake but in reality they hate her.

"I think it's time you have a serious talk with her and tell her how you're really feeling. I seriously think she's having a burnout or something, she needs to find herself again and not only for her own sake but also for Zoey's" I stated.

"Yeah I know" He sighed.

"You growing up now huh? No childish shit anymore" He looked at me with a small smile.

"I have to" I mumbled while looking down at my belly.

"You've always been more mature than other people your age tho" He said while turning the tv on.

"I know but.. This is different, I can't do reckless shit anymore like I use to do before I got pregnant" I said quietly.

A sudden wave of emotion came over me. Feelings that I never rarely about came to the surface, and I wish they didn't.

Damn pregnancy

"Aye don't be sad. I might be regretting a lot of shit I did with Denise right now, but having Zoey is definitely not one of them. Having a child is honestly the greatest gift you can ever receive. I know it sounds corny and to be honest I didn't believe it either when people told me but it's true. Yeah you have to grow up faster and you can't do all the dumb shit you used to do before but it's worth it in the end" Lonzo said.

I threw my head back and stared at the ceiling while letting out a deep breath.

"I'm scared Zo" I whispered.

"Of what?" He asked.

"I'm scared of becoming a mom" I finally admitted it to someone.

I've been scared for a good minute I just never told anyone because I didn't want to make them think I'm not ready for this, even tho that's exactly what's going on right now.

"Why? You're good with Zoey and she's one bad ass kid" He tried to make me feel better.

"It's not just that, I'm scared of giving birth.. I'm scared of the pain and knowing that there's a possibility that things can go south. What if die or what if something happens that leaves my baby disabled for the rest of his life?" I nervously play with my bracelet.

"I'm scared of becoming a mom because, what if I resent not being able to spend my time the way I want to anymore? What if I slip in a period of depression again because I just don't know how to cope with my new life?" I could feel the tears coming and there wasn't much I could do to stop them.

"I'm worried that I'll say the wrong things out of frustration or that I'll  lose my shit with him and make him feel unwanted. I don't want him to feel like I felt all those years when I lived with my parents cuz my mom treated my like shit, I'm terrified of becoming her.. I don't want my son to go through the things I went through, I don't want him to feel like shit every day and I don't want to be the reason why he's crying at night. I'm so scared of becoming my mom Zo" I whispered the last part as the tears rolled down my face.