𝐙𝐚𝐫𝐚|𝟏| [𝟏𝟖+] ✔

Chapter 18- Theo

Cara, my ex-girlfriend, even she wasn't enough to change me. We were together for nearly five years. Do you know how much I held my tongue for that bitch? Too fucking much.

We were more toxic than my current state of mind.

I was prepared to stay with her when gas started seeping through our streets, but Drew and Alex knocked seven shades of shit out of me and dragged me out of there.

She was needy, moody, and demanding that we had kids and all this fairy tale pish that I couldn't give her. Not that she didn't try to trick me into it a few times.

The chances that I turned into the type of father that raised me, wasn't fair on any child.

I couldn't take that chance, even if I wanted to.

From the first time I fucked Zara, I made sure she had her pill, took it regularly and kept her stocked up.

I watched her with her brother, playing with paints and colouring books that I found for him. I said it was Alex who found them, so she didn't get any ideas.

I was given an easy task. Completion of it resulted in me being done with the programme and putting a stop to all the torture they put me through.

Get close to her, kill her.

Walking past the testing room on route to my dad's office, the memories haunt me.

They medicated me in there, drugged me, made me slowly lose my mind by putting me through shitloads of pain, using different methods.

Drowning, only to be resuscitated.

Battered with different objects.

Temporarily paralyzed.

I was made to take another person's life... multiple times.

I've been on the brink of death so many times that I no longer fear it, but I do fear anything happening to her.

But that's the plan. If I don't fear death, then I'm basically one of the most dangerous humans there is. All my dad needs are enough people to form an army of dangerous sociopaths, I'm still not entirely sure why though.

He was slowly stripping me of any deep emotion, sanity, everything.

I have an inner battle against everything, the voices in my head urging me to kill. The stronger my feeling get for Zara, the more I fight it.

I try to keep that part of me locked down, and picture her face when I'm taking my last breaths for the hundredth time.

She saved me without even realising.

As soon as the orders came in, two years after I was assigned to Zara, the ultimate test to see if my emotions have been stripped bare, I couldn't do it.

Two days later Alex was killed.

A week after that, Cole turns up injured.

One of the guards told me he broke one of his bones, so I broke his neck, shoving his body in a ditch. When I made my way out, I ran right into Zara, blurting out about Cole's broken arm.

She probably still thinks it was me who hurt him. I'd never mistreat a child, fuck, no, never.

I kept my distance from Cole most times but, fucking hell, it hurt feeling him go limp in my arms, and even worse when I heard Zara screaming.

My dad smirked at me, turning and continued to shoot the rest. Zara pushed me away from Cole's body, slapping me hard across the face.

She ignored every word that left my mouth.