𝐙𝐚𝐫𝐚|𝟏| [𝟏𝟖+] ✔

Chapter 6

I wake through the night and Cole is fast asleep next to me, in the exact position from hours ago. Wrapped in Thomas' blanket, I have the urge to hold it to my nose for his scent.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I have a boyfriend who needs my help.

Thomas is still on guard. So, I take a walk not far from Cole, so I can keep a close eye on the tent.

Thankfully, Thomas is sat with his back to me, staring at nothing.

"Can I sit with you? I can't get back to sleep. Cole is asleep still." I say as I sit down anyway, our hands are inches apart as we lean on the wall behind us.

"What's your plan with Theo then?" He looks down to his feet and kicks around some dirt. "I know you're going to go find him, so can you at least tell me what you plan on doing against a group of armed men?" He sounds upset, like he's been thinking about it for a while. His hand slips and covers mine and I don't pull away, but he does, which makes me feel slightly uneasy.

"I really don't know, to be honest. Go with the flow? All I know is I need to get him back." I replied, exhausted.

"Why? tell me why you want to save him?" He questions me without looking up. "He treats you like a piece of shit on his shoe that he can't scrape off. You deserve better than him."

"You mean... you."

This comment made him look up, no one was ever going to be good enough for me in his eyes, unless it was him.

"Nah, I'm not good enough for you or we wouldn't be sitting having this conversation and you know it. I've never been someone who fulfilled your every need and I have no clue how to do that. Theo doesn't even do that; you just want him because of who he is and believe he actually loves you. I'm just the guy standing banging on a glass window, getting nothing in return except when you are bored and needing attention."

Wow.

I try to say something, but no sounds come out, what made me feel worse is the disappointed look on his face when I eventually try to defend Theo.

"He does love me. How would you know? You're just someone who doesn't know how to take a hint and fuck off." I slap my mouth shut and regret the words instantly. I don't mean any of it but the anger building up has me throwing word vomit everywhere.

"Hint taken." He mutters as he walks away from me, not looking back to see if I follow him or not. My heart is telling my legs to run, move or at least take a step in his direction and try to fix this, but I'm frozen.

I didn't mean a word I said.

I sat on the wall for another hour, waiting to see if he would come back but he never did, and I don't blame him.

I have this horrible feeling clawing at me and my heart is beating at an extremely unnatural rate, I feel like I could vomit up all my insides at any moment.

I know what is happening, I've realized that I do care for Thomas. I do have feelings for him that would confuse a relationship councilor. I didn't want this to be it for us, but what does this mean for Theo? I loved him so much and the thought of not being with him made me feel dizzy.

What is happening to me?

My life was slowly turning into something I would binge on Netflix while eating nachos with my friends.

Fuck this.

I go find Claire and ask her to watch Cole. I need to find my missing boyfriend.

She is such a good friend to me who loved Cole, so she agreed and goes in to lie down with him.

"Don't tell anyone where I'm going, it will just cause a lot of shit that I can't be fucked with." I give her a quick hug and thank her.

I head to my tent and get ready, pulling on my trousers and top. I pack a bag of essentials in case I find myself stuck somewhere, get lost or even worse, captured.

"Where the fuck are you going? No, Zara. Not a chance." Thomas grabs my bag and pulls it off my shoulders, throwing it out of my tent then attempt to unzip my heavy coat, but I bat his hand away.

"This has nothing to do with you so back off Thomas. Go back to your guard duty, before someone sees that you aren't actually doing anything." I yelled at him as I push past and collect my bag from the ground again, stomping away from the camp with Thomas trailing behind me.

"I can't let you leave, and you know it. Put your stuff down and go back to bed before you make a massive mistake. Do you know what they'll do to you? You wouldn't last a second in there." He snaps at me while pulling me back to my tent.

I tell him no and push past one last time before he gives in.

"You'll regret it, Zara, and who will Cole have to raise him, huh? What happens when you don't come back? I'll be the one to pick up after your shit and show Cole how to survive in this place because it surely isn't you showing him that. I mean it, Zara. If you leave then we are done." He shouts as I walk further away from him.

I feel tears sliding down my face and even more when I can barely make out what he's shouting. I heard him say we'd be done if I left, how could we be done if we were never together?

I've been walking for about an hour now and I can no longer see the camp or the smoke from the fire, complete darkness. I freeze trying to find shelter from the ice-cold winds. Part of me regrets it already but I needed to do something to help Theo, he would do the same for me.

Wouldn't he?

Of course he would, the guy would kill anyone who laid a finger on me.

What would he do to Thomas if he found out?

Theo is older than me by five years, turning twenty-four in a few days.

I can picture Theo's face as his lady in shining armour rescues him from those asshole guards.

He can't say shit, he did train me after all.

He is, however, going to flip at me for being so reckless.

This is the kind of stuff he prepared me for, so it's his own fault.

I survive a few more hours in the horrid conditions when I reach a metal building that looks like an aircraft hangar with a few too many guards patrolling its surroundings. I need to think practically here, one nineteen-year-old against thirty-odd men, armed with assault rifles. This will get me a first-class ticket to hell.

Could I do this? Can I save him? Surely not on my own. Thomas was right, I would regret it and now I am. Why did I not have back up? Because you're an idiot, that's why.

Fuck it, I turn to head back down to the camp when I walk straight into Theo himself. He's in the uniform the assholes patrolling the grounds behind me have on.

"Zara?" Theo ran at me, his arm wraps around my waist and pulled me to his chest.

"What the fuck, Theo. Why are you wearing that?"

He pulls me down to the grass. "We need to get the fuck out of here." He whispers and pulls me until we are out of sight, tightening his hand and glancing at me over his shoulder the further we got from the base.

I suppose I will be walking back with Theo hand in hand, so it wasn't for nothing. I have a strange feeling about it all though.

Why didn't he look like he was sneaking around, trying not to get caught? He just walked right into me without a care in the world.

He looked surprised to see me.

-OLD VERSION-UNEDITED