The Pessimist

~Chapter 24~

Olive Gail

"I think you two need to go and have a talk?" Ivy said.
I didn't know what I would say to him. I don't think he would know what to say to me.  It was so out of the blue. Not that I really believed him. No one could love me. Especially not Nick.
"I just-"
"No no don't do it here. Go out and properly talk" Ivy suggested.
"Come on Olive" Nick sighed and I followed him out of the book shop.
I walked a step behind him so there was no way that we could make awkward eye contact. I didn't know where we were going but I didn't really care.
Part of me wished that Harry was just round the corner and would come and save me from this awkwardness.

Eventually Nick stopped and turned to face me in the middle of the street.
"Where do you want to go?" He asked and I shrugged my shoulders avoiding his gaze. "Not helping Ol'" He said and I scoffed.
"Well I wasn't really prepared for this"
Nick didn't say anything back. He just stood looking up and down the street as if, like me, he was praying someones would come and give one of us the excuse to not talk to each other.
I closed my eyes briefly and sighed.
"Do you want to just come back to mine? Mums not home"
Nick nodded and we began walking the short distance across the park to where I lived. Though I was quite reluctant to go back to my house with Nick, I knew it would be better than sitting in silence with each other in public, observers judging our silence.
The only one that could judge us at home was Gerty, and I doubted she would be interested in Nick's sudden confession of love.

I opened the door and let him in. As predicted Gerty didn't do more than open her eyes from her sleeping position on the sofa.
"Would you like a drink?" I asked.
"Do you have tea?"
"Of course" I sighed and he nodded. "I'll make us both one"
I walked quickly into the kitchen and placed my hands on the counter top, trying to calm my anxiety.
I didn't know what to think.
It was so unreal to me.
I tried to take a few slow breaths so I could sort my thoughts but my sorting was interrupted by a knock on the doorway.
I stood up straight and got the mugs and the tea bags out of the overhead cupboard.
"They'll be done in a second" I said flicking on the kettle.
"Olive," Nick said and I crossed my arms over my chest as I turned to face him. I couldn't read exactly what he was thinking which bothered me.
"Yeah?" I said trying, but failing to push a smile on my face. 
"I don't know how to start" Nick said.
"Why don't you wait in the living room and I'll bring the tea into you? Then we can talk properly" I suggested, not wanting to be watched by him any longer. Then I could figure out what I was going to say to him, and predict what he was going to say to me. Not that I could have ever predict this kind of situation.

I slowly carried the tea into the living room where Nick was sat on the edge of one of the sofas. I placed the cup in front of him and he quietly thanked me. I chose not to sit next to him and instead sat on the sofa opposite the sofa he was on. I waited for him to begin speaking, staring at nothing, sipping on the boiling tea.
"Say something" I said suddenly, almost surprising myself at how sudden it had come out.
"I don't know what to say"
"You just said you're in love with me. Since when? Why now?" I asked desperate to know where the sudden outburst of feelings had come from.
He searched my eyes and I searched his.
Still he said nothing.
I raised an eyebrow to try and push him to talk.
"Nick please"

"Olive I've always had feelings for you. Ever since we started working together. I love how quirky you are and the way you speak. I love the way that you wear that yellow coat every day without fail. I love the way you read the books in the store and the way you admire them. I love the way you get frustrated and worked up so easily. I love how we can laugh together. I just love everything about you. I know I haven't always been nice to you but I never wanted you to know. I didn't know how you would react. I didn't want to ruin anything that we had built up. I'm sorry if this has thrown you off. I really am." He said and I could just sit there in shock.
I didn't believe him.
There was a part of me that wanted to yell at him for not being honest with me.
Yet there was another part that felt he was being honest and maybe he was telling the truth.

My head was stuck in a triangle.
I wanted to think about Harry. What was he doing? Was he working? Could he be thinking of me?
Yet my mind was flooded with thoughts of Nick and what was happening in this moment.
I didn't know how to react what do I say now?
I was awful at this.

"Nick I'm not sure what to say" I said. I couldn't draw my eyes away from him. He looked almost saddened. I thought his eyes were gleaming from the light through the window, but I soon realised that it was tears in his eyes.
"Please don't cry" I said and stood up from my place on the sofa to sit beside him. I wrapped my arms around him and he sniffed as he placed his head on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry." He said as he sat up again.
"Don't be. It's ok." I said trying to be as comforting in my voice as I could.
Nick locked his eyes with mine and I only realised too late that he was leaning his lips towards mine.