The Pessimist

~Chapter 4~

Harry Styles

I had everything yet felt like there was something missing. I had money, a nice house, good friends, a loving family, invitations to parties and I was flirted with every time I stepped out of my house. I had a good job working in business, my own office and team and one of my good friends Henry working as my boss.
Henry was a good man and was one of the youngest CEOs there was at 30 after inheriting the company from his father. We went out together a lot and last year he had promoted me to his advisor after I had graduated at 22 with the best degree you could get.
But i felt that there was something missing. I felt it every time is stepped through the threshold of my house alone.

I felt lonely. Most evenings I was left on my own just to think. Sometimes I thought too deeply as I sat in front of the TV and drank. It got hard being on my own sometimes and I sometimes wished I had a girlfriend again.

I made sure that none of my break ups were messy and tried to remain friends but that didn't matter. I was still on my own. I just hadn't met any other girl that I could see myself being with.

I tried to make the loneliness go away by various one night stands and make outs in clubs but they never helped. It made me feel bad but I didn't want to be with the girls. I just wanted to stop feeling alone.

But I believed in love. It was an amazing feeling to be in love and I loved being in a relationship more than being single. Sure the single life was great but generally I wanted to be in a relationship.

"You're in your head today Harry I can see it" Mum said as I met her for lunch.
I shrugged and kept my eyes focused on the food in front of me.
"Come on Harry talk to me. What's wrong?" She said and placed her hand over mine.
"I just feel alone sometimes Mum. When I'm going home every night just in my own just drinking and left to my own mind. I just feel alone" I said and she gave me a sympathetic look.
"Do you want to come live with me for a while? Your old room is still available" she said with a smile.
"No. Thank you but I've still got work to do" I said and she sighed.
"Just because you're working with one of the biggest companies in London doesn't mean you can't come home. Henry is your boss! He'll understand!" she said and I nodded.
"No I know but I'm sure it'll pass" I said.
"Go and find a nice girl there's plenty out there" she shrugged.
"Haven't found one yet"
"Harry you're 24for Christ's sake stop moping and go to a club or something" She sighed.
"That's the thing. I don't want some girl in a club. I want a proper girl"
"There's proper girls in clubs"
"I don't want to talk about this anymore" I sighed and brushed my hair off my forehead.

After we had finished lunch I decided to go for a walk round Hyde park. It wasn't too far away from where I lived and the fresh air would clear my head. I walked around the park for a bit before slumping myself down on one of the benches. I closed my eyes for a moment before I heard the sound of jingling. I opened my eyes and saw the sweetest little dog tottering around. Maybe I should buy a dog. That would help. Right?
I swallowed hard as I felt the sadness rising.
"Gerty" I heard a girls voice say and I looked to see a girl in a bright yellow raincoat. She bent down and the little dog trotted over to her.
Gerty. What a strange name for a dog.
I looked at the girl further. She was very attractive, yet I could tell there was something about her. Something different. But she had walked past before I could even look at her twice.
I sighed. Maybe I was just meant to be alone.