[ FINISHED - do not submit an oc, i will not do it ]
hi everyone. my names Jam (they / them) and this book is finished. its done. im not rating ocs anymore, thank god, so do not submit an oc or i will delete it. im serious. if youre curious about it...
Appearance: Valerian is a stunning dragon. He has jarring emerald eyes that shimmer like sunlight filtered through the tree canopy. His body is mainly a mixed palette of browns, with some golden hues splashed over certain spots. His underbelly plates are a pale brown, and they stretch from his neck down to his tail. Valerian has long, smoothly curved horns and sharp hickory claws. His features are clearly defined. Valerian's body is lithe and muscular, but he is not small (just tall rather than wide). He has large, moss green wings with the traditional leaflike pattern indenting them. When the sun hits just right, his wings seem to glow with the warm light. Some of the fins running down his back and tail have been ripped.
*He doesn't usually wear jewelry, and will only indulge in it on special occasions.
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(art by owner, CrackpuddleWP, on deviantart. link: https://www.deviantart.com/crackpuddlewp/art/LeafWing-OC-Valerian-819241849)
This is very descriptive, and he sounds pretty! Nice art btw.
Personality:
{Positive} - Persuasive - Valerian has a talent with words. He has a smooth way of speaking to dragons, playing to who they are and what they want. Valerian can almost always stabilize an argument or commotion, and is very skilled at getting what he wants when he wants it. Natural Leader - Valerian was raised to be a beacon to his colony. He is strong and confident speaking to the dragons under his command. While Valerian is skilled at the leadership technicality, he usually has to pretend to be emotionally invested.
{Neutral} - Analytical - Valerian is able to assess a situation and make quick decisions concerning it. He often thinks in numbers and facts rather than emotions and heartfelt choices. Valerian is incredibly talented at finding solutions for physical problems - but when it comes to other dragons, he often has a hard time truly caring for them. Level Headed - Before Valerian met Phoenix, he almost never lost his temper. Valerian is able to keep a straight face through
{Negative} - Selfish - When it comes to most other dragons, Valerian tends to regard them as pieces to move in his own board game. Of course, Valerian does care about certain dragons. But (besides Phoenix) he thinks primarily of himself and will do what he needs to for his own triumph... even if it means manipulating and knocking others out of his way. Controlling - Valerian is a leader by birthright. His mother has ingrained the idea of dominance into his mind, making Valerian think he can have anything he wants. Because of this, Valerian tends to over-control other dragons and be way too bossy when giving directions. Usually, he doesn't even realize what he's doing
Again, this is very descriptive. The flaws and virtues work well together, and he has a nice mix of them. Good job!
Occupation: Valerian is the unofficial prince of Pyran. He is taught along with the other young adult LeafWings, but privately mentored by his mother - in Leafspeak and leadership - and Larkspur (his uncle) - in combat.
Cool.
Residence: Pyran, a small island some ways off the Pantalan coast. Valerian's mother was one of the LeafWings who originally came to the island to avoid slaughter by the HiveWings (thus, the Pyrans are neither SapWings nor PoisonWings). Valerian secretly wants to leave the confining island.
Nice.
{Parents} - Both pureblood LeafWings, Yarrow and Maclura. - Yarrow is, again, the Pyran leader. Maclura is a kind of distant father, he's basically never involved in Valerian's life. {Siblings} - None. {Mate} - None, but he eventually develops a crush on Phoenix. :) {Children} - None. Yet.
Nice names.
Backstory: Growing up, Valerian was isolated from the other Pyran LeafWing dragonets. His mother, Yarrow (the unofficial monarch) kept a firm grip on him and everything he did. She made sure he studied and trained almost every hour of the day, even from when he was just a little dragonet. Due to this, Valerian developed a loneliness to him. Eventually, he worked that loneliness into a kind of bitter strength, a way to overcome challenges and get what he wanted. This didn't stop the urges of a normal dragon life. One time, Valerian brought home a little tropical bird with a broken wing. He ran to his mother and begged her desperately to let him care for the animal. Valerian had never had a pet or a friend of any kind, and he thought maybe the bird could be a sort of substitute. Yarrow had merely glared down at him and snapped the bird's neck. She convinced her son that she wanted purely what was best for him. Due to this, Valerian continued his hard work in every aspect of his life - that she dominated. Confined to the little island of Pyran, Valerian did not have much to do except sulk and develop his skills alone. However, Valerian quickly learned that he could not become to leader his mother desired if he was a miserable dragon to be around. Observing carefully what other dragons did, Valerian learned how to smooth talk the dragons in the colony. He learned little ticks and signs in dragons, how to persuade one, how to feign a warm companionship to a dragon he couldn't care less about. One day, a terrible storm came down on Pyran. Usually, the LeafWings would huddle together in a storm shelter until it passed. However, Valerian had been caught out on the coast after falling asleep when the afternoon had still looked bright and clear. Before he could run back to the colony, though, Valerian noticed a distinctly colorful shape in the darkened sand. Washed up on the shore was a dragon like none he had ever seen before. Valerian managed to drag the anomaly back to the colony, where both were regarded with distrustful stares. When the storm passed and the dragon came to, Valerian discovered his name was Phoenix, and he had escaped from a mysterious second continent named Pyrrhia. The two dragons became unlikely close friends and eventually develop feelings for each other.
Nice! It sounds like the beginning of a fanfiction, so I can't really say anything about the abrupt ending.
Abilities: Valerian has Leafspeak, which he inherited from Yarrow.
Alright.
Other: >Despite being a natural leader, Valerian actually has an intense fear of being trapped in a crowd of dragons. They are the one thing that can make him seriously panic. > Yarrow doesn't let Valerian develop many other hobbies, besides studying and practicing battle tactics. Despite that, Valerian secretly keeps a miniature garden in which he tends to diligently every day. His flowers are the most gorgeous and sweet-smelling on the entire island. > And finally. Despite being a tough dragon, Valerian enjoys many gentler parts of life. These include sunlight, light rain, fruit, literature, birdsong, and streams/ rivers.
Aww cute.
Overall, I give Valerian a 9.5/10. Honestly, just finish developing his backstory and he's perfect.
