( FINISHED ) Wings of Fire OC Rating

Moonbeam

OC belongs to @DocksideEatPool

Name: Moonbeam

Kinda of a 'eh' name, but it works.

Age: 5

Alright

Gender: female

Cool

Sexuality: Straight

Okay

Tribe: Icewing/ Nightwing (ice wing base)

I assume when you say 'IceWing base' you mean she looks more IceWing like?

Appearance: scales: dark purple, under scales(?): light purple, horns: white, eyes: light blue, wings: light purple with a few white stars scattered around

These are good colour wise, and while I'm assuming she as an IceWing bodyshape, you need more details like her height, weight, claw colour, etc.

Personality: Shy, quiet, hopeful, scared easily, nice

This needs some more positive and negative traits. (Maybe because she's shy and scared easily, she's lonely and socially awkward. However, maybe because she's quiet, she's observant of those around her.)

Occupation: Well known as a disgrace. not much.

Oh man.

Residence: Nightwing volcano

That must not be nice for her IceWing half.

Relatives: Biological parents names are unknown but her dad was an Icewing and her mom was a Nightwing.

Alright.

Friends: She has none except for her imagination

Oof?

Backstory: Her mom and dad met when her mom was out hunting and found her dad wounded on the ground. they had an egg and out came Moonbeam in the Icewing territory. An Icewing saw the egg hatch and a hybrid came out. The Icewing told the queen and the queen hired hybrid hunters to kill Moonbeam and prison the parents. The hunters found her dad and he wouldn't tell where Moonbeam was, so they killed him as Moonbeam watched from the bushes. her mom was found while hunting and prisoned without questioning. the last thing she heard from her mother was "run that way and don't look back. go to the volcano. my friend will let you in." She fled to the volcano and she usually gets bullied and she doesn't get fed all the time. An animus came to visit their dragonet while the guards were busy fighting some dragons and saw Moonbeam. He handed her a rock shaped like an icewing that could heal things.

This has a few missing details / plotholes. It's a good base, but it needs some fleshing out. Why would her mother save her father when in canon, IceWing and NightWings hate eachother (and if one found a dragon from the opposite tribe wounded / defenceless on the ground, they would probably just kill them). If an IceWing saw the egg hatch, does that mean they knew about the parents too? Why would her mother tell her to go the volcano — where the NightWings would hate her and the heat would be bad for her? Why would the animus randomly give her an enchanted item? Who was the animus, was it a NightWing or some other tribe?

Abilities: frost breath and she has an animus touches Icewing shaped rock that can heal stuff

Did someone carve the rock to be dragon-shaped or ...?

Overall, I give Moonbeam a 3.5/10. Work majorly on her appearance, personality and backstory, and maybe give her parents names.