( FINISHED ) Wings of Fire OC Rating

Charidottella

OC belongs to @FlickeringFire

Name: Charidottella (Chari)

Oh, this is really cool. Good that she has a nickname, tho, Charidottella is hard to spell lmao.

Age: 10

An adult, okay.

Gender: Female (She/Her)

Neat.

Tribe: HiveWing

Cool. I like HiveWings, actually.

Sexuality: Straight, though she could possibly be Asexual

Alright.

Appearance: Rose gold mainscales, with rose pink wings. Black splotches covering her wiry body. Twisted horns. Plump, short build. Rigid posture. Talons are dull, along with her teeth. She wears a rose pink faux fur coat a lot of the time, with a gold necklace with rose quartz embedded in it. She also has rose quartz embedded in her wing membranes, plus her eyebrows. She wears golden bracelets and horn rings, and wears golden tail rings. She wears anklets embedded with sky fire.

Oh, this is nice! She sounds very pretty, though she is missing a few things like her eye colour and horn / claw colour, though I love her 'faux fur coat' lol. I wonder how she could get the skyfire, tho.

Personality: Chari thinks very highly of herself, and can come off as stubborn, arrogant, aloof, and rude. She won't do anything for free, which can help her get a good bargain at her affiliation.

This is a good start, but she needs a few more good traits (which isn't something I need to say often, off). She won't do anything for free, so is she really good at what she does? Even though she comes off as stubborn and arrogant, is she smart or true-to-herself? Think of stuff like that.

Occupation: Chari runs a jewelry shop in the suburbs of Jewel Hive.

Oh, nice. Explains all her accessories then.

Residence: A cell in the suburbs of Jewel Hive, near her shop.

Cool.

Relatives: She was born to a couple rather poor HiveWings, Cassidinae, her mother, and her father Deloyalo.

This are very unique names, good job.

Friend: Bold of you to assume she has friends, eh?

Oof?

Backstory: Like I said before, Chari was born into a poor HiveWing family, living in the corners of Tstse Hive. She went to Terrarium Academy, a school for HiveWing farmers, like her parents went to, but when she grew up, she decided to pursue a career of jewlry. It is important to note that she was bullied when she was young because of her poor status, and now has a very hard exterior because of that.

So, this sounds like a backstory for a side or minor character, but if she's not, I would say add way more detail. What is her relationship with her parents like? How did she get the money / status to start her shop, if both her parents were poor? Etc, etc.

Abilities: HiveWing acid spit

Nice.

Overall, I give Chari a 7/10. Work on her backstory and personality, and a few small details on her appearance, and you should be good to go! : )