( FINISHED ) Wings of Fire OC Rating

Sunset

OC belongs to @Queitsnowfall28

(Don't ask why the forum is in Bold, I don't really know how it got like that)

Name: Sunset

This is actually a canon name. She is a Skywing princess in Darkstakler times. However, she only appears once, so I'll let it slide.

Age: 14

Okay :3

Gender: Female

Alright

Sexuality: Demisexual

Nice. You see Bisexual, Homosexual and Heterosexual a lot, but almost never any Demisexuals! Good

Tribe(s): SandWing/NightWing/SeaWing

Hmm, I get how three way hybrids can happen, but they seem, overused? Like, of done right they can be awesome, but most people make three way hybrids so they can have a lot of ablites and powers. So, this is okay for now, I won't knock any points off, but if done incorrectly this OC can really, uh, Suck....

Queen they support: Queen Thorn

Okay

Looks: Sunset is a small dragon with mainly black scales, except the end if her snout (which is sand colored), the armored scales on her limbs (which are dark aqua blue), her wing membrane (which is sand colored), and the whatever you call it between the spines going down her back are blue. Her horns are white and straight, but at the end they angle down. her eyes are a dark brown and she has leaf shaped scales going the whole way down her body, but they leave her back exposed. She has dark, dark grey marks on her spine and front legs like SeaWing stripes, but hers don't glow.

Very descriptive, maybe add body shape. It's very hard to make hybrids look like hybrids (expect if they're like Sunny, In witch they barley look like a hybrid). So, in short, add body shape and height.

Attire: nothing

Okay

Personality: While quiet and introverted, she'll open up a great deal around those she trusts. She doesn't really care what others think of her unless it's someone she's close with. However, she certainly wouldn't be completely weird around others.
She doesn't think she shows emotions like she should, and this makes her upset, but she just do something to get her mind off it.

Add more traits, good and bad.

Backstory: her mother, A SandWing, and her father, A NightWing SeaWing hybrid who was unaware he was a hybrid since he had close to no SeaWing abilities, had a single dragonet. They were a happy family until Sunset was ten, and her father was bitten by a Dragonbite viper and died, which sent her mother into a deep depression. Sunset looks out for her mother in their home in the Scorpions Den.

Very bland so far. Is it not finished? It doesn't seem to have a complete ending, and I have a lot of quetions. Like, what happened before her father died? Did her mother ever recover? How was Sunset affected? How did her father not know he was a hybrid? Details! All I got form this was Sunset is born, her father dies, her mother get depression, and Sunset takes care of her.
This backstory would be good for a side or background character, but not a main character.

Occupation: she doesn't really have one, except looking out for her mother.

Not Even a part time job like cooking or cleaning or anything? Like, her dads dead, and I don't think her mother would be working. How does she buy food (I don't know if rent exist in the dragon world, but if it does, how does she pay rent). Does she hunt for food?

Residence: Scorpions Den

Okay

Relatives: Ember the SandWing, her mother.

Ember is more of a Skywing name, but okay

Friends: Crystal the SeaWing, and Python the Rain/SkyWing. (My sister's characters)

Why weren't they mentioned in the backstory? Also, do they live at the scorpion den too?

Crush: none
Mate: none
Dragonets: none

Makes sense

Abilities: fire breath

I like that you didn't say 'She can breath fire, breath underwater, poison people with her tail, see in the dark, read minds, and see the future.' Breathing fire is perfectly reasonable, seeing 2 out of her 3 tribes breath fire.

Powers: none

Yep

Hobbies: flying, reading, hunting

Alright

Other: nothing I can think of...

Okay :3

Quote: "When life gives you sand, make water and leave the world wondering how you did it... or throw it in life's eyes. Either one works."

I like it

Overall I give Sunset a 7/10. Her Backstory needs work, and a little bit on appearance and personality. Other then that good!