( FINISHED ) Wings of Fire OC Rating

Kelp

OC belongs to sophiesaurus1

Name: Kelp

This is actually a canon name. However, I'm pretty sure that they only apper once, still, it's still a very overused name.

Age: 8 years old

And we have a adult!

Gender: Female

Okay. Lot of OCs are female, but makes sense if you're a girl in real life.

Sexuality: Homosexual

:3

Tribe(s): Seawing

Okay

Queen they support: Queen Oyster

Quick quetion, who is she? She's not mentioned in the backstory. It's not Kelps mother, is it the crazy anmuis Seawing? Is Oyster the leader of the Forest Tribe? I'm confused, Please tell me.

Looks: A light sea-foam purple with a darker said and webs between her talons, her horns are slightly twisted and the inside of her wings are a few shades paler than her dominant scale colour. Kelp has deep sea green eyes that almost look black, the inside of kelp's ears are a dark purple and her seawing patterns emit a green-indigo colour.

Hmm. Is purple a Seawing colour? I mean, Indigo was kind of purple, but she wasn't full purple. Maybe make it purple-blue instead of just purple. Also, add body shape, height and stuff like that.

Attires: several strings of pearls wrapped around her horns, a silver chain around her neck and a silver wristband dotted with skyfire.

Where did she get the skyfire? Just wondering. Other then that good!

Personality: Kelp can be a bit of an air head, she is very absent-minded and has little to no patience. Kelp gets emotional very easily, and often complains if she doesn't get what she wants. She loves being praised, but dislikes insects, stopping her from attending any trip to the rainforest. Kelp is very bashful around those she loves very dearly, and whenever she is in an awkward situation she usually just tries to strike up a conversation with someone she knows. She can easily get herself in dilemmas, but she can also be very careless at times and a bit clever.

Good mix of flaws and good traits. Maybe add one or two good traits to even it out.

(I'm rating the backstory in parts, again)

Backstory: Kelp was born on the royal family, but her mother died from a sickness while Kelp was only 5 moons old. Therefore she was appointed queen early(she was 3 when appointed) as she was she only heir at that time, she of course got a little bit of help from her father. Her father refused to let a small dragonets take over the kingdom and get stressed by Citizens' problems so he took on the throne himself. The royal family got a bad name from her father's decision, the residents disobeyed them a lot more as the kingdom disliked her father's disrespect toward the tradition of Queens, and that he shouldn't have been in control of the kingdom. Due to disrespect toward her father, he was later assassinated. Kelp gave up her role as a Queen/princess.

Gosh darn it Seagull
Anyway, the this is really good so far! It seems likely to happen. But the only thing is that Kelp was the only heir. Like, there was no aunts, cousins, siblings or anything?

She appointed a random seawing to be queen. Little did she know, the seawing was animus, and the kingdom of the sea fell into havoc under the seawing's power and greed for destruction. Kelp helped evacuate the seawings, their 'Queen' spreading havoc throughout all of phyrria as her twisted ways soon ended by a stab from behind. Phyrria was destroyed, the different tribes left to the most untouched kingdoms, most going to the ice kingdom, and most to the sand and sky kingdom. The many tribes in the three kingdoms expanded their territories, before the sky kingdom spread to own the sea, sky, and mud kingdom. The sand kingdom spread to the rain kingdom and later joined with the ice kingdom. The ice kingdom and sky kingdom continued to rebuild their new territory and the dragons loved being with each other. So the ice kingdom and sky kingdom changed their tribes, to the mountain tribe and the Forest tribe(Ik, lazy names). Wars over territory began, the two tribes continuing to try and claim land to hunt and feed their people as famine hushed the land, Kelp tried living normally through this with her adoptive parents until creating a revolutionary rebellion with her friends of all different tribes to become the seperate tribes again.

Hmmm, how is that Seawing a anmuis without being Royal? Also, the ending is kinda, unfinished. That's the only probelm. Other then that, I LOVE it. It's good, and has just enough action to keep you interested. Work on the ending some more, other then that good. (This would also be good for a fanfic!)

Occupation: Soldier

Okay

Residence: Forest tribe

Where? Since there's like, three differnt territory's in the Forest Tribe.

Relatives:

Pear ( Adoptive mother, a mostly dark and pale blue rainwing )

Pineapple ( Adoptive father, a mostly orange and yellow rainwing )

Queen Algae ( Blood-Mother, a murky sea green seawing )

King Seagull ( Blood-father, a very pale blue seawing with hints of orange )

Nice names. However, how is Seagull orange? I guess it COULD happen, since Anemone has hints of pink.

Friends: Northwind ( Dark ice-blue icewing Female )

Anaconda ( Mostly green rainwing Male )

Rattlesnake ( Pale yellow Sandwing Female )

Sparrow ( Dark red skywing Male )

Silt (Light brown mudwing female )

Starwatcher ( Navy blue nightwing female )

Again, good names!

Crush: Northwind

I love gay ships

Mate: None

K

Dragonets: None

K

Abilities: normal seawing stuff. However, the seawing pattern closest to her right ear doesn't light up.

Oh. I like that detail.

Powers: none

Okay

Hobbies: Being around dragonets, reading to dragonets, she just loves dragonets.

Please say her and Northwind adopt a dragonet after the rebellion.

Other: All her friends are apart of her little rebellion to retake life as the 7 seperate tribes. Procrastination is her enemy.

It's good that her friends helped her because I doubt one dragon could start a rebellion all by themselves.

Quote: "Eh."

Me.

I give Kelp 8.5/10. Work out a few kinks in her backstory, appearance, and name and you should be good!