Today is a sad day, Zach is moving out. Out of our house, out of our almost six year mariage and out of my life. He was in the living room packing some boxes while i was in the kitchen. I was supposed to be making a snack for our two girls, Leila, 7 years old and Mackenzie, 4 years old, but all I could do was just watch him.
Watch him pack up all of his things, this that had been in this house for five years now. As he continued to fill the boxes he picked up a photo album. He opened it, not knowing what it was.
It was full of pictures of us, I had made it for our one year anniversary. Little did we know almost 12 years later we'd be divorced. He looked at it for a bit.
"such a long time ago"
he whispered, he stood up and walked over. He put it down on the counter. I looked at him and back down at the album.
"what a journey"
I whispered to myself
"trust me If I could change this I would"
"I know, me too. All of this sucks"
"things changed, we changed"
I nodded not being able to look at him
"why won't you look at me?"
I chuckled sadly
"because whenever I look at you all of the memories we have together come back to me. I can't handle it. I used to see this man I was so deeply in love with and now...my ex husband"
"don't say it like that"
"how am I supposed to say it then?! I can't look at you because my heart is broken. We've been together for most of out lives! Spending every moment we could together. We had the most amazing wedding, we have the best kids in this goddamn world. They're the biggest blessing we could have been giving! All they've known was Mommy and Daddy together and now that's over as well! I'm heartbroken Zach! I never wanted things to end up like this!"
"Do you think I do?! I fucking love my kids, I would have never agreed to having them if I didn't fully believe in this relationship. I loved you, I still love you and I always will! The memories we have aren't and should never be 'bad' memories. It happened and we were so happy together, you can't take that back. I'm sorry things didn't work out. I wish they did, for me, for you, for the girls..."
I shook my head trying to hide my tears and ran to what used to be our room. I locked myself in the bathroom and broke down. I stayed there for a few minutes before the door opened.
He was the only one that knew how to unlock that door. I felt him sit in-front of me, he pulled me close to him and rubbed my back.
"we'll be okay I promise, maybe we just need a break-"
"Zach I love you, I can't do this"
He rubbed my head.
"I love you too...I which this wouldn't have to happen but you know we're not meant to be anymore"
"we always were Zach...what changed"
"trust me I want to know the answer to that as much as you do"
"Mommy? Daddy?"
Our heads shot up at the voice of our two babies, shit we forgot the time. Zach quickly wiped my tears before opening the door while we were still sat on the floor. Both of the girls saw us and had worried looks on their faces as they walked in.
"What's wrong Mommy?"
Leila said as I pulled her into my lap, into a hug. Mackenzie went over to Zach and he hugged her kissing her head, god, he's always been so good with them.
"nothing is wrong princess"
"you sure?"
"yes thank you baby"
"Daddy?"
Mackenzie said looking at Zach
"yes beautiful?"
"why boxes downstairs?"
we shared a quick glance not really knowing what to say.
"don't worry about that, it's nothing"
We got up and went downstairs to eat some food. Zach and I were standing apart when Leila came over and took my hand. I smiled looking down at her, she pulled me over to Zach.
"please stay together"
we were both shocked at what she said
"what?"
I said
"I know what divorce is, we learned about it in school. You haven't been together as much as before, I don't wanna Daddy or Mommy to leave"
I looked at her as she hugged my legs
"Baby it's more difficult then that-"
"call it off, I know you love each other"
I was mind blown, I didn't know she understood so much about our situation.
——
So after out girls' request, we tried again, we got help for our problems. We worked things out we hadn't talked about in years. We talked about it with Leila and slowly but surely things started to get better. We made time for each other again, we were in love like a real couple again.
We owe everything to out girls, we'll be grateful for them each and every day.
