Elia (EDITING)

Chapter 70

Not edited... 

Elia.

"I didn't even know it's already Easter!" I complain. "I didn't even know we have a History test!" Sage laughs taking a seat opposite me.

She dragged me to the cafeteria because she didn't eat at home. And frankly- to the point that I didn't even feel offended by her comment- told me I should eat because I look like someone who is very sick.

"Why is it you don't eat?"

"I get full before I finish eating every time." She nods eating her muffin. "If I ask you will you be honest?" she asks.

"Yeah sure."

"It's about Xander."

Then I'm sorry I can't be fully honest.

"I want to know if everything is alright with him- like he always is-"

"Wow! I had no idea our girls will replace us with each other!" Nathaniel playfully scoffs as he sits next to me. I elbow his side. "I am not a girl!"

"Oops, sorry." Xander kisses Sage forehead before he looks at me and smiles. "Hie girls!"

"Immediately offensive. I'm going." I stand up.

"Whoa! I am so sorry dude, no reason for you to be such a pussy." He chuckles. "- I mean dick." I roll my eyes grabbing my bag and make my way out of the cafeteria before I hear Nathaniel cursing.

I walk to my locker, my mood already ruined. I saw this coming today, not like the guy teasing me- but my reaction. I am so irritant today, perhaps it has something to do with last night plus the invoking dream of my parents and I in Italy.

"El." Yeah obviously he was going to follow me. I pretend to look for something in my locker though I know I am trying to destruct myself from Nathaniel. "I'm sorry-"

"Yeah right for messing around with my sexuality!" I continue turning my things in the locker.

"I am too... I mean gay so why are you making it a big deal?"

"You are making fun of me!" I exclaim taking out a book I am really sure I will not need to use it today.

"Okay, you're just in a bad mood."

"Yeah right I should be in a good mood because I am a girl now?"

"Whoa... what is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong is that you see me as a girl because I am fucking... I don't know slim? I'm a stereotypical gay guy huh?"

"El-"

"Even the first day we met Nathaniel you saw me as gay! And now you're making fun of it!" I whisper yell trying not to get anyone's attention.

"You're just pissed off, talk to me."

"Never! Ever!" I point at him.

"Hey look Elia I'm sorry I was joking with you..." Xander chips in with Sage behind her.

"Never Ever! consider that as joking. You are straight huh? You have no right to make fun of me like that!" I slam my locker and turn to look at him. "Unless you have the guts to stop walking around pretending to be the guy you are not, you will never be- you will never have the right to mock me!" I make my way to my first class today English.

Halfway the lesson, I am guilty as fuck. I can tell Nathaniel is very angry and Xander must be too. He must never want to see me ever again. I turn to look at Nathaniel who is completing his essay with his neat well shaped handwriting. He looks up at me to catch me staring then he looks down immediately, his face tightens with anger.

When the bell finally goes, my plan is already painted in my head. Look for Xander, make things right with him, then I'll see Nathaniel tonight at the store.

However, Xander is no where to be found. His car is packed at the grounds, but I cant see him.

Then, Nathaniel doesn't show up at the store, driving me into a drench of sadness.

I'm a curse to other people.

I am about to lock the store, when a car pulls over. It's Nathaniel's. I stop and watch him walk out of the car. He walks up at me, visibly pissed.

"Keys." He stretches his hand. I give him the keys and he walks into the store. He switches the lights on and walks to the till where he does something. Then he goes to the store room. I walk in too into the store, feeling the tension that is heavy in the air.

I walk to stand by the door of the store room. He sees me, or senses me, that I know, but he continues to act as if I am not there. He takes a box printed MASKS on the side. He makes his way to me- to the door- I scoot for him to exit, then he stands right in front of me.

"I need to lock the door." He says.

I walk out- now feeling unwanted. Really unwanted. I go straight outside, feeling some urges I can't really explain or comprehend.

He locks all the locks for about ten minutes, and all I could do is to stand there and watch him.

"Nathaniel I'm sorry." I finally whisper the second he locks the last key. He looks at me with fake surprise.

"I had no idea you knew what that word means." He says and waits for me to say something else. But when I say nothing he nods. "Of course you don't."

He walks to his car and I follow him. "I- was- I was feeling shitty in the morning... and I wasn't thinking."

"Right!" he sarcastically exclaims. "Because you always feel shitty- and always think of no one than yourself. Everything is about I feel like this so I have to do this or I feel like this so I have not to this this. And you never think- as long as it makes you feel good then you have no reason to think it through huh!?"

"Why would you say that?" I ask.

"Because I know you Elia! That is who you are! And I've known this for long and I have tried by all means to understand you and accept you for that... I was a player! I was in the team but then I found you and I stopped being a player! Did you ever realized that I quit football for you last year!? Did you? I changed a lot for you, lost my rep, lost my friends, my carrier for you! But you can't change a small part of you! Not even a a bit- I know you're going through a lot. You lost your dad then your mom-"

The mention of my parents makes me choke. My chest burns my eyes gives up and finally let tears. But that doesn't stops him-

"- but I have a lot too. I have no idea where my mom is fucking is and my dad is on his death bed!" "You outed Xander in front of his girlfriend. Do you have an idea ho he feels now!? I am sorry- I can't do this anymore Elia. I can't."

"What? No, you can- Nate I am so sorry... Please I am..."

"I'm hurting too. But I am tired of checking my every move because of you."

"Please- I will change. I will talk to Xander and we will be fine again. I beg you- I- I don't think I can live without you." I feel my knees weaken.

"I'm sorry." And those are the last words he said to me before he walks to his car. He doesn't look at me or even try to sober me up. It's as if he really- really broke up with me.

Can this be the end?