Elia (EDITING)

Chapter 21

So my computer wasn't working, but here is another chapter...

Elia.

Every single one of it, every single one of Nathaniel Sandas' mannerism I've come to notice is making me like him more. Like the way he always 'So...' when he wants to start a conversation, how he bites his lips when he is concentrating on something or how he pats his friend's shoulder, all of it all of it, makes me like him more. I walk slowly to my car and literary push myself into it. I switch the heater on and rub my hands together. I hate this kind of weather, so fucking cold. I drive to the store to get the groceries g-ma asked me to get. For some reasons the store is packed. It is when I see the 'Christmas promotion' stickers that I get the reason. People and cheap this...

The Christmas decorations reminds me of how I am going to spent a Christmas without my mom. Every Christmas as far as I remember I've spent with my grandparents, but I really don't know how it will feel without my mom. I decide to push the thought away and continue with my shopping. As I turn to the dairy aisle, I see two men holding hands debating on which milk to buy. I smile to myself, I wish one day I would do so too. I step next to the taller one who is currently groaning, "Leo! There is no reason for us to buy two cartons of chocolate milk, I am allergic to chocolates!"

"Selfish." The other one returns the carton of milk. I smile to myself as I grab it once it's on the shelf.

"You see, someone actually like it" the man I'm pretty sure is Leo laughs. I look at him and smile. "I surely do, I think he should have let you take the milk, it's great." I say as my eyes flicker to his hand gripping his' boyfriends one.... I guess.

"Well, well, well... another chocolate lover." The middle aged man snorts, something about him is familiar, like I have seen him before. I am not sure if-

"There isn't your fucking shampoo!" I turn behind to see Nathaniel looking down at his hands holding a bottle of shampoo. "...seriously! You should stop being too gay to the point of..." His eyes meet me and he noticeably gasps. "Elia?" he looks at me then Leo, then the other man the back at me, then he puts on a 'I am so confused right now face'.

"Hie" I smile at him. He raises an eyebrow still looking at the three of us. "Hey Elia... what are you doing here?" I shrug pointing at my trolley. "Shopping?"

He nods, still looking unimpressed. Why is he- oh! O my God! That is Nathaniel's dad who looks like him! And his boyfriend. I look behind to the two men holding hands who are looking at us like we just kissed or something.

"You... Um..." Nathaniel stops dropping his head. "Have you decided yet? Like the trip?" I mentally groan. 1. I don't like travelling, I get sick, not the sick like a slight headache or what, but a bad headache, vomiting and feeling dizzy. 2. I hate to be around a lot of people, that is why I don't go to the cafeteria. 3. I know Italy in and out and that will be wasting money, I lived in Rome.

"I'm afraid I am not going." I say. He looks disappointed but he nods and weakly smiles. "Alright." He pats my shoulder and tries to walk past me but I pull his hand when an idea pops in my head.
"Wanna hang out tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yeah sure... where, your place?" I don't want this to be a normal way of hanging, I want it to be a bit different.

"No, like... out, hang out out" I mentally slap myself when I realize how bad I sound. His eyes glob out for a split second. "Uh...." He drags. Damn! Of course he cannot hang out with me. Even if I was Nathaniel I would never hang out with someone like myself. Like, what will his friends say when they see us walk together downtown. They all know I am gay and there is no way they will want to hang out with Nathaniel if they see us together. Nathaniel displays an apologetic face which makes my heart hurt. Thinking that he will say no and him actually saying no is different.