Lost In Love

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

The next coming week was a living hell for me to deal with. I didn’t have gotten up from bed and I had called myself sick so the school wouldn’t have to bother me with questions like ‘Where have you been?’

I am still depressed from Nate’s absence. He wasn’t returning my calls at all. I hadn’t been to work either because I felt ashamed of facing him. I felt so down, I didn’t even wanted to talk to Chase anymore. I didn’t want blame him for the way Nathan did found out but I couldn’t help to have it in the back of my mind.

So here I am still lying in my bed like I have been doing for a week and a half now. I won’t deny it, I am starving but I just couldn’t find the appetite and the willing power to get up and feed myself. I just hated myself for being everything I am not lately, a lying idiot! And every time I thought of it I could feel an empty whole in my heart, and that feeling did hurt. You know when you regret something so bad that you just can’t let it go. I turned my body so I faced the pillow instead and screamed with all I had into it! When I was done screaming and kicking my legs I turned back in the position I was lying before.

“God help me!” I exclaimed as I pulled my hair roughly “What should I do? Help me! Give me I sign” I cried out loud and closed my eyes.

When I felt all the regret once again, I started to kick my legs violently and I picked the pace and I fell of my bed hard landing on the floor. My hair covered my face so I couldn’t see anything as I reached out for support so I could pull myself off the floor. I could feel a small paper under my fingertips, and when I removed my hair from my eyes I could see with a blurry vision that the paper was a picture. I blinked hard a couple of times to adjust my vision.

“Oh” I said as I figured out why this was a sign from God.

The picture was of Lucas and me together. We were smiling happily.

I remember the day this picture was taken. It was Vicky’s 17th birthday and we had just surprised her at her house with cake and presents.

This was my chance to make everything alright with Lucas. If Nate doesn’t want to see me again or talk to me again then he is just making it easier for me to forget him.

Yeah this could work. All I need to do is to avoid him like he avoids me.

“Thank you God!” I raised my hands in the air “Thank you!”

There was a knock on the front door, ruining my dramatic prayers. I sighed and stood up from the floor. With a dizzy head and shaky legs I walked to my door and opened it.

There was Chase standing looking at me  with a frown.

“Hey” I said quietly

“You look like hell” he said with a disgusted face as he walked in to my apartment “And this place looks like a mess and the smell-“

“I get it!” I interrupted snapping at him

Before walking in to the kitchen after him I took a glance in the mirror next to the door. I did look like hell. My hair was oily and my eyes were puffy and had dark bags from the lack of sleep. My nose was red from all the crying and my lips were dry and cracked. My skin had dried out and it looked like I had lost 5 pounds at least.

I made disgusted face at myself before I went in to the kitchen.

“How are you feeling?” Chase asked

“Definitely better” I laughed awkwardly

“You will get over this” he assured “Do you want to talk about this?” he asked and he did look a little uncomfortable.