Elia (EDITING)

Chapter 18

I take slow steps out of the school gate, there is no way I am going to walk from here to home, maybe if I still lived at the other house I would easily walk but from here it is impossible. Not impossible but for my state now... it is beyond impossible. I know I refused Elia's ride, I don't think it is a good idea to be around him or I will end up confronting him and eventually turn back to that 'unexplainable' state of ours. I will figure something to do, but right now I want to talk to Xander.

As I arrive Xander's house I ring the bell. Xavier his brother opens the door for me motioning for me to go upstairs with a smile. I knock on his door before he mumbles a weak 'get in'.

"Xander"

He looks at me and his eyes widens. I stand by the door not really sure if he wants me to stay or leave not as if I will leave even if he asks me to.

"Look bro I am so fucking sorry" he says before I do. "I should be the one saying so" I say closing the door and walking to sit on the bed where he is.

"No it's cool I shouldn't have overreacted the way I did" he blushes. I smile. I am very lucky to have Xander as my best friend. He is one of the people I know will always have my back no matter what.

"You did what was right that time. I will tell you the truth either you want to tell me what shit you have been hiding from me or not."

"I will"

"My mom and dad didn't divorced because my dad was cheating as I told you..." I tell Xander everything to the part that I was living with my dad and his boyfriend. After I am done I still feel as if I did not tell him everything. I did not tell him how I am suddenly questioning my sexuality. I will be lying if I say I don't feel anything for Elia, I do, something I know I shouldn't be feeling.

Xander pulls me into a hug, I rest my head on his shoulder and make myself comfortable. I should have done this way back, like his hug makes me feel much better, relieved. Xander politely pushes me off. He clears his throat.

"Nate, um... I... I have been seeing someone" he tells me something I already know, but I listen though. "I don't know how I suddenly feel, I don't know if I like h... the person or not. The thing is this person likes someone... and I am not even sure if the other person like..." he sighs. "Nate, whatever I will tell... you will still be my friend? My best friend right?" Xander has never asked me such a question and I will be lying that I don't expect him to tell me something big.

I nod. "Always"

"I wanted to tell you this from the first day I swear but... I was scared you will push me off... I..." he sighs again.

"Xander you don't have to tell me if you're not ready yet. I will wait patiently, I don't want you to tell me something if you are not ready, take your time" I pat his shoulder. He looks at me and smiles.

"You're right" "I will tell you someday."

I stayed at Xander up to around eight. He drives me home and I feel bad for not bringing him up to see my new home. The reason is not that I don't want him to see where I live but because I am not ready to introduce him to my dad and the other person I am supposed to view as my 'step dad'. I am not sure of how Xander may view gay people as. I know I told him about my dad suddenly being gay and all, he didn't react in a bad way. But Xander... he has never attacked or said anything bad about homosexuality. I just don't want to complicate things between him and I, because I really love him... he is the only person who knows my highs and lows.

I unlock the door with the key card. I know this is one of those fancy apartments and all. As I step inside a sweet scent hits my nose. My stomach then releases a violent growl. I make my way to the kitchen to see Leonard facing the opposite side cooking something, I take this time to escape but I hit my knee on the door frame.