My Crazy Fake (I Wish It Were Real) Life

Family Vacation to Midgard

"-Disneyland!" I announced our next family vacation.
Axel did a good job pretending he was excited. Frigga didn't have time for such petty things. "Where? I don't know where that is."
"Oh of course you don't. Y'all are Asgardian. Disneyland has something each of you will like, though. You guys know this people you're obsessed with?"
"Princesses?"
"Captain America!"
"Yes, and yes." Oh well. They'd be more excited when we got there. "And, uh, Frigga? Don't try to get stuff for free. People won't let you."
On our first day out of the hotel, (they needed the whole experience and I wouldn't let Loki just zap us back and forth) Axel and Frigga were both dressed up and Frigga had three other themed dresses ready in case she met any other princesses. Loki was another thing.
"Um, you might wanna wear something more... Normal."
Loki looked down at his outfit. "This is normal."
"For you it is. But, uh, here you're kinda the uh, villain. Plus, you're not allowed to dress up if you're an adult.
Loki groaned and used some illusion that made him look more Midgardian. Then he followed us out of the hotel and onto the street. We were close enough to walk.
Frigga met three princesses the first day (Cinderella, Mulan, and Merida) and I got her an autograph book so she could get all their signatures as the week went on.
I made Axel try every single dessert we saw on the way over to Space Mountain. We had eaten three ice cream bars, two bags of cotton candy, and a frozen lemonade between us before we got there. It wasn't really a good idea, but I didn't get sick on roller coasters, so I hoped that gene had been passed down, or something. Space Mountain is now Axel's favorite ride.
I remembered getting a princess makeover my first time in Disneyland, so I dragged Frigga with me so she could get one too. The poor worker had to listen to Frigga go on and on about how she was already a princess and she didn't need a makeover to prove it. While she was admiring her reflection, the worker told me, "Your daughter is very confident."
I shook my head, and said, "You don't even know."
Loki rode everything he came across (that wasn't, like, the Dumbo ride). He traveled through Indiana Jones, Thunder Mountain Railroad, Space Mountain, and Matterhorn, and almost all of them twice.
On the second day, Loki was forced to meet all the other princesses with Frigga. When she saw Elsa, she whispered to Loki, "That's the ice one." Frigga didn't know the whole story with Frost Giants and everything, but I'm sure she knew something. Loki tolerated a whole lot more after that.
I bought everyone Mickey ears and other souvenirs. I got Axel the most American ears I could find. Frigga got sequin ears and me and Loki got the plain ole' Mickey and Minnie ears, so we could wear the "I'm her Mickey" and "I'm his Minnie" t-shirts.
The third day was spent in California Adventures, where Loki finally got the coaster he was looking for. I was dragged onto California Screaming, kicking and screaming. Not really though. But I was close. That ride has been my worst nightmare since I was ten. My mom had bribed me and Carter with up to fifty bucks my first time in Disneyland, but nighters of us took it.
We ate, like, eight more churros and took lots of pictures. And then, I regrettably told Loki about Mickey's Death Wheel. The ride is actually called Mickey's Fun Wheel, but it kind of became an inside joke in my family. The gondolas on the oversized Ferris wheel rock on tracks all the way around while rocking back and forth and up and down and going in circles. Definitely worse than any roller coaster. Loki rode it four times.
Axel made sure that we went to the Avengers memorabilia store so he could pick up some Captain America stuff. Loki was going to wait outside, but I made sure he came with us. Frigga and Axel got lost soon after and I wandered around with Loki in tow. I found him glowering at the Avengers storybook.
I looked over his shoulder. "What?"
"It's bad enough that I don't have a single page in here about me, but Stark has six! Two of them are all about his flying suits. Mark IV, Mark V, Mark VI... They all look exactly the same. And I'm one of the main characters! The Avengers wouldn't even exist without me!"
"Okay, prideful. Could you quiet your rant down a bit? People are giving us weird looks."
Loki grumbled and urged Axel to hurry up with the choosing of his paraphernalia.
On our last day, we went back to California Adventures but left earlier in the day to hang out in Downtown Disney.
Radiator Springs Racers was way fun, even though I realized that my family hasn't even see Cars. They are so uncultured. Except, both my kids can duel with swords, they can all ride horses, they have the dinner table manners of the Queen of England, and they're royalty. So....
We ate at every single ice cream place in Downtown Disney, and we got some last minute souvenirs. And, as it is when you get back to your hotel on the last day, we all collapsed on the couch, not realizing how tired we had been all week.