My Crazy Fake (I Wish It Were Real) Life

I Dramatically Crave Meat

"Loki, I want some really tender, juicy, perfectly cooked lamb. Doesn't that sound amazingly? Lamb." My mouth was watering just thinking about it. I sat up in bed and made sure Loki had heard me. He was sitting on a chair he had pulled into the room reading a book. "Loki, I want some lamb."
Loki looked up at me. "Lamb?"
"It's a really adorable Midgardian creature. Unfortunately, they taste very good. So we eat them. Please, can you go send someone to go get me a lamb?" I let my head fall back on a pillow and sighed. "Your child has fine taste," I sighed, staring down at my growing stomach.
"Olivia, it's the middle of the night."
"You don't have to do it. I'm sure there are plenty of servants who are just waiting to serve the sick Queen. And by extent, the King. And by further extent, their unborn child. And by even further extend, their son, who is probably bored out of his mind everyday."
Loki stood up and set his book down on the chair. "The Queen will have her lamb," he sighed. Loki walked to the doors and flung them open dramatically. "The Queen wants a lamb!" he shouted, and I noted the fact that he most likely woke everyone up just because I was craving something.
I could overhear parts of the conversations Loki had with the servants who had awoken to fulfill the Queen's every demand. "She wants a lamb... No, a lamb. From Midgard... To watch! Why else would you want a lamb?" Oh, Loki. He apparently had never heard the song 'Mary Had a Little Lamb.' "A lamb... Yes, it's cooked! She said she wanted it perfectly cooked. You can figure out how to season a lamb. Would you sacrifice the health of the Queen and her unborn child because you don't know how to season a lamb? That's what I thought." Loki returned to our chambers to find me with a goofy grin on my face.
"I love you!"
"I love you, and your endless creativity, and your deepening need for exotic foods."
"Oh come now! I'll let you try some of the lamb and then you'll understand my sudden craving.
"And the fact that you're pregnant?"
I couldn't stop smiling.