Thinking about you (A.I. FF) - Complete

Chapter 20

*Ashton's POV*

It's killing me when you're away
I wanna leave and I wanna stay
And I'm so confused. So hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right
Even if I try to win the fight, my heart will overrule my mind
And I'm not strong enough to stay away

I'm not strong enough to stay away
What can I do
I would die without you
In your presence my heart knows no shame
I'm not to blame
Cause you bring my heart to its knees

It's killing me when you're away
I wanna leave and I wanna stay
And I'm so confused. So hard to choose
Between the pleasure and the pain
And I know it's wrong, and I know it's right
Even if I try to win the fight, my heart will overrule my mind
And I'm not strong enough to stay away!

It's been a month since I left and I'm sitting on a bench in a park listening to Apocalyptica with some sun glasses and a hood on so that no one can recognize me. We're going to stay here for 3 more weeks then our North American tour will begin. I'm always thinking about Brooke. 

I'm wondering if she got the letter and if she read it. But she didn't give me any sign so I guess she hadn't read the letter. Or if she did read it, she must've been really hurt or else she would've given me a text or a call or any signs that she can actually forgive me.

I don't know what to do. Should I go back home and fix things with her? But then I'll let down the guys and our fans. So what should I do? Because I can't live without her, but music is also my life too. I kinda screwed up things lately with some interviews and stuff. I know that  now there's no way she will take me back.

*Brooke's POV*

No ! Not that pain again ... please stop!
I was in my bed and some unbearable pain hit me again. It was my back that hurt but then my belly and I couldn't sleep. For two weeks or so this kind of pain strikes me.

I got out of the bed and looked at my room. It felt so big now and I still didn't got used to that wall that used to be full of pictures.

*Flashback*
"I think I need to finally say goodbye" I said looking at that wall full of pictures.
"You want to take those of?" Ally asked me.
"Well... I think I need to finally admit that me and Ashton are over. I can't stand seeing him everyday. It hurts too damn much, you know?"

"Yeah... Well  it's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye .." she put her hand on my back then she left me alone in my room.

I looked at all of those pictures and I took them off one by one. All of those memories came back to life and my tears kept falling and falling from my eyes. But I needed to admit he was forever gone and US no longer existed. I put the pictures in the box where the letter was. I didn't want to know what it has to say. It didn't matter any more, he left !
*End of Flashback*

I went in my bathroom and suddenly I felt like I had to throw up. My head was hurting and I had no idea what was wrong with me.
I laid down on my bed and texted Kate and she came over as it was 9 am and it was Saturday.

"Hey Brooke, what's up? you ok?" she asked coming closer to me.
"I don't really know Kate. Something's wrong. I'm late! And I'm never late ! And today I threw up and I'm scared Kate!" I cried.
"Wow.. slow down! It's okay, maybe you ate something and your stomach didn't like it. Don't jump to conclusion that fast!" she comforted me.