Dangerous Games (Michael Jackson Fan Fiction)

Chapter 28: My Girl Taking Morphine

-Michael-

:Look what you've done to me, baby
I can no longer smile, baby
And I've waited so long, just to carry on
I'm the blue gangsta:

Flashback: 18 months ago, London, UK

"Number 1438, please proceed to Room 4," the electronic voice in its British accent announced my number to the room I was assigned to go. Pairs of eyes were being felt on me as I walked through the quiet hallway of the GP.

I scrunched up the receipt with my patient number on it and tossed it aimfully over at a nearby bin. I kept on walking until I saw the number four screwed tight on the door with my doctor's name beneath it, Dr. Amy Jones.

I knocked on the door three times before hearing a muffled voice of a woman on the other side.

"Come in," she said.

I twisted the knob as I swung the door open, slowly entering the room with care as I see a smile forming in her lips at the sight of me.

"Michael! I didn't expect you to be here, it's been a while, how are you doing?" She stood up to give me a friendly hug before sitting down on a nearby chair.

"Not so great actually," I said, weakness displayed in my voice, "can you help me out?"

Worry influenced Dr. Jones to crease her eyebrows with full concern, "Of course Michael, that's what I'm here for," Dr. Jones sat on her wheelie chair behind the desk as I was fidgeting with my fingers nervously.

"Now what seems to be the problem this time, Michael?" Dr. Jones asked in her most calming voice.

"I kept on feeling guilty, for what I've done fairly recently," tears started to form in my eyes but I fought it back to show some strength left in me, "I've made many mistakes in my life that caused me to feel bad about it for the longest time, and right now, I never felt so depressed in my life," I couldn't hold it any longer as I choked up in my own tears that were falling from my tired eyes that was caused by jet lag. I covered my face with my hands as I hide my own emotions from my doctor.

Dr. Jones left her seat as I felt her hand touching my back and shoulders in comfort, "Shh, it's okay Michael, let it all out." Having the doctor's company may ease the pain I have in my chest, but it was still not enough.

"It's not okay doctor, I've made too many mistakes that I deeply regret making, I wanted to kill myself for it, but I'm too scared to do so," I lifted my head for some air from my crying, my nose blocked from the tears, I couldn't breathe. What's the point of breathing when you don't have a reason to live anymore?

"T-that's why I'm here today to ask for, um, an injection to help me sleep, for a very long time," I said with lips trembling as Dr. Jones widened her eyes in shock with my suicidal thoughts.

"Michael, why are you thinking about suicide being the only solution?" Dr. Jones squeezed my hands in concern.

"Because I couldn't find any other solution for this, it's taking over me doctor, I'm simply not strong enough," I shivered at the thought of leaving this Earth, would I finally find the peace that I've been searching and longing for?

"You're wrong Michael, you are very strong, you are just blinded by the emotions you posses right now," I nodded, trying to see her point in the best way I can.