My Fear (Eric Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 70

As the week progresses the tension between the initiates and I build, they were becoming stronger and more mentally Dauntless. We moved on to gun training, and worked on sparring as we still had our weekly fights. The board read,

1-Patrick
2-Serena
3-Kyle
4-Timothy
5-Fred

Polly, James, Bailey and one of the other Erudite boys were cut from the transfers list.

This week we're moving onto stage 2, the fear simulator.

Eric and I got to work early so we could set everything up. I watched as he worked on the machine and I sat on the chair.

"Nothing says surprise like learning the girl you had sex with is pregnant through her fear simulator," I chuckle at the reminiscing memories.

"In front of my boss and my enemy. It was a great time, too bad you weren't there to witness that."

"I think I died from embarrassment just as well," I shoot him a glance. "How did you feel...watching that?" I realized I never asked before.

"At the time I was thinking a million different things at once. Of course at first I was initially angry. I was regretting having a talk with Max about it all. I really thought I was going to be demoted and that I wouldn't live it down, but I got off easy."

"That one night started it all," I say in amazement. I watch as he continues to play with the fear simulator. "What are your fears?"

"Maybe one day you'll find out, but that says is not today. They've got a way of changing in the past 12 years..... I really was in such shock that I got you pregnant. I didn't understand that one time could do that. I felt really unlucky, like nauseous."

I nod my head. "I thought my life was over," I chuckle. "How unlucky do you feel now?"

"Now I feel blessed." He smiles fondly, probably thinking of the children.

"I haven't been in my fear landscape since, I imagine I have at least eight more fears."

"I don't even want to know them." He shakes his head.

I frown. "Would he be in yours?"

"Obviously not because I killed him. I know I have nothing to fear anymore."

I shrug my shoulders. "Doesn't mean what he did still can't haunt you..."

"It wouldn't be him, Elena, it would be me." He says quietly.

My heart seems to stop. "What?"

"I'm not repeating myself."

"Why would it be you?" I pick at my nails.

"That's my fear."

I stand up and walk towards him. "Of torturing me?"

"Of being the one to hurt you." He sighs. "Can we not talk about this?"

I nod my head but still embrace him in my arms anyways. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Eric showed me how to operate the simulator and it was fairly simple. Being back in this room stirs up many old memories I sometimes forget. Eric was always in my fear simulator but now, now I know it's for a different reason than it was twelve years ago. I'm scared of losing him.

I called in Danielle first, her first fear was heights.

Then Timothy, his was killing someone.

Then Patrick, his was a place with no way out.