My Fear (Eric Divergent Fanfic)

Chapter 27

I open my eyes and the doctors are still around me, but they look done. I don't dare to ask what I already know. The baby is gone. I turn my head away from them as a tear rolls down my cheek. They bring me into a more comfortable room and change my bloody gown. I lay in bed anticipating Eric to walk through the doors. Minutes later he walks through hesitantly. His blue eyes gazing at me.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I did this. This is my fault." He doesn't dare to look at me as he speaks.

I don't bothering looking at him anymore. If he could blame a whole entire pregnancy on me, can't I blame an entire miscarriage on him? "I know," is all I say.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore."

I'm quiet. "I was thinking the same thing."
"Good. We'll split up time with Ean. I'll just see you in passing. This was never a good idea. I tried to warn you. I tried to protect you from me." He shakes his head that was now hung low.

I wipe the tear before it can fall from the duct. "Don't do this here," I say quiet. I didn't want another fight in the hospital. I wanted to grieve.

"OK. What should I do? Do you need anything? I don't want to leave you alone. Not right now. Not after this."

"Thank you," I didn't want him to leave. I scoot over in bed and place my hand on the empty space next to me. "Can you just sit with me?"

"Yes. Of course."

And that was it. He sat beside me and we didn't say a word until one of us fell asleep, I can't remember who.

When I woke up the next day I was discharged and on my way home, honestly though...what was home anymore? Going back to Dauntless wasn't going to feel the same, especially now that Eric and I called it quits. It's for the better...I hope.

**

I moved back in the apartment I previously had, the same building which is convenient for Ean.

My apartment is nice, but missing something, missing someone. It's lonely especially on the days Eric takes our son.

It's been two weeks since my miscarriage and I still feel empty. I've lost a lot of joys and pleasures in the days. When Ean is with me I hold him close to me and I try not to let go dreading the next time he has to leave--right now it's Eric's day and I've been doing nothing, not even eating. I can't seem to care for myself. I'm in this period of such self-loathing.

I don't like this "divorced parenting" I don't think it's fair to Ean. I don't want to have split parenting, I don't want Ean to get away with things because of his father whereas I wouldn't let him get away with it.

I don't trust Eric to raise Ean, I know his job is demanding--Peter might as well be his father because I guarantee he has been the one babysitting while Eric goes off to work for hours on end.

I hear a knock on the door, I drag myself off the couch and head over to open the door--Peter. I nod at the guards posted outside my apartment door and Peter works in and makes himself at home as usual.

"What do you want Peter?" I sigh crossing my arms. Actually, I'm surprised Peter isn't with Ean, Eric must've gotten the day off.

"Came to check up on you." Peter picks at his fingernails.

"Or have you been dying to tell me something about Eric like last time? I told you I don't want to hear it what he does with his life is his business...not mine, not anymore."

"Okay. Fine. I won't tell you then." Peter rolls his eyes. "But you might want to reconsider, considering Ean's involved." Peter crosses his arms across his chest.