19. I don't love him

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I was about to yell at him but his hands came to my mouth and i was pinned between him and the wall. We were so close and just staring at each other. He slowly removed his hand and placed it on my cheeks

" so now You'll force yourself on me? " my voice came out as a whisper because I've been treated the exact same way by alex.

" how could you even think like dat? not even in my dreams I'll force you for anything. I'm sorry but rose I just want to talk to you " he bacjed away maintaining an appropriate distance

"What if i dont want to?" I want to talk to him but i cant hurt myself more. I dont want to accept the truth that he is dating natalie

" please " he added softly and i almost cracked but i held. I had to be strong

" what do you want to talk about chris. As far as i remember im doing exactly what you want from me. Staying away from you" i said sarcastically turning my back on him avoiding his eyes. If chris would have been with me i could've faced alex.

He just wants me to be his slave right. He didn't yet ordered me to stay away from chris.

" i know im sorry to say those words but trust me its hard trying to stay away from you. You are behaving like you dont even know my name. Your ignorance is hurting me and seeing you with alex in any way burns me from inside. What the hell are these rumours goin on? "

" do you believe them. You too think of me wat they think? " he placed a hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him.

" ofcourse not. I only believe what my heart says "

" and what does it say? "

" that it....my heart says " he again stutters and i shook my head in disbelief

" leave it chris " i head to the door but he again stops me gripping my wrist

" please talk to me rose " as soon as those words left from his mouth i lost it. I can see the desperation, the need, the pain in his eyes and i can't see him like this.

" fine lets talk. If its hard then why are we trying to stay away from each other. What do you want from me now " i placed my hand on his hand and removed it slowly.

" Wats with you and alex. Why the hell are you going on a date with him. Rose he's not your type of guy " i can hear his voice cracking in the end. But did he even ask me once to be his date

" Nd why should i answer you. Do you answer me? Make up your mind chris. One side you are trying to get away from me and here you are all being so caring towards me. " he runs his hand in hair in frustration and inhales a sharp intake of breath.

After some moment he face me again Nd speaks " lets do this you answer me I'll answer you. Anything whatever. We'll be honest. promise? " as risky and childish it sounds its also interesting

" Promise!" Before i could stop myself i said those words. I dont know was that a question or an answer. But it was too risky

" Do you love alex? "

" Ofcose not chris "

" Thank god. I know but just i wanted to hear from you "

" Do you love natalie? " i ask the same

" No "

Yeah we know we both love each other

" are you dating alex? "

" for god sake No " i reply and he sighs in relief

" Is there some major problem going in your life chris? "

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