48. Dead or alive

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I was sitting lonely somewhere. Everything i could see around me was dull and black. It was peaceful. It was what i wanted. But it was lonely.

I stood up and started walking. I think I'm dead. But where are other dead people. Why can't i see nobody.

After what felt like hours and hours of walking i found nothing and no one. Just plain grasses everywhere.

No i want my mom dad

I miss jacob

I miss my friends

I miss chris

I think I'm dreaming. I just have to wakeup. I squeezed my eyes shut hard and open but nothing.

Suddenly everything started shaking and i started running. I saw a very bright yellow light.

Instantly i started running there. This place is not what i want. I want my life back. I want the colours back. This is not peace.

Peace is being with your loved ones. Everyone faces problems in their life. That doesnt mean you run away. You face it and you win your life back.

I stood under the yellow light. It was burning my skin. I rubbed my body to soothe the pain and all of a sudden i fell.

When i opened my eyes again slowly this time i saw them one by one. There was mom dad jacob chris. The people i wanted.

" thank god you made it " the doctor sagged in relief. Are the doctors so worried about their patients?

Somebody helped me with a glass of water and i blessed the nurse for it.

" rose thank god. " jacob squeezed me hard taking my breath away. I think he wants to send me to hell again.

" leave her " the doctor ordered
" it's a miracle she made it alive.  The bullets damaged her  severely but still it missed any organs. She can't talk right now but she's out of danger. " he explained and shifted me out of the operation theatre into a room full of flowers. Instantly i felt good. Everybody entered after me.

The reality hit me that i tried to take my life but I'm alive. And I'm happy i am. Otherwise i would've never seen my mom dad again ever.

The first one was jacob who sat beside me.

His eyes were gone red from crying and i was giving him a blank look " rose? You remember me right? "

What

" you are looking at me as if you don't recognize me. Just blink once if you do " i first rolled my eyes and then blinked once slowly

He sagged in relief and hugged me again " shit i thought you had a memory loss. You remember everytime i used to joke that i wish you get hit by amnesia so i get rid of you. But dammit even the thought of losing me from your memories scared the shit out of me " he explained and i can't help but smile.

How could i even think of ending my life. I know its my life but they all have equal rights on my life. To decide whether i should leave them or not.

Especially my mom. My dad. I avert my gaze to look at both of them. God I'm seeing them after an eternity.

They both are looking like somebody who has not showered from a week. God what was i thinking ending my life.

Mom came at my side and hugged me not wanting to leave me at all. Dad on the other side was not even meeting my eyes. What happened to him?

" dad? " i called and he turned to me. My throat was burning but i managed to say a bit.

" I'm sorry princess. I didn't knew the truth. I'm so sorry for everything " dad apologized holding my hand i dont know for what

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