30. Break up

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We all were coming out of the examination hall. Some had a grin on their faces while some dejected. Mine was as usual blank. Nor happiness neither sadness. I've just turned into a zombie.

As far as my paper. It was worst. Fortunately this was the last paper. Coz i cant handle it anymore. Only god knows how stressful was this one month coping with alex and studies. I also tried to avoid group studies coz i cant handle their questioning eyes anymore.

I'm staying with alex that means I'm dating him was damn clear. And even if it wasn't clear alex made sure that everyone knows about it. Especially chris.

I still remember alex and me were in the canteen and he announced there that we are dating and offered free drinks to all. The look in chris eyes was speechless. The way his jaw was tightened and he clutch his fists showed his anger clearly. Chris never once came to talk to me and even i couldn't even if i want to. We just ignore each other whenever our paths crossed.

Alex even throwed a small party in our dorm where everyone was invited. Chris and my friends didn't arrive clearly indicating they are not happy with my decision. I had to force a smile on my face as it was his order that no one should doubt us. When alex wasn't around those bitch girls who were head to toes jealous from me told me on my face that congratulations. Your plan to seduce him got succeeded. It made me feel disgusted.

I fail to understand how can someone be so insensitive. Sooner or later this will end. One day he will get bored with his childish games. For now he just wants his revenge from me and chris so let him have it. If i just listen to him maybe i can tolerate him. Im just waiting for it to end. 

I seriously just want to submit it and dont play any games. What game can i play with alex? and can i even win? If i seriously do try to seduce him what if he actually gets to the edge and force him on me. The last thing i want to do with alex is sex. Ill admit hes hot but im not facing any Stockholm syndrome here. 

He gives me goosebumps but he also disgust me. He makes me feel things but he also makes me feel worst about me. I just dont want to do anything with him. 

Last week Jacob got discharged but i cant dump him now and send him to the hospital again. It was hard to convince alex to give time to let him recover atleast so i didnt even try. I still remember our conversation and how fast my heart was beating

We were having dinner together in his dorm after the party and all the cleaning in which surprisingly he helped me and did not made me feel as im some maid he hired. He never lets me work but sometimes we both cook together in silence and he makes sure i always eat. 

Right now we were having lasagna which he ordered for today. " you didn't invite your friends today? "  we dont talk much but i just reply to his questions 

" i did. " i reply looking down as i cant look in his eyes which are always on me. 

" Jacob got discharged yesterday " he said after a pause and i snap my head up quickly. 

" really? " i cant help hiding my happiness and smile but alex was someway showing a weird look to me instead of answering

" yes he did. You remember our deal right? " he reminded me but he cant be serious. He is just recovering and he want me to stress him now. " yes or no. or you've forgotten the deal too the way you've forgotten to smile and talk " he yell to shift my focus on him again but wait what? why is he concerned if i smile or not. " you are my girlfriend and i dont want people to think that you are not happy. " he explained taking a pause after seeing my frown look 

i nod that i understood and continue" yes i remember the deal but the thing is that " i raise my eyes to see him expecting something. is he expecting me to argue so he can make my life more hell. i need to choose my words carefully "  nothing. ill do what you say. If you want tomorrow then it will be tomorrow only or right now. whatever you want" his eyes pass a disappointing look but he somehow continues

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